One of my friends on Facebook started a thread asking about people's words for 2018. It's one word that sets the tone for the year. The first word that came to me was INTENTION.
I've been doing the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza on and off for the past 3 years - ever since a serious knee injury led me to a beloved chiropractor healer, Ryan J. Means, DC who told me I HAD to read Dr. Joe's book, "You Are The Placebo." I extricated myself from a toxic situation that was consuming a lot of my time and repeating the patterns of my past on July 4th of this year. Since then I have rededicated myself to my healing journey and been doing the work on a more regular basis with more passion, commitment and yes intention.
I remembered a poem I wrote shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome. I was diagnosed 11 years ago and in February of 2007, poetry began pouring out of me inspiring me to heal mind, body and soul, creating my future self.
It's in "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life" available on Amazon:
During a meditation, the image of a pinball machine came to mind. I played pinball as a child and remembered the feeling of when the flippers connected with the ball and all the lights, bells and whistles went off. But for years I was used and abused by many. I made the conscious shift from victim to a free soul with:
The Pinball Machine
Put in the quarters feel the flippers I can now take hold
feeling in control more valuable than gold
for many years that little ball bouncing from side to side
racking up points for others and risking my own hide.
Now I’m the only one who plays the game of life is mine
to win I feel my freedom and let my Spirit shine.
This poem from the next page jumped out at me:
It is easy to succumb to a diagnosis. There are many well documented cases of a person dying exactly when a doctor predicted they would. In one case, cited by Dr. Joe Dispenza in You Are The Placebo, a man believed that he had terminal cancer when on autopsy there was no indication of cancer anywhere in his body. He believed what the doctors told him and his body acted on those beliefs even though it was not the cancer that caused his death but his belief about the cancer. We embody what we believe and so I had to make a choice and I decided on:
A Well Chosen Path
PPS, MS, cancer stroke and more
many diagnoses exist in the doctor’s store
does diagnosis shape and a cripple does it make
or do I use the pain to choose the path I want to take?
No matter what the outcome there’s no way I can fail
for when I take the hand of God through adversity I sail.
The body is imperfect but my soul is shining free
there’s never any limit to the true essence of me.
I get in tune and get in step knowing every limb is healed
running wildly with the wind embracing flowers in the field.
I love myself beyond all words a message says to live
and from my open grateful heart to others do I give.
I've started writing poetry again and I love feeling the connection to myself and to Source within and around me as I write poetry and prose. I am creating "The Adventures of Runnergirl1953" the 3rd and next book in what I never set out to be a series of books about my healing journey.
Two weeks from today Team McManus is leaving for Bermuda to have a well earned and much needed vacation after these past 3 years. Ruth Anne has suffered from severe depression and PTSD that resulted in 6 hospitalizations, numerous med trials, adverse reactions to meds and her almost ending her life last Spring. I was working on my own healing and while I made strides in moving forward in healing the effects of paralytic polio and trauma that manifested in the guise of Post-Polio Syndrome, I was still very much stuck in the patterns from my past. We are each moving forward going the distance in our healing, in our lives and on the roads!
We have trained hard and we have trained well.
With intention we will be running side by side, stride by stride taking it one mile at a time along the Bermudaful Half Marathon course.
It's time for me to write the next chapters of my life overflowing with gratitude, joy, peace, love, creativity, health and wellness...faith in the working out of all things for the highest good leaving my old self behind.
Leave the Old Self Behind
From worrier to warrior to one who is a beast
Transformed from meek and mild who felt she was the least.
At 5 years old you took my hand although no hand to hold
If you decide to choose this life there will be treasures to behold.
The dark night of the soul I’ve known and choices came from pain
The old self behaviors from those I now refrain.
A new song stirs within my heart joy and love now fill my soul
They tried to beat and break me now I’m free and healed and whole.
The old self tried to fix and mend and tend to others strife
The new me binds my own wounds others journeys are their life.
Compassion kindness gratitude inspiration light my way
Fellow travelers like hearted come along and join my play.
The future is my present the past now cleansed with light
Leaving my old self behind all hope and healing now in sight.
Affirming my Divinity my birthright now I name
Never to be robbed again my life I now reclaim!
While New Year's Eve is right around the corner, I am not waiting for a New Year to set goals and create my life. As we count down to Bermuda, I am busy writing the next chapters of my life.
From my heart to yours,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
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