Thursday, October 8, 2015
And the day came....
Healing trauma takes incredible courage. It takes incredible courage to live through the traumatic events in the first place although we have amazing protective mechanisms that help us to survive. And then it takes raw courage to become vulnerable and face those events without those protective mechanisms.
Yes I know the Force is strong in this one otherwise I would have perished years ago.
I struggled and I hurt and I felt anxious and could not name or claim what was happening to me. I had so many blockages in my Chi - my life Force continuing to protect myself against events that happened to me decades ago.
While experiencing the reality that my family wanted me dead during a recent meditation, I experienced how amazing and awesome and Divine I am. I receive so much validation and affirmation of this reality every day and I am beginning to allow this reality to edge out what I have held in my body, my mind and my soul for decades.
While it is excruciating to experience all of what happened to me, it is incredibly liberating. I have almost full range of motion back in my left leg. I can experience my entire body and my entire Being as it was always meant to be experienced once I get through the muck and mire of the pain where everything happened. I am no longer afraid of feeling fear, rage, indignation that this could have happened to me - to anyone for that matter. I can experience the fullness of life.
While forgiveness is crucial for healing, freedom and moving forward
so too is being able to release the feelings of impotent rage that was trapped in the fiber of my Being. My journal and my divining rod of healing, my pen allow me to experience liberation from my past.
And the day came...and today was the day the culmination of many days when I could no longer hold everything tightly inside of me. It is time to grieve and allow those tears to water the beautiful garden of my soul and for me to blossom into my full potential. My heart is at once broken and healed. My energy can flow and every day I get stronger with new neuromuscular connections, new neurological connections and building new muscle through training and visualization and meditation.
And the day came...for me to shine!