This morning as Tom stood in the doorway of our bathroom and the door was slightly ajar, I said to him, "Watch this!"I got up off the toilet seat without holding on and without him needing to move out of the way so I could neurologically organize to get up off the toilet seat without using the sink to support me!
Three years ago I could not get out of a chair without using a support nor could I get off of a toilet seat without using the sink. I met Dr. Ryan J. Means after a very serious knee injury. I was an injury waiting to happen since I was pushing myself to PR race after race and was not doing any cross training or strength training. I also had not healed a lot of the residuals of paralytic polio and trauma in mind, body and soul. Dr. Ryan suggested exercises for me to do to grow a new gastroc muscle in my left "polio" leg and gave me a regimen of strength training exercises to do. He taught me the proper way to squat using the wall so I could get the neurological proprioception in place and fire up new neuromuscular connections that had been wiped out by polio and that couldn't regenerate because paralytic polio was followed by severe childhood abuse.
He turned me onto the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. I had been meditating ever since the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006 but combining Dr. Joe's work with the work of Dr. Bernie Siegel and partnering with Dr. Ryan in chiropractic care, I was on a powerful healing path. I realized that my difficulty in standing up was a result of the stuck memory of my father's violence when I tried to stand up or when he'd push me down hard into a chair. How liberating to be able to stand up with strength and courage for myself transforming into the person I was always meant to be.
I had difficulty organizing myself neurologically if there was anything in the line of my vision but not today. I cued myself with "Mind over matter" and stood up with ease.
I remember when I couldn't walk up the stairs in my house without clutching the bannister.
I remember when I didn't have the strength or energy to do grocery shopping and we used Stop and Shop's peapod.
I remember when I needed a leg brace and a cane and whenever I was going to walk for any distance, I needed a wheelchair.
I remember when everything hurt in my body and my muscles and nerves burned all the time.
I remember when I had to drink through a straw and use a chin tuck and dry swallow so I wouldn't aspirate my food.
I remember when I couldn't pass the initial evaluation from my personal trainer that I hired after completing outpatient treatment at Spaulding Rehab.
I remember when I declared I would run the 2009 Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital!
In February of 2007, I wrote poetry to inspire my mind, body and soul to heal. I remember how amazing I felt as I wrote poem after poem after poem imagining myself running free, unencumbered; dancing in the rain without my leg brace despite being in chronic pain and having doctors tell me that if I used it I would lose it.
What a journey this has been healing my life! Once I started to heal my heart and soul from my past, I was able to experience physical changes in my body. I experienced gratitude for my prayers being answered and for the gifts of polio and the violence and trauma I endured. I began to love myself and my life for the very first time in my life. It's a constant work in progress and a journey that I am deeply grateful to experience.
The other day I was at the pool at Boston Sports Club. The pool closed down unexpectedly when Tom and I were about to go for a swim on Sunday. We did the bike instead and I went back on Monday morning to swim. I noticed a woman staying close to the wall gingerly doing exercises. She asked me if she could share my lane just to go up and back. I was inspired to connect with her. She told me her story about when she had an episode of transglobal amnesia and the neurologist in the hospital noticed there was "something off." She went through a battery of tests and was told she had a rare genetic disorder along with osteoarthritis. I told her my story. I told her about my history, and how I ran 3 Bermuda Half Marathons in 3 years. I told her about the work of Bernie and Dr. Joe. She told me that her son is in medical school and he has been doing meditation. "He's really into the mind/body connection. He has been encouraging me to meditate but I just can't seem to "get it". I suggested one of Dr. Joe's videos on Youtube that is only a 17 minute meditation. "That seems so long," she said to me. I told her to just do it. She said that she was going to mention me to her son. The worst that can happen is she can heal. Her eyes filled with tears and hope. As we were getting ready to get out of the pool she said to me, "I just want to be able to walk."
I remember when that was my goal .... and I remember the days I prayed for the things I have now.
My heart overflows with gratitude and I continue to find joy and excitement in the journey of health, wholeness and well being.
To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours
Mary
Proud to be a part of Friends of Blue Diamond Athletic Displays, Inc.
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
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