Going the Distance: Reflections on Appearances

During our last long run training for Bermuda Half Marathon 2018, Tom took this video:


When I first saw the replay of it I was intensely critical of what I saw. Tremors, wrinkles, a slow runner....

Whoa!



I'm going to respond to my criticism and to anyone who might judge the woman in the video.

Every wrinkle on my face indicates a challenge that God blessed me with to discover my strength, my courage, my fortitude, determination and to bring me closer to the Divine within me and around me. I can trace every line to an event that reminds me how my heart broke and then healed!

Every wrinkle represents wisdom garnered from those events.

During Saturday's 6 mile training run, one of our neighbors shouted out, "Hey how is the training going? Are you running Boston this year?"

I smiled and I heard God speak to me through him... "Be the creation you are meant to be."

As for the tremors well they are healing as is my entire neurological system from the effects of paralytic polio that I contracted at age 5 and severe childhood trauma. They are the reminder that the Divine within and around me is so much greater than those who tried to kill me.

Beneath the surface of gray hair and wrinkles lies a woman with an indomitable Spirit. When I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome 11 years ago and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair I refused to take the diagnosis sitting down. Instead I got still and asked for Divine Guidance.

Three years ago this month I suffered a serious knee injury and was told that I should never have started running in the first place, that I needed to cap the distance I was going to run if I was going to continue to run. I should return to the Post-Polio clinic for evaluation and intervention because, after all, it was only a matter of time before the disease did progress and to expect that I would need a total knee replacement within a few years.

Yes I am a slow runner but slow is relative. I love how Tom told me "For someone who is supposed to be in a wheelchair, you run pretty fast."

Ever since I was a little girl, I was always able to see beyond appearances and was blessed to be touched by grace after contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5. I was neglected by my drug addicted mother and minimally cared for by my father and grandfather. Three years later, and for nine years until his suicide my father abused me sexually, physically and emotionally and my grandmother subjected me to torture rituals. BUT I could always see beyond appearances. I had a wonderful imagination. I felt God's presence with me every step of the way and with every trial and tribulation I faced, my faith and connection to Source has grown stronger and stronger.

It's fun to see beyond appearances; to trust, to believe and to create healing and the circumstances of my life.

One of my favorite healing stories, and one I cherish and remember whenever I begin to doubt or fear anything about my physicality and my ability to create healing in my life by turning to the Divine has to do with a lesion I had on my nose. It began in 2013. It started out as a boil of sorts and then for the next 3 years it would break open, bleed, scab over but never completely heal. Some would say I should have gone to the doctor and had it "taken care of." But something deep inside of me told me that if I got out of the way, it would heal. I'd meditate and send healing light to the lesion on my nose while bringing compassion and love to the site that had suffered so much abuse when I was a child. One day I looked in the mirror and it was completely healed! There is only a scar that remains.

On appearance I had a tumor in my left breast shortly after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome. I meditated and visualized feeling that I had only healthy breast tissue. When I returned for a repeat mammogram, the tumor was gone.

When I reflect on the appearance of myself in the video, I know there is a Truth that lies far beneath the surface.

I continue to play in the field of infinite possibilities while embracing and cherishing how I am in the present. When I reflect on appearances the only thing I need to see and feel is the Divine. When we practice self-love and see the Truth and Beauty of our Being we can our bodies and our lives.



To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

My Running Chronicles: Superpowers - I Ran a Quarter of a Marathon Today!

I sure needed superhero powers to get my run on today. It was a hot and humid 86 degrees out at 8:30 in the morning. I suggested to Tom that we park at the beach and I bring my bathing suit this time so we can go for a nice swim and ice bath after our run.

We packed up the provisions and off we went after doing our planks, crunches and clams with weights.

When we turned onto East Broadway heading to the beach emotions overwhelmed me as they had last week. "Geez what is it about turning on East Broadway that you go into a meltdown?" Tom said with such love and tenderness. Last week I had the realization that in December when I turn 62 I will no longer be on social security disability but receive straight social security. "It was so hard," I said to Tom and started sobbing and then laughing all at the same time. It was like a sun shower when it pours rain but the sun is shining.

This week I asked him if he minded the fact that he could get in a 6.5 mile run in an hour but instead he has to be out there a lot longer with me. Uncontrollable tears and laughter bubbled up inside of me again.

"Are you serious? It's not about the time or the distance. It's about us being together."

More sobs and laughter ... okay I gotta pull myself together. We've got a run to do.

It was hot and humid so we started out nice and easy. We enjoyed the water views and just being out running together.



I reminded myself that I am free now. During a meditation I realized that I am not responsible for what happened to me and I certainly did not deserve what happened to me.

During the run I could feel a lot of thoughts and fears bubble to the surface. I felt my left leg tighten and swell and I flashed back to when I was injured last December; the admonitions and warnings from my former massage therapist, the physical therapists and the doctor played in my mind. I was going out on my longest run since the Tufts 10K last October and AM going to run the Bermuda Half Marathon in January and the Newport Full Marathon next October.



