Believing is Seeing: Patience, Persistence and Parking Spaces

On Mondays and Thursdays I go to WaveHealth Fitness for swimming and massage. I tell myself that I will always find a metered or handicapped parking space. The one Monday I did not find a parking space, I had conversations which the Universe wanted and needed me to have which would not have happened if I would have found a metered or a handicapped parking space. Now one word about using my handicap placard ... I see it is a Universe Residential Parking Permit. Being able to park and not worry about feeding the meter is a wonderful gift that I accept with a grateful heart.

There used to be many more parking spaces in the Seaport area. Meters have been covered and construction took away a whole row of parking spaces. When there are concerts at the Bank of America Pavillion, parking spaces are at a premium. Yet despite this apparent lack of abundance of parking spaces, I see things differently.

Yesterday as I was driving around looking for a parking space before my massage therapy appointment with Jeff, I saw people pulling out of parking spaces and then another car pulling right up and taking the space a few feet in front of me. This happened several times and I just kept repeating my mantra, there is an abundance of parking spaces. I drove down different streets I usually don't drive down looking for parking widening my search.

A car pulls out across the street but just after I had turned around another car was ready to take its place.

I did not relent in my belief and stayed calm and connected to the Source of all things. I knew that there was a reason this was happening. Reading Candace Pert's book, "Everything you need to know to feel Go(o)d" reminds me of this important message over and over again.

A car pulls out on the other side of the street. I do my U turn and just as I thought someone else had pulled into it, it appeared before my very eyes. It was big enough for a mac truck. I parked and said thank you out loud to the Universe. I noticed something very important about how I was feeling. I felt a deep sense of appreciation for the space because I had to wait for it and experience faith and trust without seeing any evidence that there was an abundance of parking spaces; quite the opposite.



My whole journey during these past 8+ years has been about faith, patience and persistence. I had a lot of soul lessons to learn as I walked a long and winding road to where I am today.

And despite all appearances to the contrary especially after my knee injury last December, I know that total healing is now mine to claim.

Just like I knew I needed to be patient and persistent and not pull into a paid parking lot yesterday, I knew and know that I need to be patient and persistent with my healing. I must say though there is a lot of momentum happening now as I use the skills and tools from my dear friend and healer/chiropractor Dr. Ryan J. Means, keep a regular meditation schedule with Tom, keep a mindful eye on my thoughts and choices and work out with the utter belief and conviction that I have completely healed. I am a runner. I run unencumbered. I run swift and I run a 12:00 minute mile. I have a whole healthy strong left leg healed from polio and surgeries. I have a strong, healthy and vibrant neural net that is nourished by good food, good thoughts and my training. I feel incredible joy and gratitude to know that believing is seeing and the Universe is orchestrating this beautiful symphony we call life.



I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


"Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," my latest collection of inspirational poetry is now available soon on Amazon

My Running Chronicles: Synchronicity

Synchronicity is a concept created by psychiatrist Carl Jung, which holds that events are "meaningful coincidences" if they occur with no apparent causal relationship, yet seem to be meaningfully related.

Candace Pert wrote in her book, 'Everything you need to know to feel Go(o)d' that Deepak Chopra told her that the more you meditate, the more you will notice and experience synchronicity happening in your life.

On Saturday as we came to the end of our 5.5 mile training run for the Bermuda Marathon Weekend,


I visualized the finish as we were coming up on our final hill. I was totally there and I created the scene for Tom. I told him who is going to be at the finish line including Vince Cann, Sundown and Kirk Dill who were members of the Blue Waters Anglers Club who we knew when we went to the Island and when they'd come up here to Falmouth to compete against Boston's Sea and Surf Anglers Club. When we met Stoker Smith at the Finish at the 50 Race Expo he thought that Vince might have passed on. When we skyped with him last week, he said that he would reach out and see if he was still around. I told him where he lived. By the way Vince lives in Warwick near Mike Douglas' house on the Island but I digress.

So I cried and had goosebumps seeing us at the finish line of the Bermuda Half Marathon. It was as though we were there and I could experience the sense of jubilation and exhilaration as well as the sights and smell of Bermuda.

After our training run, I got into my ice bath and had post run fueling with Blue Diamond Gluten free crackers with sesame seeds, an orange and water. I posted our run to Facebook via Nike+ and let myself enjoy the benefits of a post run ice bath feeling my body recover from the run in which we took of 24"/mile of our pace.

