After Tom and Ruth Anne returned from their early morning run and told me how beautiful it was, I couldn't let myself cross train in the gym today. I usually do 5.5-6 miles at the gym using the Arc Trainer and the Bike and then on Wednesdays, we do a 5K run early morning. Tomorrow the weather calls for rain; today radiant sunshine and temperatures in the 50's. I decided to do 5 miles and then do an easy 30 minutes on the bike tomorrow.
Tom and I did our core work together, had breakfast and as he went off to work, I went off on a 5 mile solo run.
Being able to head out the front door and just go on a 5 mile run is a gift that I accept with deepest gratitude. For 11 years ago I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease according to the white coats of Western Medicine. I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair but I would not take the diagnosis sitting down.
During this morning's run I reflected on, and felt my heart fill with gratitude for the miracle of healing in my life. Three years ago next month, I suffered a very serious knee injury. The MRI showed shredded cartilage, bone spurs, a fatty lipoma, degenerative joint disease, degenerative changes from previous surgeries...the list goes on and on AND indicated that my gastroc muscle was atrophied aka wasted as a result of paralytic polio. I remember sitting in Dr. Darren Rosenberg's office in January of 2015. He was quite solemn with me saying that there wasn't anything that could be done and that I would probably require a total knee replacement in a few years. "We've known your gastroc muscle was wasted as a result of the paralytic polio. There's nothing you can do about that. It's not like you can grow a new one." He knew that I wouldn't stop running but warned me to not do any more distance running. He gave me a prescription for Physical Therapy that included a recommendation for Kinesiotaping.
As I ran around the calm waters of the Reservoir with the colors of Fall still in all of their splendor I reflected on how the physical therapist that I saw was the physical therapist from hell. When I shared what happened with her with Ryan J. Means, DC who I was blessed to find after things didn't work out with the physical therapist, he suggested that she was absent when they taught bedside manners.
As I felt my strength and courage in each footstep, thoughts came and went like the wispy clouds in the brilliant blue sky. I've been aware of how I move in my body and have new mantras about how I am able to move freely and with ease. As I became keenly aware of the effects of paralytic polio followed by 9 years of unrelenting violence at the hands of family members, I felt a shift happen within me. I'm usually extremely cautious and tentative around the uneven dirt areas that are rocky but I found myself running lightly across that patch of ground. Instead of feeling the grip of fear, I felt the Divine Protection that surrounded me then...and now...and felt a surge of strength rise up from the depths of my soul.
I've been reading Dr. Joe Dispenza's book, "Becoming Supernatural:How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon." Dr. Ryan introduced me to Dr. Joe's work in 2015 as I devoured, "You Are The Placebo" and embraced his work to move forward in my healing odyssey. Dr. Joe builds on the work he shared in "You Are The Placebo" with enhanced meditations and more in depth explanations of how we can cross the river of change with fear at our back. Before working with Dr. Ryan and practicing the work of Dr. Joe, I could not get traction on my healing journey.
I imagined myself as a superhero woman fighting back releasing the trauma and violence I absorbed in my body. I was no longer afraid. Oh and by the way I've grown a new gastroc muscle! Dr. Ryan suggested exercises to fire up my gastroc muscle using mirror neurons and Kinesiotaping to stimulate the growth of the muscle.
I felt deep gratitude for the gift of this day and the glorious weather despite it being November 21st. Yesterday it was freezing in Boston with a biting wind. Today was quite the contrast and set the stage for a transformational training run on the road to Bermuda Half Marathon III. I felt the burdens from yesterday melt away.
In the distance I saw a woman who I knew many years ago. She was once a vibrant woman who owned her own business. I hadn't seen her in awhile and then a few years ago, she told me she was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. I knew that I needed to pause my run and talk with her. She told me that "so far the Parkinson's Disease hadn't interfered with her ability to drive, to cook and to walk -- not yet anyway." "Why don't you leave off the 'not yet'" and I went on to tell her about the work of Dr. Joe and how it has helped me to transform my life.
She expressed her gratitude for my suggestion and we went on our separate ways. After meeting with her, I felt my pace pick up and a wonderful connection to the Divine within me and around me.
I found myself embracing the gift of the present moment as every foot strike carried me forward.
I could have run the entire Half Marathon today feeling so good in my body, mind and soul.
I felt the joy and fun of being outdoors on a 5 mile solo run and how these next 4 weeks of training are going to be fun. I am going to enjoy every moment savoring the soreness, celebrating the miracle of healing and feeling triumphant over the past events in my life. Yes Dr. Joe - it's true - the past does not have to predict the future. We can be the powerful creators of our lives.
These next four weeks are a time to, as I like to say, top off the tank of physical training to ensure a wonder and joy filled Bermuda Half Marathon III and to ramp up the mental training knowing that I can and will go the distance once more.
To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
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