Last Saturday Tom and I went for a run around Jamaica Pond. It reminded me of our 2009 Boston Marathon training and a poem I was inspired to write:
Courage from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life""
The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.
A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.
Branches now bejeweled though bare bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.
A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.
When I was given the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome and told many many frightening things:
If you use it you will lose it
Prepare to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair
Think about adapting your house or getting a ranch
You're going to have to quit your job if you have any hope of keeping the symptoms where they are
We recommend a sleep apnea machine
You need to drink liquids through a straw and eat semi solid foods and hope that you don't need a feeding tube in the future given your risk for aspiration pneumonia
You need to at the very least get back into a leg brace and use a cane
You have to conserve your energy
You are at risk for a hip fracture if you fall
You need an ice gripper on your cane
Stay inside as much as you can in the extreme temperatures
I was afraid - terrified. I wondered if I even had a future to look forward to.
Then I got angry about what was happening to me realizing that I was at a crossroads in my life.
And then I got still....and asked for Divine Guidance.
Resources to help me poured into my inbox. I also remembered the tools I'd use before on my healing journey including the wit, widsom and support from Bernie Siegel, MD.
In the dark night of my mind, body and soul a light shined through the power of my pen. I penned my first poem, "Running the Race." It foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run.
Poetry poured out of my soul as though a spigot were turned on firing up my imagination with visualizations of being healthy, whole and free. I danced in the rain without my leg brace. I saw myself running (although I had never run a day in my life). I dug deep in all of my therapies to bring my body back from its withered state.
I was terrified to leave my full time award winning career as a VA social worker but after a breast cancer scare, I took a leap of faith giving 6 weeks notice and pulling all of my money out of my retirement account. I was blessed with the support of Tom who told me it was a no brainer to quit my job and heal my life.
After being discharged from Spaulding Rehab's Outpatient Clinic, I hired a personal trainer!
Crazy right?
I was told by the medical establishment if I use it I will lose it (and oh how I hope they have revised their treatment recommendations since 2006) yet something deep within me said I HAD to get moving.
After reaching my initial health and fitness goals with my personal trainer, she asked me what I wanted to set for my next goals.
From the soon to be released "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
“Wait. I have one more goal.”
Janine stopped and turned around.
“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”
Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house and put down her things. She said that the first thing I would need is a pair of running shoes. She told me that Marathon Sports on Beacon Street would be able to help me. She laid out a cursory training plan and said that we would begin indoors to build up my cardio endurance. As soon as the weather got a little warmer, we’d go outdoors and I would learn how to run.
What courage it took for me to go way outside of my comfort zone and learn to run at the age of 54. I ran in races where invariably I finished last. But I finished and my story inspired (and continues to inspire) others.
With the challenge of living in a body that had once been assaulted by the polio virus and unrelenting assaults from family members, it takes courage to continue to challenge myself and maintain a rigorous 5 day a week training program.
Yet I embrace all the gifts that these challenges have given me.
I've discovered how much strength and courage I have inside of me to conquer any and every challenge life has thrown my way.
From the Foreword of Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance written by Jacqueline Hansen:
Just for a moment, let’s ponder the word “heart.” The Latin word for heart is “cor.” Cor is also the root of the word “courage.” I would attribute both heart and courage to Mary. Even Mary herself has said that “It takes incredible courage to heal trauma . . . healing both paralytic polio and trauma.” Author Parker Palmer wrote that “The heart is where we integrate what we know in our mind with what we know in our bones, the place where our knowledge can become more fully human. When all that we understand of self and world comes together in the center place called the heart, we are more likely to find the courage to act humanely on what we know.”
Whatever challenges you may be experiencing, my hope and prayer is that you find the courage to go beyond what you think you cannot do to discover a world of possibility opening before you.
To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary
My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
***Coming Soon - The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953***
The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953 takes you on Mary McManus’ healing odyssey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December 2006, Mary got still and asked for Divine Guidance. She harnessed the power of her mind to heal her body, feverishly writing poetry in which she imagined herself healthy, whole and free from the shackles of her youth. Mary’s quest to heal her life led her to the sport of running that tested her mettle while fueling her journey of transformation from a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and severe trauma at the hands of family members to a woman who embodies faith, grace under fire, courage, determination, endurance and resilience. Running became a way of life for Mary. As you’ll discover in “The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” nothing, not even a serious knee injury in December of 2014 could stop her on the roads or in her life. Mary’s story is one that will leave you cheering for the underdog and discovering the meaning of different ability as Mary overcame every challenge that life presented to her.