Despite all of my mental training through meditation, I could not shake those thoughts and feelings. I talked with Tom for a bit doing affirmations and then each of us got into our running zones. All of a sudden, like a bolt out of the blue the intention that my previous massage therapist set for me by saying, "I don't quite know how to say this but your left leg is still encased. I'm waiting for it to speak to me," roared in my head. Rather than letting it be and letting it drift away, I engaged in battle. "Oh no. None of you were right. I AM going the distance this time.

The next thing I know I am flying through the air. It was like a slow motion kind of experience.

And landed on the ground ....

I instinctively knew I was fine. Tom tried to pick me up and I said, "I'm fine. Just let me get up."

I could feel how strong I was and how I was able to use my upper body strength to ease the fall. Yes I was bleeding but it was only superficial scratches and scrapes. Passers by were aghast. "Oh my God. Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm fine."

There were a few lifeguards inside the pool at Harbor Point and Tom asked if I could get into the sprinkler and wash off. They said I'd have to walk all the way around the complex but they were kind enough to give me an ice pack.

"Is that where you tripped?" and they pointed to an uneven surface on the sidewalk. They commented that many people have fallen there.

I cleaned off using Tom's t shirt. Drank water and said I wanted and needed to finish the 1.5 miles for our run.

I felt something shift within me. I felt my guardian angel ease my fall along with my strength. It was an absolute miracle that I didn't chip my tooth or break anything. I have "road rash" and scrapes but that's it! And I knew the Universe was giving me a gift.

Ever since I was 5 years old, I harbored this fear about not being able to trust in my body. One day I was a healthy 5 year old and the next minute I dropped to the ground paralyzed. Three years later I experienced horrific acts of violence against my mind and body which needless to say did not do much for me developing a loving relationship with my body. No - I dissociated and developed my intellectual prowess.

When I hit the ground, something loosened up within me. My left leg felt open and free. I realized that the very thing I feared the most happened and not only did I survive it but I went on to finish my run. I have superpowers within me. We all do ... it's by calling upon and totally trusting in the love of the Divine that we harness these superpowers. Even though I fell, I felt invincible and knew that I needed to tell and show my body that we are fine. I felt my strength and resilience! We completed our 6.5 miles and took our runfie:


We went into the ocean for a cleansing ice bath:



The cold salt water brought instant healing to my body. Tom and I dove in and went for a swim.

We hydrated and refueled with our snacks, went in for another swim and stopped on the way home for a delicious post run lunch at the Kukoo Cafe in Brookline Village.

I came home and took another ice bath with epsom salts and a hot shower. We bought band aids to protect the scrapes and I am using vaseline to promote the healing of the scrapes on my nose and upper lip. I use the affirmation that I use every week after our runs, "I trust in my body's capacity to recover from runs and workouts."

These past few weeks have been filled with synchronicity and incredible events. Today's training run was a continuation of my feeling a deep connection to God and the angels that have been there to help me create the miracle of my life.

I ran 6.5 miles today! A quarter of a marathon and half the distance for January....

I believe with my whole Being and deep in my heart that I am going the distance. I learned today that it's time to take off the boxing gloves and stop shadow boxing with the demons from my past. I can settle down and settle into the person I have become...whole, healthy, transformed, runnergirl...I deserve to claim the superhero within me...and with today's fall I can honestly say and feel, "Holy Crap! I'm Batman."





Be sure to visit my Author's Page on Amazon to purchase my books that will uplift,inspire and motivate you to move confidently in the direction of your dreams!

The question is, how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?

A few months ago, we watched, "What the bleep do we know..." and "Down the rabbit hole..."



It was recommended to us by my beloved chiropractor, Dr. Ryan who is now practicing in China! It was May 24th to be exact which was one day shy of the 8 year anniversary of when I left my award winning VA social work career to heal my life.

Since reading Dr. Joe Dispenza's book You Are the Placebo, and watching his videos, Candace Pert's book, Everything you need to know to feel Go(o)d there has been a major shift in my life. There is a flow and a momentum in my life and in my training to run the Bermuda Half Marathon with my sights set on the Newport Marathon in 2016. The spark was lit when I stood face to face with Dr. Ryan at the book release party for "Journey Well" at the place where I used to go for massage. He came into my life to balance the naysayers who were telling me I shouldn't, wouldn't, couldn't run anymore or if I did to limit my distance. Dr. Ryan posed the question, Why set limits and I decided to only take yes for an answer!

I bought "The Little Book of Bleeps: Ponder these for awhile!" which contain quotations from the movie and information about the "talking heads" who share their views of quantum physics.

One of the quotes is, "When we think of 'things', then we make the Reality more concrete than it is. That's why we become stuck." ~Amit Goswami, Ph.D.

I have chosen to jump into the rabbit hole and see how much healing and transformation I am able to create in my life.