We relaxed the rest of the day and I worked on my book, "Going the Distance."

I remember what training for a marathon feels like and it's kind of like going through a pregnancy. Your body is changing and you get all sorts of cravings. Mine came in the form of mashed potatoes so we fixed mashed potatoes and barbecued chicken on the grill with a huge salad. I wanted a decadent dessert and we settled for a half of a Luna bar. We had been considering going out for dessert but something told me to just stay at home....

My phone rings just as we finished dinner. It's a Bermuda number - yup it was Vince! He didn't know what happened to us and said you just kind of disappeared from our lives. I briefly told him about my journey. He was so happy that we are coming back to the Island and said to give him a call as soon as we get in in January.

Not five minutes later, I receive a Skype call from Stoker! He told us that he used the phone book to find Vince once we told him where he lived. He said he was so happy to hear that McManus was fine and was coming to the Island. He was delighted that Vince called us and did not know it would happen so fast. He is going to make plans to meet up with Vince. He thinks they might have met before but now with the connection to us, he wants to reach out to him.

We talked with Stoker as though we have been friends for life. We talked about families, the race and Stoker's plans to return stateside to help out at the Falmouth Road Race Expo. He mentioned that the RD for Bermuda was heading to Maine for the Beach to Beacon 10K and would be meeting with Joan Benoit Samuelson to see if she'd come back to Bermuda to run the marathon in January.

The conversation was filled with magical moments and I just knew and felt in every fiber of my Being that the Divine has a hand in everything that is happening in my life now. Stoker told us that he is working on changing the marathon course from an out and back to one loop saying how you really can't ask volunteers to be out there for 6-8 hours while everyone finishes the race. He told us they have cups of water, bottles of water and gatorade available on the course. "It's a very relaxed atmosphere and few people come to actually race it." He told us one story of how he went to do a sweep of trash and people making sure everyone was fine out on the course if they still wanted to finish and was very distressed that he couldn't find a couple of runners who had registered for the race. He found them in a restaurant enjoying a meal and they had decided to ditch the race. I usually have so much anxiety going into a race that I have not run before but Stoker put me completely at ease. I know it is going to be an absolutely amazing experience to be running my first 13.1 since running Boston in 2009 on that beautiful island of Bermuda.



The Universe is orchestrating a beautiful symphony for my life. Ahh the sweet sounds of synchronicity!

I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.


"Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," my latest collection of inspirational poetry is now available soon on Amazon

My Running Chronicles: There is magic in my running shoes!

The alarm went off on Tuesday morning. Tom and I set the meditation timer for 20 minutes. I could feel the heat and humidity in mind and body. I had a wonderful meditation setting my intentions for the day, feeling the love and peace in our home and reminding myself that everything is rewired; everything is healed. A part of me wanted to go back to sleep for another hour or two at least but it was time to get up and greet the day.

The heat made our plank challenging this morning and I'd also done a kick ass workout in the pool at WaveHealth yesterday. I wanted to cave literally and figuratively but instead I used my breath knowing that I am going the distance and nothing can stop me now. 2:20 plank done.

We decided to go downstairs where it was cooler to do our 50 crunches and 10 weighted clams.

Hydration, a piece of toast and a banana; don the running clothes and lace up the running shoes and out the door we go.

I suggested to Tom that we take a different route that would give us more shade. It would also give us more hills but that was the trade off.

It would have been easy to have taken an easy 3 miles and not done speed work given the heat and humidity but something was fired up inside of me and I wanted to do what we planned to do for our training run. During my meditation I practiced my mantra: I run unencumbered. I run swift. I run a 12:00 minute mile. I told Tom after we ended our meditation that I wanted to do a 14:00 minute mile today.

Tom looked at me and said, "You run unencumbered. You run swift. You run a 14:00 minute mile."

I felt the magic in my running shoes to sweep away any doubts in my ability to run and run swift.

First mile had a downhill and then a fairly long uphill. We took a water break at mile 1 with a split of 15:38.

We totally improvised our route as we went along going into the back roads near the Brookline Country Club; a beautiful scenic shaded route with rolling hills and beautiful flowers. I pushed my pace and ran a 15:11 second mile although I sprinted at the end and Tom caught a glimpse on my Nike+ of a 12:14 pace.

