The Gift of Polio
Thank you God for the gift of polio that brought me so close to you
while paralyzed I saw your face no matter what I’d do
Many wonderful healers you sent them to me at age 5
perseverance and triumph life’s lessons learned
but my Spirit could not yet thrive.
At age 53 the gift was sent to me a second time
having time to sit and feel to heal I started to rhyme.
The second time felt worse than the first
yet your love and wisdom I found
out of pain and weakness and fatigue a remarkable spirit rebound.
Reliving all the trauma of special shoes and such
I discovered remarkable healers who brought a loving touch.
I had no clue I had such strength and the ability to grow
no matter what the outcome deep gratitude I show.
This gift so precious I live a new life gratitude flows from me
my heart and soul are filled with grace each day’s a gift from thee.
from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life"
If you look at my Facebook posts about my weekly training cycles and photos of our weekly runs on the road to Bermuda Marathon Weekend, you would never know the challenges I face every day.
Shortly after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease by Western Medicine standards, I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul. In my poems I wrote about gratitude, being happy, healthy and whole, splashing in puddles and running unencumbered and free reclaiming my life from the thieves of childhood who tried to steal my life.
I knew that until I was grateful for everything that happened to me and embraced what happened to me as a gift, I was not going to be able to heal my life.
I used to feel and get physically stuck in my body. I would literally freeze in different moments throughout my day such as attempting to get off the toilet without leaning on the sink, freezing at the top of the stairs needing to grasp the banister and go down one step at a time and could not propriocept doing a squat. Those were a result of the severe childhood trauma I experienced coupled with having contracted the paralytic polio virus at age 5.
I met a chiropractor healer, Dr. Ryan J. Means, in early 2015 and all that began to change. Ironically it took a very serious knee injury and negative encounters with the providers I was working with at the time that brought me to Dr. Ryan's table. He prescribed Theraband Stabilizers, strengthening exercises and showed me how to do a squat at the wall loosening up my once frozen patterns combined with the art and science of chiropractic care.
I remember the day I just stood up from the toilet without needing to hold on to anything. It was a combination of creating a new neural net and strengthening the muscles I needed to use to perform such a simple act, yet for me one that reflected powerful healing happening in my mind, body and soul. And what joy I discovered when I could, gingerly at first, and then effortlessly bound down the front steps to my house without the bannister!
On Sunday, Team McManus went to the Wellesley Boston Sports Club to cross train. I worked out in the pool. I didn't see any steps to walk into the pool. I reminded myself how strong my arms are and easily and with confidence lowered myself into the pool. When it came time to get out of the pool, I went over to the steps ... only these steps were not the metal steps that give the space I need to climb out of the pool; these steps were built into the side of the pool.
As I got to the top step, there was a very narrow margin for me to navigate my way onto the deck. There was a big step from the top step to the deck. As I held onto the bars with no easy solution for getting myself out of the pool, I was about to ask the lifeguard for help. I asked God for help and I harnessed the power of Divine Intelligence within me. I organized myself neurologically, took a deep confident breath along with one giant step up and lo and behold I did it! It was one giant step forward for me in my healing journey.
I do not allow all the things that have happened to my body define me or defy me but I do honor the challenges I experience in taking on the challenges I choose to take on in my life - like training for and running Bermuda Half Marathon III.
One of my s-heroes throughout my healing journey has been Wilma Rudolph, a polio survivor who went on to win Olympic Gold.
When I was training for the 2009 Boston Marathon, my personal trainer told me about her story and insisted I google her. Her quotes inspire me when the going gets tough.
I am blessed by my amazing village. Ruth Anne and Tom support and encourage me every step and every mile of the way on and off of the roads. I have an incredible village on line and in real life who embrace me and my journey. They celebrate my accomplishments and give me the strength and inspiration I need to tame the dragon! Oh what treasures I have discovered within myself and in life.
Go the distance with strength and courage,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
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