Last night during my meditation before falling asleep I had this sharp pain go through my left leg. 'Oh no,' was my first thought, 'I'm injured again' and then I got still. I had a conversation with my body and allowed the flashback to polio and reconstructive leg surgery to flow. I've often experienced flashbacks to the pain of polio in my left leg and been able to ride its wave but in the wake of last December's knee injury, I panicked but only for a moment.
I remembered these two quotes:
I smiled. I breathed. I relaxed and I celebrated feeling deep gratitude for all that I do have. I reminded myself of the power of the healer within me and I told myself that the grip of fear came from the 5 year old within me whose body collapsed and stopped functioning with no warning; I allowed the memories from the reconstructive leg surgery for which I was awake using epidural spinal for anesthesia to flow. I told myself I'm safe and blessed by knowing my healer within, partnering with people who are healers in my life and feeling the love and support of my village whose love is powerful medicine. I played with imagery and visualization going to my favorite place the beach to allow the sun, the sand and the salt water to bathe me in healing waters. I saw my knee as healthy and used the laser vision of my 3rd eye to clear out the debris in the joint. I allowed the congested energy from the painful experiences of the past and residuals from polio, surgery and violence to wash through me imagining a lavage of light and love to clear the path in its wake. After I allowed the hot, searing pain to flow, I noticed that my left leg and actually both legs felt lighter and there was a sense of ease in my legs.
I also wondered why it's so easy to go to those mind games that involve fear, intimidation, or unworthiness and why we have to work so hard to flip on the switch of joy, strength, confidence, healing, hope, knowing all is well and allowing, as Thich Nhat Hahn says in this beautiful quote that appeared on my Facebook News Feed this morning, all good things to bloom:
It takes practice, practice, practice to be able to execute mind games that foster health, happiness, joy, gratitude, excitement and allow creativity and inspiration to flow.
Last night, rather than allowing the pain and fear to grip my body, mind, heart and soul, I played detective to find the source of the physical and emotional pain I experienced. I allowed my energy to flow by steadying my breath and calming my mind reminding myself to Trust and have Faith; that, to quote the healer Jack Gray, "I am a child of God. Everything I need to heal is inside of me. Healing this leg is no big problem."
Nor is healing all of the things that happened to me...but it takes practice, patience, persistence and pacing and figuring out what treatments, therapies, workouts best serve me at any given time. I choose where to put my energies and make sure that every choice I make is supporting healing, vibrancy, vitality and thriving in the wake of all that I experienced.
And it takes mind games to harness the power of all that is right and true and good within me - that delicious Divine Energy, pure love and light to support my body as it heals. I surround myself with like-hearted and like-minded people who can support the mind games I like to play and I make sure that I am the guardian and the gate keeper of positive, healthy, life affirming healing thoughts. I am reminded of a quote from Dave McGillvray, "My game. My rules." I get to play this hand that I've been dealt with finesse, success, joy, and exhilaration as I train for the 2016 Newport Marathon to raise money and awareness for the Arredondo Family Foundation.
Be blessed. Journey well. To all good things....
My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.
When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.