We stopped at mile 2 for another water stop. Sweat was pouring off of me and I noticed something quite remarkable.

When I run in the heat, my body used to overheat fairly quickly and I'd feel this heat behind my face through my forehead. The thermostat had been tampered with by the polio virus. But today, even though it was easily one of the hotter and more humid days we ran in, instead of feeling that overheating sensation, I poured sweat. My thermostat is fixed!!!



I felt strong, confident and unstoppable feeling the heal in every fiber of my being.

Our 3rd mile began with a downhill and I took every advantage of it knowing that we had a huge uphill to finish our run.

I couldn't talk while we ran; a sure sign that I was leaving nothing on the roads yesterday morning.

I dug deep. I knew that every step I took was bringing me one step closer to resounding success in the Bermuda Half Marathon in January. We took one quick water stop before surging up the hill to our finish.

My pace - 14:18 - a negative 53' split!

My plank was shaky. I was tired and it was hot and humid. Yet once I laced up my running shoes, I felt the magic. And I felt the power of the mantra, "I AM the Placebo," from the works of Dr. Joe Dispenza.

And I felt the total love and intention from my partner in life and on the roads as he ran and sweated with me side by side and stride by stride to achieve an overall pace of 15:07 today with hills, heat and humidity.



The Thoroughbred

A dark horse
dark past
finishing last
ready to quit
battered and bruised
a foal fouled
yet Spirit unbroken
a thoroughbred deep inside
despite appearances
all she needed was a chance
someone to believe in her
a horse whisperer
in the mist
amidst fog and foliage
she runs
breaking free
transformed
into the champion she was always meant to be.



I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


"Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," my latest collection of inspirational poetry is now available soon on Amazon

My Running Chronicles: Nothing Can Stop Me Now!

During my meditation on Sunday I was starting to feel a little anxious about these next miles on my healing odyssey. What if's and doubts started to surface. I told myself, "You are a runner. Everything is healed. Everything is rewired. The more you do, the more your body will respond to the messages of confidence and strength and will do everything it needs to do to get stronger. Here is your schedule: Run long...strength train ... swim and strength train in the pool ... run short for speed and hills ... strength train. Recover for two days.

And then this song came into my thoughts:


Nothing CAN stop me now as long as I keep my thoughts focused on health, well-being and fully embracing and embodying myself as an endurance runner; feeling the incredible power in partnering with the Divine Mind within me to clear the energy from the past, sticking to my plan knowing my body can rise to the occasion.

I knew that Tom and I needed to tweak our strength training plan as we increased miles. I wanted to do it from a place of well strength and not fear.

On Sunday, we turned to our dear friend and Coach Reno Stirrat's website Distance Running Tips. I had instinctively ordered ankle weights to decrease repetitions and maximize strengthening those all important quad muscles and hip flexors. Tom and I reviewed the videos that Reno has posted on his website and got to work.

It was so funny to see how I had a moment's pause before doing straight leg lifts on the floor with an ankle weight. I smiled and reminded myself that my mind and body need to work together for me to go the distance this time and finally cross the river of change as Dr. Joe Dispenza calls it in "You Are the Placebo."

And you know what? This time I am going the distance. I have everything in place mind, body and Spirit and will be vigilant when thoughts and feelings express doubts and fears and replace them with knowing and believing in every fiber of my Being that this time, total healing is mine to claim. I've worked hard for it. I deserve it. It is my birthright and the Universe has blessed me with everything I need. I am surrounded by a village of believers who know as I know that nothing can stop me now!

Get you gone, you sky of grey!
Farewell, you furrowed brow!
Now my future's crystal clear!
No more woe for me to fear!
I'm gonna stand this world upon its ear -
And I'll succeed somehow!

I'll walk a million miles
For life's full of smiles.
Nothing can stop me now!