According to "reality" for a polio survivor, I should at the very least be in a leg brace and using a wheelchair to conserve energy. I should experience chronic pain and fatigue and according to Western Medicine there is no way that I can sprout new neuromuscular connections.

I am, as Einstein would say, changing the facts.

I harness the power of my mind through meditation, visualization and writing poetry to see myself as whole and healthy.

I used to be fearful, well terrified that my body would not stand up (interesting choice of words) to the challenges I gave it. Now I believe with my whole heart that I AM an endurance runner and I run unencumbered. My workout schedule is healthy and right for me even as and maybe especially as we increase miles. I do modify effort in the pool since we are adding miles to our long runs but maintain the level of strength training. I recover so much more quickly from runs and workouts and have so much confidence in my body now. With every meditation, with every run and workout, I am erasing the past and creating this magnificent mind/body as I was always meant to be connected to the Source of Divine Love and Intelligence.

My outer world has been filled with synchronicity and wonder and awe and mystery.

So I choose to not live in the know making reality concrete and reacting to it. I choose to live in the mystery and allow everything to flow and create.

The answer is, I am pretty far down the rabbit hole and it's a beautiful space in which to live!

How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?


I went pretty far down the rabbit hole when I quit my award winning career as a VA social worker to heal my life...My books are available on Amazon and share the mystery and wonder of my journey. It just keeps getting better and better and I'll be bringing you these next magical and wonder-filled miles in my next book, 'Going the Distance.'

Got problems?

Who doesn't right?



Ahhh but no worries because every problem brings incredible gifts.

When I was in the middle of water pouring through the ceiling in my upstairs hallway, through windows and the back door and snow was piled so high we thought we'd never see our back stairs again worried about how would we escape if God forbid there was a fire (Tom told me we could jump out the window and land in the snow pile on the side of the house) I was feeling stressed to the max. People were telling us it would cost at least $2500 to clean the roof and remove the ice dams. Feeling overwhelmed at that point was an understatement. But Spirit is always at work if we open ourselves and ask for help.

First I saw a post from one of my friend's on Facebook that we could submit a claim to our insurance company. Water from above due to ice dams is covered in home owner's policy. We have worked with our agent for years and he was wonderful in helping to initiate the claim. The process went very smoothly and we will be getting additional monies as more damage was revealed as the snow and ice melted.

We needed to do work on the house and the ice dam damage gave us the push we needed.

In the midst of my panic, I was somehow able to hear Spirit suggest "two words" duct tape. There was a political joke about someone predicting the apocalypse and the answer to every problem was two words - duct tape. It certainly was the answer to our problem to prevent further water damage.

And then the Universe sent us Eddie the roofer who only charged us $400 to clear the snow off of the roof; explained to us what was causing the ice dams and that all we needed to do was put some holes in the ceiling to allow for quick drainage. Once the snow was off the roof, the leaking would stop. It took trust and faith in this total stranger that the leaking would in fact stop.

He also told us about Mass Save to have our insulation replaced and to get a home energy audit. We saved $2000 to get new insulation, have proper ventilation for our bathroom fan (which was in violation of a safety code), have work done to prevent ice dams from forming in the future and have already saved over $20/month on our electric bill from the energy audit.

Eddie also referred us to Mike the electrician to have the electrical work done. Mike also found code violations and brought us up to code while he did the repairs from ice dam damage.

As good fortune would have it, Eddie has not only been doing roofing, but does contract work. Next week we begin the final phase of repairs.

I am taking this opportunity to clean and have our home reflect the positive and amazing shift and transformation that is happening in our lives. We will buy a few new things but running things through the washing machine and doing a good scrubbing is really all that's needed.

I am taking it room by room and relishing in the transformation while the process of repairs is happening in other rooms.

It's amazing to feel the energy shift ...

So got problems? Who doesn't right but oh the gifts and treasures we discover wrapped up inside of the problems when we open up to the goodness and benevolence of the Universe. Just remember...



Be blessed! Journey well! To all good things...

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Mind Games

Last night during my meditation before falling asleep I had this sharp pain go through my left leg. 'Oh no,' was my first thought, 'I'm injured again' and then I got still. I had a conversation with my body and allowed the flashback to polio and reconstructive leg surgery to flow. I've often experienced flashbacks to the pain of polio in my left leg and been able to ride its wave but in the wake of last December's knee injury, I panicked but only for a moment.

I remembered these two quotes:


I smiled. I breathed. I relaxed and I celebrated feeling deep gratitude for all that I do have. I reminded myself of the power of the healer within me and I told myself that the grip of fear came from the 5 year old within me whose body collapsed and stopped functioning with no warning; I allowed the memories from the reconstructive leg surgery for which I was awake using epidural spinal for anesthesia to flow. I told myself I'm safe and blessed by knowing my healer within, partnering with people who are healers in my life and feeling the love and support of my village whose love is powerful medicine. I played with imagery and visualization going to my favorite place the beach to allow the sun, the sand and the salt water to bathe me in healing waters. I saw my knee as healthy and used the laser vision of my 3rd eye to clear out the debris in the joint. I allowed the congested energy from the painful experiences of the past and residuals from polio, surgery and violence to wash through me imagining a lavage of light and love to clear the path in its wake. After I allowed the hot, searing pain to flow, I noticed that my left leg and actually both legs felt lighter and there was a sense of ease in my legs.

