"You really crushed your workout today didn't you?" a woman asked me in the locker at Boston Sports Club on Tuesday.
I was a little stunned. "How did you know? I just posted it on Facebook. Did you see it?"
"No I was watching you and saw that you had been at your workout for awhile and you seemed really into it."
"Hi - I'm Carolyn and I'm the Membership Services representative here." After we chatted about my journey and her own healing journey with MS, she commented how happy she was to have me as a member at the gym.
Well a really strange thing happened to me at the gym. I got on the Arc Trainer where I was planning to maintain at .86-.88 for 20 minutes. Before I started training for Bermuda again, during my off season I wanted to hit .90 which I did in May. Something lit up inside of me where I told myself to set goals not limits and remind myself of the person I am today - transformed and healed from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. Before I knew what happened and a whole lot of sweat later, I hit .91 in 20 minutes. Amazing!
I got out of my thoughts and got out of the way during yesterday's workout. It was strange. I was planning on being mindful and not "overdoing it" during my work out after Saturday's 11 miler in the freezing cold.
I became aware of my automatic thoughts as a survivor of paralytic polio who had been diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome 11 years ago and a survivor of severe childhood trauma.
Lately I've been aware of movement and thoughts that come from habits from the past and am working to change them.
I have created new mantras such as I can get up out of bed in the morning with ease. I can get up out of a chair with ease. I experience freedom and ease in mind, body and soul.
I can sense the awareness of memories from polio and violence and because I bring them into awareness, I now have the opportunity to change them.
I bring a lot of love and compassion to my memorized self and am truly grateful that I survived the horror of my past. More than surviving the horror of my past, I have created a very sweet new present and a beautiful future for myself.
As Dr. Joe Dispenza likes to say, and I HIGHLY recommend his work, it's important to have measurements to determine progress and the outcome of change but it's also important to bear in mind that it's not so important to look at the what we have created but that we have the power to create change and transform!
Ten years ago this past May, I left my award winning social work career at the VA to heal my life from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome. I was given a rather grim prognosis and was told I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.
I continue to become aware of how the messages and experiences from my childhood hardwired my brain and my Being and as I do, I do something different to create an opportunity to rewire as I did when I exceeded my limitations at the gym on Tuesday and continue to journey forward as a woman transformed.
Please remember change is just one thought and action away!
To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary
Be sure to listen to my interview with Keith Cartwright, "From Polio Survivor to Boston Marathon Finisher" by following this link.
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
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