I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


"Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," my latest collection of inspirational poetry is now available soon on Amazon

Feel the Heal: A is for Amazing

Since I am a wordsmith, during one of my recent morning meditations, I began playing with the alphabet expressing Love, gratitude and joy. It took a couple of weeks to craft this poem in which every line begins with a letter of the alphabet and it was a delightful process of feeling close to the Divine within me:

A is for Amazing

A is for amazing awake aware alive
B is for God’s bounty unbounded for us to thrive.
C is for contagious spreading love in all we do
D is for delicious decadent Divine uniquely you.
Everything is perfect in God’s mysterious wondrous way
Finding faith and trusting beckon friends to come and play.
Growing in God’s likeness in gloriousness we shine
Happiness and harmony life is blissful fancy fine.
I AM all that I’m meant to be your blessed beloved child
Jackpot won in lottery of life on Your family You’ve always smiled.
Knocking on your kingdom’s door of my life You’re always a part
Laughter, loving, lusciousness treasure in my heart.
Meditation in the stillness moving ever closer to You
Needing nothing when You’re near always sees me through.
Observing without judging allowing everything to Be
Patience practice persistence with You I’m running free.
Questioning and querying no need for asking why
Rest assured there is a purpose dry my tears no need to cry.
Synchronicity serendipity surrender is a must
Thankful for this life we live based in faith and trust.
Universal Love unconditional showers upon us all
Vowing to let you be my Guide to catch me if I fall.
Welcome grace’s blessings cup our hands let it rain
X-ray vision You see through us easing all our pain.
Yoda’s wisdom now resounding trust the Force wield saber’s light
Zealous in our purpose Spirit soaring now takes flight!

I am delighted to be able to share my healing odyssey and my gift of poetry with you in this latest anthology of my poems.



You can purchase your copies along with "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility," and "Journey Well" on Amazon. I have already started writing poems for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume II", and "Going the Distance" which chronicles these latest miles on my marathon of healing from my knee injury last December to when I cross the finish lines of the Bermuda Half Marathon in January 2016 and the Newport Marathon in October.

Cheers! To Life! Feel the heal and let us all love ourselves well!

Feel the Heal: #tbt Running the Race

From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":




It was a cold, dark day in February 2007. I sat in a leg brace, using a wheelchair at times for mobility. I faced a grim and uncertain future as the doctors handed down the decree of the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. They told me that if I had any hope of stabilizing the disease where it was, I would have to quit my full time award-winning career as a VA social worker three years shy of when I was eligible for retirement. It was a no brainer. I knew I had to take a leap of faith and leave my career. But what’s a social worker to do after almost 25 years? She opens her heart to the cadence of Dr. Seuss that brought her so much comfort during the painful physical therapy sessions as she recovered from paralytic polio. This is the first poem I penned. Bear in mind, I had never run a day in my life.

Running the Race

Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
everyone around me filled with nervous fear.
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
the polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.

Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
it tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
with no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn’t pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp, everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
suffered in silence, alone and afraid tried to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team and they were on my side.

Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
for the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body-creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

Writing this poem foreshadowed my running of the 2009 Boston Marathon!

Christmas 2007:


Running the race - the 2009 Boston Marathon-coming down Commonwealth Avenue toward the finish:


Feel the heal!

I am delighted to be able to share my healing odyssey and my gift of poetry with you in this latest anthology of my poems. You can purchase your copies along with "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility," and "Journey Well" on Amazon. I have already started writing poems for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume II", and "Going the Distance" which chronicles these latest miles on my marathon of healing from my knee injury last December to when I cross the finish lines of the Bermuda Half Marathon in January 2016 and the Newport Marathon in October.

Cheers! To Life! Feel the heal and let us all love ourselves well!

Feel the Heal: Gratitude

Bernie Siegel, MD or Bernie as he likes to be called has been my chosen dad and rebirthing coach through many phases of my healing journey dating back to the 1980's when I was hospitalized with a staph infection in my shoulder joint. After finding myself in a mess with my mind, body and soul crying out for healing in December of 2006, I remembered how Bernie talked about the importance of gratitude and seeing every challenge as a blessing if one is going to heal their life.

One of my early poems was:

The Gift of Polio

Thank you God for the gift of polio that brought me so close to you
while paralyzed I saw your face no matter what I’d do
Many wonderful healers you sent them to me at age 5
perseverance and triumph life’s lessons learned
but my Spirit could not yet thrive.

At age 53 the gift was sent to me a second time
having time to sit and feel to heal I started to rhyme.
The second time felt worse than the first
yet your love and wisdom I found
out of pain and weakness and fatigue a remarkable spirit rebound.

