Going the Distance: The Spirit of the Olympics and the Birth of a Competitor

When I was 10 years old, just two years after coming out of a full leg brace after contracting paralytic polio, and suffering nightly sexual abuse at the hands of my father, I met a camp counselor, Joe Stetz, who was on his way to becoming an Olympian. He chose the path of becoming a physician but he had the energy and drive of a competitor that he wanted to instill in me. This is a photo of him with his Olympic training relay swim team - He is on the far left:


At the end of the summer, Badger Day Camp held their annual Olympics. Badger Day Camp has been in existence since 1933 and continues the tradition of training world class swimmers.
"The Badger Swim program is led by world recognized swim coach John Collins Jr. For the past 30 years John Collins has created a world class swim program in Westchester, New York. During that time John has coached 5 world champions, multiple NCAA champions and Olympic atheletes, including Westchester’s Olympic gold medalist Rick Carey. Himself a former Badger swimmer, Indiana University All American butterflier and American Record holder in the 200 Butterfly. John is currently a member of the United States National Team coaching staff." When I attended Badger, his father who is now deceased was the Camp Director. My first camp experience as a survivor of paralytic polio was horrible and so my physiatrist Dr. Eugene Moskowitz urged my parents to find a swimming camp for me. I was blessed that I found my way to Badger Day Camp with a supportive and all inclusive environment even back in the 60's.

There were only two campers who were competing in the butterfly event in my age group. Joe told me that he wanted me to swim the butterfly in the Olympics. I told him he was crazy. I had just come out of a leg brace and was recovering from paralytic polio. He told me that I was guaranteed a medal, that my time did not matter and I would be showing the other campers a lesson in courage. I told him I was afraid of jumping off the starting block and had no idea how to do a turn. At 21 years old (although in my eyes as a 10 year old he was a god of sorts), he had a very wise and kind soul. He told me to not worry about a thing; that he would coach me one on one in everything I needed to successfully compete in the race. Thus a competitor was born! I came in dead last but I finished and proudly took my place on the medal stand.

I've carried that Olympic Spirit with me after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome now almost 10 years ago. I carried Joe with me in my heart during my training for and running the 2009 Boston Marathon and every time I take my place at the start of a race.

After my nephew's suicide in March of 2011, I strayed off my healing path. After 4/15/13, I got back into running and watching Billy Mills' video of his 10000M victory at the 1964 Olympics lit the fire within me to up my game and go for a PR at Bill Rodgers 5K for Prostate Cancer.
"The subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between reality and imagination."


I harnessed that Olympic Spirit and here is the result:


When I was only 10 years old, from the heart of an Olympian, Joe Stetz, the torch was lit within me and a competitor was born. That Olympic Flame still burns brightly within me.

When Tom and I were watching underwater shots of Michael Phelps doing the butterfly I said, "That's not exactly how my butterfly looks." We laughed and celebrated what the Olympic Spirit is all about.

To your health and wellness,
Mary

My Running Chronicles: I am a Competitor

When I was 10 years old, just two years after coming out of a full leg brace after contracting paralytic polio, I met a camp counselor, Joe Stetz, who was on his way to becoming an Olympian. He chose the path of becoming a physician but he had the energy and drive of a competitor that he wanted to instill in me. This is a photo of him with his Olympic training relay swim team - He is on the far left:


At the end of the summer, Badger Day Camp held their annual Olympics. There were only two campers who were competing in the butterfly event in my age group. Joe told me that he wanted me to swim the butterfly in the Olympics. I told him he was crazy. I had just come out of a leg brace and was recovering from paralytic polio. He told me that I was guaranteed a medal, that my time did not matter and I would be showing the other campers a lesson in courage. I told him I was afraid of jumping off the starting block and had no idea how to do a turn. At 21 years old (although in my eyes as a 10 year old he was a god of sorts), he had a very wise and kind soul. He told me to not worry about a thing; that he would coach me one on one in everything I needed to successfully compete in the race. Thus a competitor was born! I came in dead last but I finished and proudly took my place on the medal stand.

In reading, "You Are the Placebo," by Dr. Joe Dispenza, he suggests that we explore our beliefs. We have all been programmed by experience and our beliefs become our biology. Often times we are not aware of our beliefs because they are programmed and hard wired into our brain and Being so it takes work to unravel and understand beliefs that promote health and well being and those that contribute to pain and disease.