I also wondered why it's so easy to go to those mind games that involve fear, intimidation, or unworthiness and why we have to work so hard to flip on the switch of joy, strength, confidence, healing, hope, knowing all is well and allowing, as Thich Nhat Hahn says in this beautiful quote that appeared on my Facebook News Feed this morning, all good things to bloom:



It takes practice, practice, practice to be able to execute mind games that foster health, happiness, joy, gratitude, excitement and allow creativity and inspiration to flow.

Last night, rather than allowing the pain and fear to grip my body, mind, heart and soul, I played detective to find the source of the physical and emotional pain I experienced. I allowed my energy to flow by steadying my breath and calming my mind reminding myself to Trust and have Faith; that, to quote the healer Jack Gray, "I am a child of God. Everything I need to heal is inside of me. Healing this leg is no big problem."

Nor is healing all of the things that happened to me...but it takes practice, patience, persistence and pacing and figuring out what treatments, therapies, workouts best serve me at any given time. I choose where to put my energies and make sure that every choice I make is supporting healing, vibrancy, vitality and thriving in the wake of all that I experienced.

And it takes mind games to harness the power of all that is right and true and good within me - that delicious Divine Energy, pure love and light to support my body as it heals. I surround myself with like-hearted and like-minded people who can support the mind games I like to play and I make sure that I am the guardian and the gate keeper of positive, healthy, life affirming healing thoughts. I am reminded of a quote from Dave McGillvray, "My game. My rules." I get to play this hand that I've been dealt with finesse, success, joy, and exhilaration as I train for the 2016 Newport Marathon to raise money and awareness for the Arredondo Family Foundation.

Be blessed. Journey well. To all good things....

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Lessons learned from a crashed hard drive

The dreaded swirling thingie was going full tilt on my mac laptop on Friday evening.



Fortunately my husband is a techie and I asked him for help.

As we tried different ways to reboot, there was bad news. The hard drive had crashed.

Tom tried calling the Apple Store and decided to make a trip down there without an appointment gently taking my laptop with all of my poems and journals, quotes and images to the Apple Store. We had two back ups but didn't know the last time it was able to back up. While he took my computer to the Apple Store, I took out pen and paper and tried to recall recent entries.

I had started a poem about the Shifting Sands of Time and it was a wonderful opportunity to be still and finish the poem.




The Shifting Sands of Time

She wades into the water past present and future swirl at her feet
wringing out with cleansing sobs tears bitter salty sweet.
Gazing on horizon contemplating all that went before
oddly grounded in this moment shifting sands upon the shore.
As seagulls soar above her they remind her she's now whole
from holy hell to journey well she traveled in her soul.
Drinking in the sunshine once doused fire now is lit
a brave and mighty Spirit running free she breaks the bit.
The warmth of sand between her toes her hair a mighty mane
resounding rhythm lapping waves echo life's refrain.
Unbridled joy and freedom breath heaving heart is light
footsteps sure and steady soon disappear from sight.
With an inner knowing smile drenched in sweat her pace can cease
no longer seeking she is found and walks her path of peace.

Tom came back in short order telling me that the only time the Genius Bar had available was on Tuesday. He explained that it just needed a new hard drive. "Oh we don't sell hard drives here. You'd have to leave the machine. We order it and then you come back to pick it up."

Tom was going to try to make it to Microcenter where they sell hard drives before they closed at 9 pm but since it started snowing decided to come home.

I suggested that we just reboot it and asked the angel techies to come and help save my computer.

Tom decided to allow me to give it a try.

We walked away and were patient deciding that we'd probably need to leave it overnight to do whatever it was going to do although Tom, with his 35 years in the computer industry told me to not be too hopeful. I suggested we join together in optimism that somehow the machine would fix itself.

About a half an hour later I walked by and said, "We have a screen saver."

Tom suggested we leave the machine overnight as planned and on Saturday morning he ran a utility program that was able to restore the hard drive and it's working better than ever without any more swirly thingies.

If we would have panicked and Tom tried to get to Microcenter to buy a hard drive and/or a new mac before they closed, we would have wasted a lot of precious time and money. Now it could have happened that it did not restore itself and we would have addressed that but it's amazing what can happen with patience, faith and the magical touch of a seasoned techie to restore a computer when it had a very grim prognosis.

All of my documents were there although I was fully prepared for whatever might have been lost knowing about the impermanence of all things.

I am, however, extremely grateful that my work is in tact and embrace the wonderful lessons learned from a crashed hard drive.