Reliving all the trauma of special shoes and such
I discovered remarkable healers who brought a loving touch.
I had no clue I had such strength and the ability to grow
no matter what the outcome deep gratitude I show.

This gift so precious I live a new life gratitude flows from me
my heart and soul are filled with grace each day’s a gift from thee.

More recently, I wrote this poem that came to me during a meditation when I felt goosebumps of gratitude:

Gratitude Tingles

Heart opens in quiet eyes are closed gratitudes trickle then flow
the basics a home, good food and love awareness begins to grow.
Each beat of my heart reminds me I’m a miracle of life
grace showers constantly upon me relieving alleviating strife.

Goosebumps with each reflection every breath a moment to pause
gratitude tingles feel the warmth relaxing unclenching jaws.
Grateful to now be fully alive so blessed to be kissed awake
appreciation flows in every vein for granted nothing I take.

What joy there is in this journey let Spirit within ever reign
trusting in goodness and kindness erases all fear and pain.
Memory traces from the past pale and fade when facing Source
gratitude overpowers correcting direction on my life’s course.

In moments of meditation happiness joy and peace
from the depths of my soul a fountain grateful blessings increase.
Lips upturn into beautiful smile from head’s crown to tip of toes
gratitude tingles tickling trail of delight everywhere gratitude goes.

Living with an attitude of gratitude and forgiveness to those who hurt me have been the lynchpins in my marathon of healing.

Some days I feel ridiculously happy - so grateful to be alive:

Happy To Be Alive

Face to face with death at knife point
cold darkened eyes stare into mine
unflinching I stare back
afraid to move a muscle
already dead.

Life force safely tucked away
unknowing the outcome of this untimely encounter with death
at the hands of a madman
reasoning destroyed by gin and vermouth.

Angels intervene
he finds peace in death
I am left to put the pieces of my life back together again.
As numbness gives way to pain
pain gives way to gratitude
appreciation for this wondrous wonder filled life

where nothing makes sense and everything makes sense

purpose out of pain
grace in ungodly moments
surrounded by love
happy so happy to be alive

to tell the tale of one who almost died.

What are you grateful for? Do you live with an attitude of gratitude? When you do, you will feel the heal!

I am delighted to be able to share my healing odyssey and my gift of poetry with you in this latest anthology of my poems.



You can purchase your copies along with "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility," and "Journey Well" on Amazon. I have already started writing poems for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume II", and "Going the Distance" which chronicles these latest miles on my marathon of healing from my knee injury last December to when I cross the finish lines of the Bermuda Half Marathon in January 2016 and the Newport Marathon in October.

Cheers! To Life! Feel the heal and let us all love ourselves well!

Feel the Heal: Where It All Began

My small body sat in what seemed to me to be an over-sized dark mahogany chair with red leather padding on the seat that matched the color of my red polio shoes. I wore a long metal leg brace on my left leg that Miss Holly, my physical therapist tenderly removed to get me ready for yet another grueling physical therapy session to help my body heal from the ravages of paralytic polio.

"Called one of the lucky ones I had a 'mild' case
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace..." ... excerpt from "Running the Race"

To my left was a round table with a lamp on it and a selection of Dr. Seuss books scattered among the magazines.

"What would you like to read today?" Miss Holly asked.

"The Cat in the Hat."

No matter how many times I chose "The Cat in the Hat," Miss Holly honored my choice.

"The sun did not shine it was too wet to play..."

And after reading the final words "What would you do if your mother asked you?" she scooped me up and brought me into the physical therapy treatment room. As she put on hot woolen blankets and coaxed my muscles and nerves back to health, we would take turns reciting "The Cat in the Hat" line for line to distract me from the searing pain of the treatment.

From "Running the Race""
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
it tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
with no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn’t pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp, everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

In December of 2006, I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as Western Medicine defines it. As I was facing a rather grim future according to the doctors, I got still and asked God for guidance about helping me find my way out of the mess I was in where my mind, body and Spirit were slowly dying.

In February of 2007, my prayers were answered as I returned to the cadence of Dr. Seuss that had helped me to heal after the initial polio virus. That first poem I wrote, "Running the Race" foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run although I sat in a leg brace, used a wheelchair at times for mobility and faced a rather grim and uncertain future according to the doctors. But through poetry, I was creating a very different future than the one the doctors predicted for me.

