The runs are getting longer and the days are getting colder here in Boston but I also feel the joy in the journey!
As I reflect on last year's training I realize that the one ingredient missing from the training was joy. It was hard to experience joy after our daughter moved out in October still in the throes of severe depression and PTSD. We didn't know where she would go and it was incredibly painful to let go but all 3 of us knew she had to find her path. Staying at home was just not an option at that time.
Those early miles on the road back from the edge (as Ruth Anne calls her journey) were grueling for Ruth Anne and for us. Yet we all persevered, digging deep to help her go the distance. It was really no different than someone battling cancer. Different med trials, 24 hour care and supervision and advocacy to make sure Ruth Anne was getting what she needed to recover. We faced the mystery of the unknown....
Tom and I had talked about what to do about Bermuda ... We were registered and flights and hotel were booked. I remember the conversation at the dinner table so clearly when I felt this stirring in my soul that Ruth Anne should train with us and go with us to Bermuda for race weekend.
When I made the suggestion, a glimmer of light shone within her and my heart leapt with joy. Team McManus was reunited and it felt so good.
Those early runs were a challenge for everyone! We hadn't trained and run together since the 2009 Boston Marathon. While Ruth Anne ran the Nashville Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon several years ago, she hadn't been training. We were able to fire up the memories of our training for Boston and even went back and looked at some of our old blogs about the journey from Hopkinton to Boston.
Little by little, we got in step and were running side by side and stride by stride together. We've run 2 5K races that were pure joy. Ruth Anne feels so much joy being able to pace me during a race. We experienced a few minor meltdowns but a whole lot of laughter and joy as we've run through rain, through heat and humidity and thoroughly enjoyed many perfect running day conditions to prepare for Bermuda.
Joy is a very brave decision for how to respond to life. We all could have let the circumstances of the past 3 years weigh us down and predict a grim future based on the past. Instead we chose and continue to choose to find joy in the journey on and off of the roads.
There is always something to be grateful for and there is always something to be joyful about.
Today Ruth Anne is on what she calls her miracle drug combination. She started a community recovery program today that focuses on helping her get back to work. She is volunteering for Boston Cares.
I'm back to writing my next book, 'The Adventures of Runnergirl1953' and sharing my inspirational journey on social media and in intervviews. I'm meeting next week with one of my former social work colleagues at the VA and we are putting together a proposal for the NASW National Conference on the therapeutic and healing power of running both for clients and social workers as caregivers.
I would not and could not trade any of the challenges of my 11 year journey to heal the effects of paralytic polio and trauma or these last 3 years of journeying with Ruth Anne through the maze of depression and PTSD.
When we experience joy and gratitude, there is more that happens in our outer world to be joyful and grateful about despite any and all appearances to the contrary. Despite being in a wheelchair at times, being in a leg brace and using a cane for mobility back in February of 2007 shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, I wrote poetry overflowing with joyful images, gratitude, and feeling the joy of being healed and whole.
There is so much joy in the journey when we are brave enough to allow ourselves to use the lens of joy and gratitude to experience life trusting and knowing, as Ruth Anne often says, "The Universe has our back."
It's countdown to Bermuda time. In a little over 2 months we board that Delta flight for Paradise.
More importantly, it's also time to experience joy in the journey embracing all there is to experience on the roads and in life. We are here now in joy and gratitude and truly that is all that matters.
To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary
Be sure to listen to my interview with Keith Cartwright, "From Polio Survivor to Boston Marathon Finisher" by following this link.
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
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