During our last long run training for Bermuda Half Marathon 2018, Tom took this video:
When I first saw the replay of it I was intensely critical of what I saw. Tremors, wrinkles, a slow runner....
Whoa!
I'm going to respond to my criticism and to anyone who might judge the woman in the video.
Every wrinkle on my face indicates a challenge that God blessed me with to discover my strength, my courage, my fortitude, determination and to bring me closer to the Divine within me and around me. I can trace every line to an event that reminds me how my heart broke and then healed!
Every wrinkle represents wisdom garnered from those events.
During Saturday's 6 mile training run, one of our neighbors shouted out, "Hey how is the training going? Are you running Boston this year?"
I smiled and I heard God speak to me through him... "Be the creation you are meant to be."
As for the tremors well they are healing as is my entire neurological system from the effects of paralytic polio that I contracted at age 5 and severe childhood trauma. They are the reminder that the Divine within and around me is so much greater than those who tried to kill me.
Beneath the surface of gray hair and wrinkles lies a woman with an indomitable Spirit. When I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome 11 years ago and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair I refused to take the diagnosis sitting down. Instead I got still and asked for Divine Guidance.
Three years ago this month I suffered a serious knee injury and was told that I should never have started running in the first place, that I needed to cap the distance I was going to run if I was going to continue to run. I should return to the Post-Polio clinic for evaluation and intervention because, after all, it was only a matter of time before the disease did progress and to expect that I would need a total knee replacement within a few years.
Yes I am a slow runner but slow is relative. I love how Tom told me "For someone who is supposed to be in a wheelchair, you run pretty fast."
Ever since I was a little girl, I was always able to see beyond appearances and was blessed to be touched by grace after contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5. I was neglected by my drug addicted mother and minimally cared for by my father and grandfather. Three years later, and for nine years until his suicide my father abused me sexually, physically and emotionally and my grandmother subjected me to torture rituals. BUT I could always see beyond appearances. I had a wonderful imagination. I felt God's presence with me every step of the way and with every trial and tribulation I faced, my faith and connection to Source has grown stronger and stronger.
It's fun to see beyond appearances; to trust, to believe and to create healing and the circumstances of my life.
One of my favorite healing stories, and one I cherish and remember whenever I begin to doubt or fear anything about my physicality and my ability to create healing in my life by turning to the Divine has to do with a lesion I had on my nose. It began in 2013. It started out as a boil of sorts and then for the next 3 years it would break open, bleed, scab over but never completely heal. Some would say I should have gone to the doctor and had it "taken care of." But something deep inside of me told me that if I got out of the way, it would heal. I'd meditate and send healing light to the lesion on my nose while bringing compassion and love to the site that had suffered so much abuse when I was a child. One day I looked in the mirror and it was completely healed! There is only a scar that remains.
On appearance I had a tumor in my left breast shortly after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome. I meditated and visualized feeling that I had only healthy breast tissue. When I returned for a repeat mammogram, the tumor was gone.
When I reflect on the appearance of myself in the video, I know there is a Truth that lies far beneath the surface.
I continue to play in the field of infinite possibilities while embracing and cherishing how I am in the present. When I reflect on appearances the only thing I need to see and feel is the Divine. When we practice self-love and see the Truth and Beauty of our Being we can our bodies and our lives.
To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
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