I've been writing poetry ever since to inspire mind, body and Spirit to heal from having experienced horrific acts of 9 years of violence at the hands of family members shortly after coming out of my leg brace at the age of 8.

For the first time in these last 8+ years, I know in every fiber of my Being that total healing is mine to claim.

It's been a long and winding road that led me to Dr. Joe Dispenza's work through Dr. Ryan Means, a chiropractor who reminded me of everything I was writing about in my poetry and helped me begin to bring it into physical manifestation. When I told him I wanted to grow a new gastroc muscle, he used kinesiotaping to stimulate the new muscle growth.


He gave me exercises to build strength and cross train and education about self-care for runners. As important as everything he gave me in the physical world including spine adjustments that helped to release the trauma I held in my bones and posture, he gave me a renewed sense of hope and possibility. "Why set limits?" he asked me when I said that I would cap off my distance at 5 miles...why indeed?

My love for poetry and how it can heal all began in the physical therapy office of Dr. Eugene Moskowitz, MD in Mount Vernon, New York with a wise physical therapist reading Dr. Seuss to me when I was 5 1/2 years old.

Meeting a heaven sent healer, Dr. Ryan inspired the phrase feel the heal, and my latest book of inspirational poetry, "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life."

I am delighted to be able to share my healing odyssey and my gift of poetry with you in this latest anthology of my poems. You can purchase your copies along with "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility," and "Journey Well" on Amazon. I have already started writing poems for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume II", and "Going the Distance" which chronicles these latest miles on my marathon of healing from my knee injury last December to when I cross the finish lines of the Bermuda Half Marathon in January 2016 and the Newport Marathon in October.

Cheers! To Life! Feel the heal and let us all love ourselves well!

My Running Chronicles: I'm BAAACK and It Feels So Good!

Five miles in the Bank of Bermuda for the Bermuda Half Marathon that is happening in 181 days! Five miles! Team McManus mapped out a very challenging out and back on Beacon Street course with a lot of hills and elevation. It was warm and very humid but nothing could dampen our spirits as we build our mileage for first the half marathon and then going the distance a year from October at the Newport Marathon.



There is a sense of unbridled joy and freedom setting out for a long run. Today was one of those days when I wanted to run forever. I felt so amazing in my body and thoroughly embraced and enjoyed the challenge of the hills.

It's so wonderful to unplug and have time with my life and running partner Tom surrounded by green trees, feeling gentle raindrops tickle us and cool us off at times and having time to reflect and recap the week that's behind us. We visualize our upcoming races while relishing the joy of simply running.

There is nothing sweeter than the conversation you have while out running with your best friend - nothing.

During this morning's meditation, I had a realization that I used to celebrate my running accomplishments as a survivor of trauma and paralytic polio. Now I celebrate my running accomplishments as a runner.

This is the first time in my life that I am experiencing myself as a runner period, challenging myself while training my body to be healthy, strong, fit and experience wholeness and well being.

I can feel how cross training pays HUGE dividends especially when running on hills and I see and feel the transformation happening in my body. I have muscles and I experience the burn in those muscles knowing that my body has an incredible capacity to recover from a training run while also continuing to heal from paralytic polio and violence.

When I run and when I run long I am saying to my body, "I believe in you. We can go the distance together. Everything is healing and everything is healed. Running is our medicine that feeds mind, body and soul." Fears melt away with the sweat. Joy and happiness bubble up from the soul. Food tastes amazing after a run. I feel alive, vibrant, vital and optimistic. There is a natural high that happens from the very act of running and a sense of accomplishment that I set out to do 5 miles on this course and that is exactly what I accomplished.

I let go of any sense of a time goal today. I know that speed will come as I do speed work once a week with a 5K and also train in the pool to build cardiovascular endurance.

I can now feel in every fiber of my being that I am back to running - for good. I have a great team and training program in place now. Having the goal to #runbermuda #runhappy #letsdothis is infusing my training runs with such determination and joy.

It keeps getting better and better as I feel the heal mind, body and Spirit.

Five miles! Yup I am definitely back and it feels so good.





I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


Be on the lookout for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," available soon on Amazon


I am writing "Going the Distance," chronicling this miraculous phase of my healing journey on the road to the Bermuda Half and the Newport Marathon 2016.

