During this morning's meditation I experienced peace and stillness. My body was quiet. My breath deep and full. This thought came to me:
Everything is healed and rewired. Flip the switch and watch me go...
It's so easy to focus on what is in the current physical reality but I felt a profound shift happen in my thoughts and experience this morning. Notice what you want and where you are going as I, to quote Dr. Joe Dispenza, "cross the river of change."
It's a little scary, a whole lot exhilarating and I felt tears run down my cheeks. Tears of gratitude, relief, release. Yes I am a child of God and just as a loving biological father loves his little girl, that's the Love that the Father has for me.
I felt it from the time I was 5 years old and lay paralyzed on the couch from paralytic polio with a drug addicted mother smoking a cigarette and glaring at me waiting for my biological father or grandfather to come home from work to attend to my basic needs.
I can feel all those wounds healed now and my body is rewiring itself.
I felt pulsing in my throat as wounds of oral rape and strangulation healed. I felt the tingling of new nerves growing along my spinal cord and throughout my cervical spine.
When once I felt blockages of energy from being pinned down during rape and grabbed and restrained during beatings, energy flowed down my arms.
I felt several poems spring from my soul and realized that I've begun to write Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume II. As I expand and heal and grow and transform, my poetry sings praises to the Divine within and around me and reflects and reinforces the healing process.
As I go about my day I notice and praise stillness imprinting this new Body and new way of Being rewiring with love.
As I put on mascara today, I kept repeating peace and stillness embracing and embodying me transformed. I gave loving and gentle support to my right hand and arm to steady it. Even though I am right handed, I lost use of my right arm for 6 months and had open shoulder joint surgery which cut muscles and nerves but it is just as easy to heal the effects of surgery as it is to heal anything. It's all about what I choose to believe.
While there may be particles of anxiety that go through me, I focus on the waves of the life Force and the waters become still again. Each time the episode doesn't last as long and I am able to harness the power of my mind to heal and rewire default responses to external circumstances. I remind myself that my body does not have a mind of its own; I am my body's mind and I am the captain of my fate. What a delicious voyage I am on now.
I realized that I was cheated out of childhood. I didn't have the freedom to run and be free because of paralytic polio and a bat shit crazy family. I always had Divine Protection otherwise I would not be here writing this blog and living my life. I am now keenly aware of the blessings and grace in my life both then and especially now. What a sweet life I now have!
During my strength training workout, I work on Theraband stabilizers that my beloved chiropractor, Dr. Ryan recommended for me.
First it's seeing how long I can balance on each leg and then it's standing for 10 minutes with eyes closed to balance.
Today I felt a shift from tremulousness to feeling my strength and even practicing martial arts in my mind's eye to disarm and take down my father. I could feel those delicious waves of spinal fluid flow and a sense of freedom and power and strength surge through me.
I increased reps of upper body strength training.
I know how incredibly blessed and grateful I am for the people now in my life. As I read the poems I wrote, I realize how I manifested my muscular therapist Jeff into my life. His strength, his compassion, his love, his being a devoted father to a 9 year old girl, his passion for life and activities like water skiing, triathlons, tough mudders have a wonderful and powerful healing effect on the cells of my body. His sense of humor, his connection to the Divine and unparalleled skill and knowledge as a practitioner of Eastern and Western modalities fuels my journey and helps me to finally gain traction and momentum in being able to heal everything. Each week he gives my body new delicious (and sometimes it hurts so good delicious) experiences to promote healing and create change.
How wonderful that Louise Hay's affirmation today was in sync with how I am feeling:
To add icing on the cake of a delicious start to the day, we met our friends Karen and Chris DiMare for brunch at 75 on Liberty. They were in town for last night's U2 concert and went to see Jeff for massages today. Back in May I posted on Facebook that we were going to watch What the bleep do we know.... and both Karen and Jeff commented on my post:
Karen DiMare Oh , I enjoyed it ! Hope you do too !
Jeffrey Spratt One of my favorites! ! Enjoy!
During brunch we talked about healing and going down the rabbit hole of all possibilities. Karen talked about planting seeds and watching them grow as I shared that I have grown a new gastroc muscle. Chris had surgery to remove a cyst from his spine that resulted in pre-operative paralysis. To remove it, they had to cut vertebrae and put in a metal rod. The doctors say there is no way the rod could ever be removed. I have been visualizing total healing for him during my meditation and that they would somehow be able to remove the hardware.
"Can you grow new vertebrae?" Chris and Karen pondered ...
"Hell I grew a new gastroc muscle. Anything is possible."
And so they are going to get out the DVD's of What the bleep do we know...and Down the rabbit hole and watch it again while we all tend to the seeds and the garden of our lives for healing, evolving and transformation. What a blessing that we all affirm each other's journeys with such love!
Here we are apres brunch at the Seaport waterfront area:
It's stunning to see my transformation from when we met for brunch in March:
Everything is healed and rewired. Flip the switch and watch me go ... claiming the change ... Being the change ... evolving and transforming ... feeling the heal in every fiber of my Being and sharing possibility with the world!
Cheers! To life! Love yourselves well!
Dancing Warrior from the soon to be released "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life". You can find all of my books on Amazon.
the heart of a warrior ready to battle darkness
no longer needing to stand her ground holding firm
with lightness of Being she dances
a dance of light
nimble no longer numb
flexible and easy
swift of foot to dart arrows
from those who want to pierce her soul
deflate her wonder filled life
where is the music
what does she hear
she hears her soul sing
the rhythm of her heartbeat
upturned lips with a knowing smile
the dancing warrior of love.