After I received the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease, I realized that many of the messages I received from peers and family members about my body and my Being needed to be challenged. Fortunately, with the help of earth angels who came into my life, I was able to hold onto my sense of goodness, my tender and kind heart and belief that helping others would help me to heal. Working at the VA for almost 20 years was a blessing in my life until I realized I needed to take time and space for me to heal from all that happened to me.

Fortunately I met a physical therapist at Spaulding who would not treat me as a survivor of paralytic polio but believed in the body's ability to heal and get stronger regardless of what it experienced in the past. I needed to build on what she taught me and had to retrain my body and my mind/body to believe in my physical strength. Running the 2009 Boston Marathon was a wonderful way to leave those beliefs out on 26.2 miles from Hopkinton to Boston and have a stunning moment of redemption at the Boston Marathon finish line.



After the marathon, I was told I shouldn't and wouldn't run again. Fortunately I had a wonderful cervical spine doctor who showed me what I needed to heal in my cervical spine and a physical therapist who supported my desire to run again. In July, Team McManus was back on the roads at the Charles River Run:



What followed was a stunning series of races with PR's and feeling at the top of my game ... until 3/4/11 when my nephew suicided.

It's been a long road back from that day and for awhile I lost my edge. Fears and doubts prevailed and I became entangled in many relationships that were recapitulating and reinforcing feelings of unworthiness and guilt.

But I never completely lost my competitive edge and disentangled myself from relationships that were not going to support my health and well being.

And here I am today! Training for the 2016 Newport Marathon!

Yesterday I hit a major milestone - 4 miles with more hills than I could possibly count. I visualized my comeback race, the Harard Pilgrim Finish at the 50 5K on July 3rd. I ran happy and free in the midst of the challenging run singing and feeling my heart filled with gratitude that I am back competing again outrunning fears and doubts and meeting myself on the roads again.


Four miles becomes 6; 6 becomes 12; 12 becomes 18 and then 18 becomes 24 -- and then 26.2 miles in October of 2016!

After a knee injury in December, the physician who means really well and has been there for me when I needed Western medicine, and my previous massage therapist who wasn't a runner and doesn't get what running means to me nor understands the power of the medicine of running, sent me messages of caution and fear. I had to fire them. The Universe first sent me Dr. Ryan of Elevate Health Cambridge who rekindled the flame of the competitor within me and supported my healing with kinesiotaping. He reminded me to set goals not limits.

When I put out the call to the Universe that I wanted and needed to run happy and free again, everything I need is being set before me. Friends have recommended books and interviews that fill me with positivity, hope and healing and fuel my natural instinct to heal. I am finding affirmations and rekindling writing poetry that transcends everything that went before.

I practice healing through meditation and visualization and commit to only one outcome - total health, wholeness and well being knowing that my body knows what to do to heal. I practice patience knowing that it's all happening! I am persistent working toward my goals every day....I pace myself and gather up all the beliefs that support healing, health, well being and my belief in myself as a competitor able to leave my fears and doubts at the starting line.

Every time I work out, every time I run, every time I do more and am more than I was, I win!

Be blessed! Journey well! To all good things...

"Enjoy your swim!" "Whether you think you can or think you can't - you're right!"

Before going to the Evelyn Kirrane Aquatics Center for cross training yesterday, I had my mind set on swimming laps.



The last time I swam laps was when I was at Badger Day Camp when I was 9 and 10 years old. It was an Olympic size pool that trained many Olympian swimmers. We swam width laps.



To be honest, I wasn't sure what would happen. I'd been in Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding since August of 2013. While we did cardio circuits in the pool and Aqua Jogging, there was no continuous full body stroke swimming. I knew I could run a marathon so why not swim laps right?

As I checked in, the young lady behind the desk smiled warmly and said, "Enjoy your swim."

After I took the pre-swim shower, I was looking for my swim cap in my bag. I panicked. It wasn't there and I know they have strict rules about anyone with shoulder length hair having to wear a swim cap. Where was it? I thought perhaps I left it on the bench after my swim on Tuesday. I went to lost and found. It remained lost. The open swim ended at 3pm so I knew I didn't have enough time to get dressed and go to CVS to replace it. As my mind momentarily went to oh well I'll take the day off, I felt this feeling swell inside of me that I have to swim today.

As good fortune would have it, my recent mantra of the Universe and I together meet my needs with ease bore truth. They sold swim caps at the pool. Whew that was a close one.