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Patience and Confidence

When we are in the midst of getting from here to there, it is so hard to have patience and trust that all will be well. It may take more time and effort than we had originally planned to get through whatever it is we need to get through but while we are on the journey we can imagine a wonderful "there". For me, I am imagining that first warm, dry day of Spring with the sun shining wearing only a light jacket to go outside.

When we have patience and don't panic, we are able to allow for the time needed to have things evolve and work out as they are meant to work out. Our angel roofer Eddie told us that the leak in our ceiling would stop after several hours. The phrase a watched pot never boils and a leaking ceiling never stops if you watch it applies here. We put old t shirts in a big pot and a pail, went to bed and when we woke up, the ceiling had stopped leaking! Initially there were no leaks anywhere but as the sun hit our house, even though the temperatures are freezing, melting began and we sprung a leak through our back door. I brought out the duct tape, Tom is coming home from work to help assess and tape and clear off ice on the top of the awning that may be the culprit for the dripping and I'll go to my Aquatics Therapy class entrusting our home to the angels.

I received a call from our insurance company. Homes are covered for damage caused by ice dams. He was so wonderful and supportive telling me that as a claims adjuster and a homeowner going through the same thing, he is working hard to provide support and expedite claims. When I told him I had to put down the duct tape and get a pen and paper, he said it's something new every day isn't it?

When all the leaking started, I freaked out. One thing that frightened me was a flash from the past when I was left all alone to figure things out and straighten out messes from a very messy family. Who was honorable and trustworthy who was going to help us? So many of my friends sent an outpouring of support and resources. Everything I need is available to us. I was and am never alone but there are those feelings of wondering when and how will it end and the panic of a child and adolescent mind. Through meditation I am able to calm myself and bring myself back to the present. I use that time to also reflect on the blessings and grace that abound in my life and the confidence that no matter what, I can indeed journey well. I reflected on the miracle of my emerging from my family situation and the goodness that was there. My Zadie, my grandfather had the roofing business with my Uncle Al in Philadelphia. He was a wonderful story teller and adored having all of his grandchildren in a circle around him after we'd feast on bagel, lox, chub fish and sticky buns. I know he had a hand in sending us Eddie the roofer. The name of Eddie's business is Brookline Roofing and Sheet Metal. My Zadie's business was Alper and Sons Roofing and Sheet Metal.

When I had injured my knee, in the midst of the swelling and pain I wondered if I would ever be able to walk again. After a few days of rest, I walked with a cane. After another week of building core strength, I walked without the cane. Would I be able to use my recumbent bike again without pain? Oh yes and now I am up to 40 minutes and 8+ miles. It takes patience and discipline for me to adhere to my health and wellness program. I need to trust in and feel confidence in my body's tremendous healing capacity. I am building a team of wonderful complementary providers to support the work that I do each and every day and that will help me to get back on the roads and age well.

Patience and time - powerful warriors to navigate through stressful times.

Journey well!

"Journey Well" and all of my inspirational books are available on Amazon.

"Journey Well" is a book about resilience, strength, courage and how we are able to journey well no matter what conditions life hands to us. I profile the people who are Boston Stronger and share how 4/15/13 was a wake up call to me to return to my healing path from contracting paralytic polio at age 5 and 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent.



50% of all book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica where people of all ages and abilities achieve higher function and fitness through high challenge sports and training.

Calling All Angels

The leaking began with the downstairs window frame in the kitchen last Wednesday. After not getting to Aquatics Therapy class on Tuesday because of yet another storm hitting Boston, I knew I had to get to Spaulding and into the pool. I unplugged the toaster and moved it out of harms way. I put saran wrap on the window sill, asked the angels to please watch over the house and went to Aquatics.

When we got home, I was inspired to suggest to Tom that we use duct tape to seal off the leak. It held. We began the quest to find someone who could remove our ice dams.

Fortunately no one was available. As we sprung more and more leaks, we escalated the search believing that the culprit was the ice dams. A search on Craig's List brought us one individual who was going to charge us $2500 and was not going to write up a formal proposal to do the work. We trusted our gut and despite the leaks, knew we had to move forward with care asking Spirit to guide us every step of the way. I cast a wide net filling out contact forms, contacting HomeAdvisor and networking with my friends.

We received an email from one company yesterday. Six men crew. $1900 cash or check or money order. We were planning to have him come on Friday but this morning at 4 am we heard 3 beeps wake us up.

"Is that your phone going off? Tom asked. "No is it yours?"

We got up and realized it was the CO detector. I immediately felt dizzy and nauseous and had a headache.

"Oh no what do we do?"

We googled the signals for the CO detector and found out that it's 4 beeps not 3 that indicate dangerous levels of CO. Besides our detectors in the basement and on the 1st floor had not gone off.

Whew! Dodged that bullet. It was the anxiety I felt that was causing the symptoms!

And then we heard the familiar drip drip drip. More leakage and that's what set off the detector.