My Running Chronicles: Planning for Success

Runners have a saying, "This sh** just got real." That's how I feel about my schedule of upcoming races.

While many couples may kick back and watch TV or a movie after work, Tom and I study course maps and map out our next training run.

Last night we zoomed in on the Bermuda Half Marathon course map:



We wrote out in our training journal the elevation and grade mile by mile. The beginning of the race is a downhill and it's going to be so tempting to go out fast but we are already mentally preparing ourselves for holding back on race day. I know I am going to feel like a filly at the gate standing on Front Street in Hamilton Bermuda just waiting to break free running my first half marathon since 2009 but we are going to be patient and pace ourselves.

The last time I stood on Front Street it was in the winter of 2006/2007. I was sporting black tie shoes with a toe up leg brace, using a cane when I walked and needing a wheelchair as I traveled through the airport:



I'll be standing on Front Street sporting these babies:


Next Saturday we will be running 5 miles. We are going to do an out and back down Beacon Street along part of the Boston Marathon course. We researched the elevation for that part of the Boston Marathon course and it matches the elevation for the Bermuda Half Marathon. The grade of hills may be steeper and there may be more rolling hills than on the Bermuda course so that will hold us in good stead. We are also training for Falmouth in the Fall and need lots of hill training.



We will also use the Spectacle Island run on 9/27th as a great training run for Falmouth in the Fall. It's an over hill over dale kind of course as we hit the dusty trail!

We also tweaked our schedule for workouts and runs. I realized that I was strength training 3 days in a row so we swapped a running day with a strength training day.

I ordered a theraband to increase resistance during clams to strengthen hip flexors and ankle weights to add resistance for straight leg raises in a chair.

Yup this sh** just got real. Six months from today we board that plane to that magical Island where I have many special memories and am excited to create new ones.

We are working out our training plan with diligence, intention and attention to detail. When I trained for the 2009 Boston Marathon, our trainer led us every step of the way because in truth we didn't know what we were doing. We are so blessed to be in the company of elite runners and coaches who can offer us advice and guidance as well as draw from our own experiences figuring out what works and doesn't work along the way. We are indeed planning for success!

Cheers! To life! To success!



I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


Be on the lookout for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," available soon on Amazon


I am writing "Going the Distance," chronicling this miraculous phase of my healing journey on the road to the Bermuda Half and the Newport Marathon 2016.

#WithCompassion Reconciliation Meditation

Give the Dalai Lama, who has dedicated his life to peace and kindness, the ultimate 80th birthday present: share how you will make the world a more compassionate place using #WithCompassion. The Dalai Lama is turning 80 years old on July 6, but he doesn't want any gifts.

A few years ago I wrote this poem about compassion: (which will be in the soon to be released Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life)
The Flower of Compassion

She takes root
this fragile flower
at heart center
tendrils travel
outstretched arms
a hand to hold
a gentle sigh
petals glisten with gentle tears
a warm knowing smile
beauty to behold
holding space
for the flower of compassion to bloom.



During my meditation the other day, I felt my heart open as I felt compassion for many people who have hurt me through the years. Shortly after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in what now seems like another life time, I wrote letters of forgiveness to both of my parents. My dad asked for our forgiveness in his suicide note and so it was easier to forgive him but I know how important forgiveness is to create peace and harmony within and in the world. It was more challenging to experience forgiveness for my mother and my grandmother and it had been very challenging for me to forgive people who I experienced during the past few years of my healing journey.

In the quiet of my mind and in the openness of my heart, I was able to experience their suffering for their treatment of me was clearly a manifestation of their own suffering. I did not set out to experience a reconciliation meditation, it just happened and Tom helped me to name it after I told him what I experienced.

With compassion, with a consistent meditation practice and having like-hearted, tender-hearted people be a part of my life now, my natural state of Being - joy, gratitude, compassion, LOVE, peace, contentment, laughter, vibrancy and wholeness rise to the center of my life. Anger, frustration, judgment and hurt settle like silt and no longer have power over me. It's a beautiful practice of settling down and settling in to my natural state of Being.

When we heal ourselves with love and compassion, when we practice reconciliation and forgiveness, we heal the world!

Happy Birthday HH Dalai Lama.

Cheers! To life! To compassion! To loving ourselves well and to feeling the heal.



You can find all of my inspirational books on Amazon.