To ensure that I would not back out of my commitment to do laps, the lesson pool was in use by children with physical challenges. I was so moved as I walked by a woman holding a little boy in the water as the sun streamed into the room, "Doesn't this feel wonderful? Feel the sun on your face." I counted my blessings and walked over to the lap pool.

I knew that it was heated but not to the temperature that I was used to at Spaulding or even the lesson pool. But I was determined to get in there and swim laps.

Now here is where the story really gets good and I am feeling a rant coming on which is very unusual for me.

One of the "symptoms" of "post polio syndrome" is cold intolerance. I shivered and shook and couldn't regulate my body temperature. In "Journey Well" I share how even without the temperature changing in the treatment room and it being set at a comfortable temperature at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork, I would experience the room as freezing cold at times and couldn't maintain my body temperature. This dramatically shifted over time.

In last week's treatment, during the Zero Balancing portion of my treatment, I felt my Spirit Helper/Guardian Angel's presence. She has been with me at least since I was 5 and contracted paralytic polio. I had a very Cinderella like moment as she said, "I have a secret to tell you. You are not living with the late effects of paralytic polio."

She is right! I am reminded of Henry Ford's quote:



Several months ago, Joseph said to me, "I don't want to push or pull you to a place you're not ready to go yet but I see you without your story." And then last week commented, "I can feel your body is healed. Your mind and your heart just need to catch up."

I was trying to find the length of the Spaulding Aquatics Therapy pool to compare it to the laps I swam yesterday, and came across this article, "Exploring benefits of aquatics therapy for poliomyelitis patients."

The exact cause of post-polio syndrome is unknown. However, scientists suspect that years of strain on these motor units cause them to be unable to meet the demands of their new terminal axon sprouts, leading to eventual malfunction and permanent weakness. Approximately 440,000 polio survivors in the U.S. are at risk for developing the syndrome.

The article goes on to be filled with cautionary tales about not overdoing it.

I tend to go the other way on the doing it spectrum and most recently am becoming exquisitely tuned into taking myself to the edge and just a bit farther to avoid injury but studies have shown over and over and over again that what you tell your mind, what you believe, will happen in your body. I was blessed to move to the Spaulding Hospital downtown from the Framingham Clinic where my therapist, Allison Lamarre Poole told me she would not treat me like a polio survivor and held the belief for me that I would and could get stronger. I would be very curious to explore what would happen if all polio survivors received the message that they have the capacity to heal from the original polio virus.

Interestingly enough, the physiatrist who treated me after contracting paralytic polio in 1959, Dr. Eugene Moskowitz created quite a stir in the post polio community with his op ed piece in the New York Times as I wrote about in "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

The Westchester Post-Polio Group is grateful to Dr. Eugene Moskowitz (Letters to the Editor, March 3) for providing the public with a concrete demonstration of the negative and patronizing attitude many of us have encountered from physicians. If Dr. Moskowitz finds ''no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cords,'' we suggest that he read ''Proceedings From the First Annual Symposium on the Late Effects of Poliomyelitis,'' in which highly respected members of his own profession advance excellent medical arguments and research reports in support of exactly that theory.

Here is what my beloved Dr. Moskowitz wrote:

Caution and Hope On Polio 'Signs'
Published: March 3, 1985

I read with interest the article entitled ''A Group for Polio Survivors Who Have New Symptoms'' (Feb. 10).

Having supervised the rehabilitation of poliomyelitis patients at Grasslands Hospital during the epidemics of the 50's and 60's, probably including the ''then'' infants mentioned in the article, I would like to add a word of caution and even hope as an afterthought.

Firstly, there is no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cord. After 30 years, one must accept some loss of endurance, increased fatigue and even some discomfort induced by other unrelated medical problems. This is true in the athlete with repeated injuries, in the obese person with back problems and even in the jogger with foot ailments.

Any individual with paralytic disability in an extremity will experience the normal process of ''wear and tear'' except that it may be more difficult to adjust to it. Just as one learned to compensate for the initial impairment so must one adjust to the later, more subtle changes rather than develop an emotional hangup of being a ''polio victim.''

EUGENE MOSKOWITZ, M.D. Mount Vernon

HOPE - that's right HOPE!

And remembering that message, I psyched myself up to do laps. I felt amazing gliding through the water feeling my core and remembering to use my hip flexors, feeling the energy all along my legs rather than overuse my knee joints. I paused and stretched and kept an eye on the lesson pool for when I could return to my "safe" exercises but the Universe would have none of that (and in truth neither would I). Using a combination of breast stroke, freestyle and backstroke, I did laps for 30 minutes and completed approximately 10 laps.