We put a bucket underneath the leak and decided to get a bit more sleep before it was time to get up for Aquatics. With the drip drip drip as my meditation soundtrack, I repeated my mantras of "All will be well. All will be well. Let the Universe take care of you Mary." I prayed. I called on all of my helpers seen and unseen to see us through.

We got up and got ready for Aquatics leaving plenty of time for traffic. We made it to Spaulding in only a half hour.

We had an absolutely magnificent Aquatics Therapy class with only 3 participants. We channeled our inner ballerina, did water yoga and did gentle aqua jogging with a noodle in the deep end. We did a lot of stretching which felt amazing after all the tension I was feeling around the leaking in our house. I knew that staying home would only serve to increase my anxiety so as we left, I asked the angels to keep watch over our house and to please send someone to help.

I checked email. The company was going to try to get someone to the house tomorrow and would send a formal proposal.

I received voice mails for scheduling appointments in 3 weeks to remove ice dams. One company called and said he would do only snow removal for $1600 and that he doesn't recommend removing ice dams because you can destroy the gutters. One landscaping company told me he had a crew in the area and they would come and break up the ice dams. He couldn't give me an estimate and said that if they came to look at the job, we would have to hire them to do the work.

And then ... "Hi Mary - Eddie from Brookline Roofing. You left a message. What do you need me to do?"

I told him.

"You at home?"

"We will be in about half an hour."

"Great. I'll meet you there."

And my angel in the form of Eddie Linehan who has been in the roofing business for over 23 years came to the rescue. He explained to us that the damage from the ice dams was already done. If he removed the snow and the water that was trapped between the cold snow on top and the water trapped from the warmth of the house and the ice dams, the leaking would stop. Removing the ice dams is costly and dangerous. He and his partner worked for about an hour clearing the snow off the roof, freeing up the water to either refreeze or roll off of the roof and took care of the snow and ice on our awnings. They took off whatever ice they could safely remove. He told us to make holes in the ceiling to allow the water to drain and dry out and to call our insurance company to file a claim. He said it would take at least several hours for the leaking to stop.

Our window frames have stopped leaking and we have the sound of drip dripping into a bucket in our upstairs hallway. The droplets that extended the length of our hallway ceiling have resolved and now we are patient ... and grateful ....

grateful to have heat and to know that if we have any problems with our heat we have Boston Standard Plumbing to call. We are grateful for electricity and food and that the damage is contained to the hallway. We are grateful that Spirit intervened and we only had to pay $400 for the roof snow removal and the guidance about our next steps. I believe that my Aunt Barbara who was married to my father's brother, Uncle Al, who was in the roofing business sent Eddie to us. All of my friends' prayers and intentions to help us find a contractor manifested. We are grateful that Spring is on its way and that we have the practice of meditation to see us through. I am grateful that I have a wonderful partner with Tom. We work well together as Team McManus.

I'm calling all angels for my friends who need contractors, heat, electricity and the strength and fortitude to navigate these next few weeks until Spring arrives in New England. I'm calling all angels to watch over us and keep us safe knowing they are here with us before we even have to utter a word!

Journey well!

"Journey Well" and all of my inspirational books are available on Amazon.

"Journey Well" is a book about resilience, strength, courage and how we are able to journey well no matter what conditions life hands to us. I profile the people who are Boston Stronger and share how 4/15/13 was a wake up call to me to return to my healing path from contracting paralytic polio at age 5 and 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent.



50% of all book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica where people of all ages and abilities achieve higher function and fitness through high challenge sports and training.

Wisdom from the Robin

Amidst the falling snow, a robin perched on what I affectionately call my little tree outside of my office window. My little tree has deep, strong roots and has weathered every major storm since we moved to our house almost 20 years ago. Its branches are deceptively fragile in appearance yet it can hold the weight of any bird that chooses to light there.



Here in New England we are braving a series of snowstorms that has gridlocked traffic, closed businesses and schools and wreaked havoc with everyone's routine. The ground was bare until just a few weeks ago and as we turned the corner into February we believed that we were heading toward Spring home free in terms of snowfall for the winter. Mother Nature always has a mind of her own. There will be no shortage of water in our reservoirs once warmer weather returns that's for sure and each of us is learning soul lessons as we move through these moments.

The robin isn't always a harbinger of Spring. If there is adequate food in the area, robins won't migrate. They are here to help us through the winter!

From Spirit Animals:Robin:

If Robin has flown into your life;

He signifies stimulation of new growth and renewal in many areas of life. He teaches that any changes can be made with joy, laughter and a song in your heart. Robin shows you how to ride the winds of passion within your heart and become independent and self reliant through this change. Robin will teach you how to move forward with grace, tenacity, perseverance and assertion. Are you letting go of personal dramas? Ones that no longer serve your higher purpose? Are you exercising compassion and patience in mental, spiritual and emotional areas? Robin will teach how to incorporate new beginnings with faith and trust in the process. It is time to believe in yourself and use the inspiration that is given. Listen carefully. It is time to sing your own song for a new period in your life.

