The above came to me during my morning meditation. And then, because I am a wordsmith, I played around with the words reaction and creation. Guess what? If you reorganize the letters in reaction, you arrive in creation.
We are so hard wired to react to our inner and outer worlds. That's why I treasure my meditation time and my workouts and runs. They are a time to quiet my mind and allow for clarity. I am able to discern and distill my default reactions, reboot my thinking and hence my body to create a new body out of one that had been conditioned after trauma to one that is healthy, vibrant, free and embraces this beautiful journey of transformation and healing.
My thoughts are still laden with the default reaction of fear.
This morning I played a game. Every time I felt fear, noticed thoughts that were generating the fear, I repeated Love, Love, Love. The mind can't hold two opposing emotions at the same time. The fear melted away. I thought, "Wow how could I ever have believed that about myself. I have this wonderful Divine intelligence and deliciously decadent Divine love within me. All I have to do is focus and believe."
I felt my heart open and went forth to create a wonderful day for myself.
I had a fabulous two hour workout at the pool at WaveHealth.
I had the pool all to myself and was able to do laps, cross train and strength train. It was a magical time for me. My default thought when it comes to workouts and runs has been looking forward to a rest day or looking forward to when it would end. That is a throwback to when I was recovering from paralytic polio and experiencing the heaviness in my body that follows trauma. But today, instead of reaction to the clock or even to my training schedule, I focused my energies on creating my new gastroc muscle, and a super highway of a neuromuscular system that had been wiped out by polio. Rather than noticing any struggles or imbalances, I focused on the sun streaming through the skylight, the reflection of the waves on the walls and feeling the healing from polio. My left leg felt energized and enervated. I discovered exercises that helped to break up the scar tissue from 5 surgeries including reconstructive leg surgery and hardware removal. I felt the grace, the gratitude and the power.
I realized that every time I work out, I honor the Divine within me and this is a gift and a special sacred time I get to spend with myself in creative awareness building the new me that has already been created and now I am bringing it into full physical manifestation.
It is only by releasing fear and allowing Divine Love to flow through me that I can transform and evolve.
And another mantra I hold near and dear to my heart that fuels my healing journey of transformation is from Dr. Joe Dispenza:
Cheers! To Life! Love yourself well!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.
50% of book proceeds from all of my books, available on Amazon are donated to the Arredondo Family Foundation whose mission is to provide a helping hand to those experiencing a tragedy and to provide education on matters relating to military, veterans, military families, and the issue of suicide.
I am working on my new book, Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems which brings together my best poems of the last 8 years and will include my latest poems as I continue to feel the heal and move forward in my life.
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