I've struggled on my runs the last few weeks. I wasn't concerned about pushing my pace which is my new health and fitness goal since I am not training for an endurance event. I knew that I needed to be kind and compassionate with myself given the inordinate stress Tom and I were experiencing with our daughter's severe psychiatric impairment. As Facebook memories popped up I was reminded of how we trained together last year to run the Bermuda Half Marathon in January and how I tried to will her miraculous recovery from her challenges. In February the wheels fell off the wagon so to speak and it's been a downward spiral since then.
BUT through my meditations, visualizations, talking with Tom and through chiropractic care, I had the epiphany that I should and must continue on my health and wellness journey healing the effects of paralytic polio and enduring 9 years of severe childhood trauma at the hands of family members.
The weather called for sunny skies with a chill in the air. By the time we were ready to go on our run cloudy skies prevailed. Rather than go to the beach we opted for our favorite training place, Jamaica Pond. It's where we trained for our 2009 Boston Marathon run and many many other races through the past ten years. It's a place that settles my soul and ignites wonderful memories.
I felt vibrant and alive for the first time in several weeks. The scene at Jamaica Pond was a feast for my mind, body and soul. As we passed the rocks on the walls, I remembered the poem I wrote inspired by our 2009 Boston Marathon training:
Courage from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life"
The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.
A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.
Branches now bejeweled though bare bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.
A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.
Yet I also felt that I was running around Jamaica Pond for the first time feeling in awe and wonder of the beauty that surrounded us. I felt the pure joy in being out in nature, breathing deeply and being able to experience the gift of running in my life. I did not push the pace but instead set my body free to see what I wanted to do. I ended up doing negative 12 second splits between mile 1 and 2 and mile 2 and 3. But more than any time on the clock, it was the time that Tom and I spent together, unplugged being in the present moment.
We celebrated the gift of running in our lives that began in April of 2008 by setting the goal of running the 2009 Boston Marathon. We run for many different reasons and each run has its own reward and experience.
It felt fabulous to run happy enjoying the splendor of a beautiful Autumn day in New England.
To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary
My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
***Coming Soon - The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953***
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