If Robin is your Animal Totem:

If Robin is your personal animal totem you have the ability to will new growth into your life at any given moment. All you have to do is make a wish, be patient, and watch how it comes true. You have the ability to find contentment in all types of circumstances and find pleasure in the simple things in life.

Robins teach us how to weather the storm and to manage conflict and adversity with a song. Did you know that male robins immersed in territorial disputes sing to each other?




It's often a challenge to see beyond the falling snow and the piles of snow that are already on the ground and remember that Spring will come again. It's easy to fuel our fears and doubts and frustrations bracing against what is rather than surrender to Mother Nature's offerings.

Let's harness the wisdom from the robin knowing that with patience, faith and trust, that all will be well; that we can navigate these storms with grit and determination making the best we possibly can out of the situation focusing on gratitude for our homes, for our food. Like the robin that flies in the face of the storm, we get to discover our strength and courage and trust that Grace is happening. As the robin lands with faith and confidence on my little tree, so too can we allow ourselves to land with confidence in this moment, knowing we are being supported by the Unseen Hand of Love.

Journey well!

"Journey Well" and all of my inspirational books are available on Amazon.

"Journey Well" is a book about resilience, strength, courage and how we are able to journey well no matter what conditions life hands to us. I profile the people who are Boston Stronger and share how 4/15/13 was a wake up call to me to return to my healing path from contracting paralytic polio at age 5 and 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent.



50% of all book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica where people of all ages and abilities achieve higher function and fitness through high challenge sports and training.

"All you need is faith, trust and a little pixie dust." - Reflections on Grace

In recent posts I touched on the devastating effects of having contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5 and living in a dysfunctional family. While it was incredibly challenging for me, polio opened the portal to a world where I felt the protection and love from the realm of Spirit.

As I share an excerpt from my memoir "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility," in "Journey Well":

My connection to something greater than myself began at the age of 5 years old:

As I lay on the couch, my mother glared at me smoking a cigarette. I had to go to the bathroom but I knew better than to ask her. I learned that I had to wait until my father or grandfather came home to be toileted. I had a vision. This beautiful Being with a flowing white beard appeared. A hand was extended to me to climb into a well bucket only there was no hand. I climbed into the well bucket even though I lay paralyzed on the couch. I was reeled up to meet this Being and then I returned to my paralyzed body. I knew that somehow I was going to make it through this mess. I saw this Being everywhere I looked. I saw the Being in my storybook. Whether my eyes were open or closed this Being was with me. Guardian Angel? or hallucination from the fever and pain of polio? I cast my vote for Guardian Angel that was there to protect me. Despite the emotional and physical pain, the abject terror I was experiencing, somewhere within me I felt peace and comfort. I regained movement of my right arm and leg but my left arm and leg remained paralyzed. At least I could wiggle around a little on the couch and could hold my books. Here I was with this cold, angry, rejecting woman smoking a cigarette who would not and could not touch me, waiting for my father or grandfather to come home to meet my basic needs. Despite the precarious predicament I was in, I had a sense of safety. This was my first of many experiences of being touched by grace.

Despite or maybe because of everything that happened to me, I trust in a Force far greater than the human part of my Being and a Force that is pure love and light that is in my Being.

It's a miracle that I always held onto hope and possibility and that I believe in the magic, mystery and mysticism that is available to us.

Last week we were blessed to witness that touch of grace and the magic and mysticism in the Universe as we solved the Boston Marathon Medal Mystery. Its timing is not lost on me.

On January 5, 2015, the trial of Tsarnaev is scheduled to begin. There was a wonderful editorial in last week's Globe about a possible outcome that would spare the survivors, the City and the government time and money. In Tsarnaev trial: Let's not relieve the marathon bombings, Nancy Gertner, Michael B. Keating and Martin F. Murphy, three lawyers, pose the question,

Why can’t the Boston Marathon bombing trial be like that?

It takes both sides — the government and the defense — to agree. The defendant has to agree to plead guilty, and the government has to agree to accept a sentence of life imprisonment without parole, like it did with the Unabomber, the Olympic Park bomber, and many others who committed acts of violence in which people were killed and injured.

This community’s response to the Marathon attacks set an example of courage and unity for the nation and the world. Now we’re reaching the last chapter. That chapter doesn’t have to be one of bitterness, division, and re-traumatization. This is our city, as David Ortiz said in the first Red Sox game after the bombing, and what happens over the next several months will have a deep and abiding impact on all of us. Wouldn’t it be better if the Justice Department and Tsarnaev’s defense attorneys got past the legal technicalities and found common ground? Let’s write a last chapter that guarantees just punishment for Tsarnaev while putting the victims and the community at the center of the legal system’s concerns.

It is my fervent prayer, hope, intention that we are able to experience the writing of the final chapter in a way that would truly honor the memories of those whose lives were lost, and help the survivors to heal.

But no matter what happens, I know that all we need to make it through is faith, trust, a little pixie dust, a whole lot of grace and each other.

Journey well!


"Journey Well" available on Amazon, is a book about resilience, strength, courage and how we are able to journey well no matter what conditions life hands to us. I profile the people who are Boston Stronger and share how 4/15/13 was a wake up call to me to return to my healing path from contracting paralytic polio at age 5 and 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. I am thrilled that Sollievo Massage and Bodywork is hosting the Book Release Party for "Journey Well" on January 10th from 5:30-7:30pm.





50% of book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica where people of all ages and abilities achieve higher function and fitness through high challenge sports and training.

The Miracle of Healing

Some people believe that going for a massage is a luxury. For me it's a necessity and a critical component of my health and wellness training plan. 90 minutes each week at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork is a time for meditation; to reflect on where I've been and how I've arrived at this moment and what I can do to find greater ease, comfort and peace in my body and in my life. It's an opportunity to heal mind, body and Spirit and as one heals, we all heal. The moments of peace I experience during the treatment ripple out into the Universe.

I become more and more aware of how I live in my physical body; a body I once loathed and lugged around with me. It was what I needed to do in order to survive. Through the treatments of these past 8+ months, fighting for my life and being at odds with my physicality transformed into awareness of how I still struggle in parts of my body. Two weeks ago, I became aware of the need to surrender and to experience perfection in all that is as it was and as it is in this moment now.





Because of the events of domestic violence three years after contracting paralytic polio, my neuromuscular system did not have the opportunity to fully recover from paralytic polio. The miracle is that I now have the opportunity to heal. I experienced the simple pleasures of pouring a pot of tea and last Sunday ate soup with a calm hand. The miracle is that despite all the ugliness I witnessed of the darkest side of humanity; despite all the pain and suffering I endured, I experience the beauty and love that is in the world. Even though I had encountered three rather unethical and unprofessional "bodyworkers", I dared to trust one more time and found my way to Joseph's healing hands and heart, and to Laura and Rose, the loving, caring and tender co-owners of Sollievo.

I'm taking the winter to be very kind to my body and giving myself the opportunity to heal from polio. I'll be cross training on my recumbent bike and taking advantage of Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding to build strength. I'm using the high quality self-care products from Sollievo to take care of my skin this winter and to nourish myself after a run in the cold with a hot epsom salt bath.

The healing cadence of Dr. Seuss got me through those intense physical therapy sessions when I was 5 years old until I was a teenager. When my body shut down 8 years ago after years of neglect, I returned to the healing cadence of Dr. Seuss only now I was the one holding the pen. My pen is my divining rod for healing and interestingly enough, recently, my style of free verse has returned to the cadence of Dr. Seuss in these two poems:

Surrender

Surrender and heal unpack the bags of the past
surrender, let go, feel free
struggles be gone, there’s too much to do
let energy flow, it’s time to be me.
A woman of strength, courage and fierce
I had to fight my way to get to where I am today
time to take off the gloves, stop working so hard
be soft and gentle, let love light the way.
Nothing to prove, nothing to do
there’s no more time to waste
let fear be gone as ghosts disappear
all the demons have now been faced.
Surrender and heal my new mantra for peace
my body can now heed the call
with help from an earth angel healer
we rewind to that moment when I first took the fall.
Surrender and heal, let joy and possibility flow
everything’s perfect right here and now
let angels surround and be the guides
they’ll lead the way to the how.
To feel whole and balanced in my earthly home
my river of life, my beautiful chi
unceasingly easily flowing
for the first time in my life no more braces I’m free!

Transformation

Mary, Mary had to be contrary
they wouldn’t let her garden grow
she held on tight as they tried to snuff out her light
she kept her Spirit safe, sheltered aglow.
A moral dilemma should she fight or leave
she knew darkness could never win
no more destruction let peace prevail
a new day she can now begin.
With deep breaths of healing, a new rhythm of life
one with ocean, the earth and stars
the ugliness pales, perfection can shine
and all that remains a few scars.
Mary, Mary no longer contrary
her blue eyes gentle, wise an ageless soul
all the events once held in her flesh flushed out
only love remains Mary’s now whole.
Mary, Mary so innocent and pure
no longer alone and in fear
a message of healing she brings to the world
journey well she wants all to hear.
May others discover this message of hope
Mary carries her message as a torch for life
courage and kindness, compassion and love
forgiveness the cure for all the world’s strife.
Her heart is so thankful that she made it through
let everyone’s garden grow wild and free
each sentient Being find their way home
to Be the person that they were always meant to Be.

What miracles do you see happening in your life?




"Journey Well" is available in Paperback and Kindle edition on Amazon 50% of book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica


We are having a Book Release Party on January 10th from 5:30-7:30pm at the birthplace of Journey Well, Sollievo Massage and Bodywork, 2285 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA. Hope you can join us if you are in the greater Boston area.