Only then did I return to the lesson pool with its warm waters that felt wonderful. I did squats, used the noodle for quad strengthening and push ups and did a lot of stretching after my 5th consecutive workout.

I felt a swimmer's high and really proud of myself for going out there and doing something I had not done since I was 9 and 10 years old in a pool that reminded me of my Badger Swim Camp Days. I got a great cardio and all around full body workout.

As I was leaving, an older woman was at the front desk who I knew from back in the day when our kids went to school together asked, "Did you enjoy your swim?"

I'm sure she could see from the look on my face that the answer was an unequivocal yes!

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

The Courage to Start ... Again and Again and Again

“The seeds planted in our youth never die. They bide their time until it is time to bloom.” ~Mary McManus



A theme in my soon to be released book, "Journey Well"



is finding the courage to take my place at the starting line over and over and over again; to find the courage to come back after life packed powerful punches.

There was a very special person from my childhood who planted the seeds that now blossom as I toe the starting line at different races and find the courage to dig deep regardless of what conditions there are in my life. From "Journey Well":

I was reflecting on where my courage to start comes from. In reading Bill Rodgers, “The Marathon Man” and Dave McGillivray's,“The Last Pick”, they talk about the people who lit that spark within them helping them to believe in themselves. When I was 9 and 10 years old, I went to Badger Day Camp in Larchmont, New York. My physiatrist, Dr. Eugene Moskowitz, who was helping me to recover from paralytic polio, suggested the camp because of its emphasis on being an all-inclusive camp, having a low camper to counselor ratio and critical to my recovery, a strong emphasis on swimming. I learned how to swim at Badger. I always felt a part of the Camp community. Counselors created an atmosphere of acceptance for all abilities. They encouraged me to do what I could do on the athletic field. They helped me to hone my archery and riflery skills where I could easily earn medals. My time at Badger was a healing balm for the violence my body endured every night. It was also a healing balm for the bullying and teasing I endured in school as a survivor of polio.

Joseph Stetz was on his way to becoming an Olympian. Instead, he gave up becoming an Olympian to pursue his career as a doctor. I can only imagine how many lives he blessed in his career as a cardiothoracic surgeon at St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Brighton, Massachusetts. He was my swimming counselor and in my 2nd and what would sadly be my last year at Badger due to health issues related to polio, he asked me to swim the butterfly in the Badger Olympics. I thought he was crazy. He explained to me that there were only two other campers signed up to compete in the butterfly in my division. He said that it didn't matter what my time was. He wanted me to go out there and swim the best that I could possibly swim. He said that I was guaranteed my place on the medal stand and that I would earn my bronze medal (which as I recall was a plaque) for having the courage to swim in a race that no one else would sign on for. How could I refuse him? He was about 6'2" tall and in amazing physical shape with an incredibly handsome face and warm brown eyes. He told me that he would help me train for the event. He coached me on my form and breathing. He helped me to find the courage to jump off the starting block into the pool and coached me on what form would give me the best start. He "got" me and what I needed in order to succeed mind, body and Spirit.

Badger Olympics Day arrived. He helped to calm my nerves. We both knew that one way or another I was going to finish the race. As I write this I can still remember the tremendous effort it took for me to finish that race. But I did it! I proudly took my place on the medal stand. Joseph gave me his address on the last day of Camp and encouraged me to stay in touch with him. I wrote to him about the medical challenges I was facing and he wrote back beautiful letters of support. He was in medical school at the time. We lost contact through the years until one day in December 2004, I was reading the Boston Globe and saw his obituary. I was stunned for so many reasons not the least of which was I worked as a psychiatric social worker at St. Elizabeth's Hospital where he was on staff as a cardiothoracic surgeon. He died at the age of 62 in a single car accident a few months after he retired.

Joseph was only 21 years old when I met him but he was a soul far wiser than his years. In his Boston Globe obituary, he was described as "an old-school doctor who didn't mind giving patients a much-needed hug," said Bernadette Trenholm, Dr. Stetz's personal administrator and close friend. "Appointments were always as long as they needed to be with him. If the patients needed two hours, Dr. Stetz would give them two hours."

I often feel his presence and will feel his presence when I toe the starting line on Thanksgiving morning at the Boston Volvo Village 5K Road Race to benefit the Greater New England Chapter's National Multiple Sclerosis Society. The course goes in front of St. Elizabeth's Hospital. You can read about my passion for running this race and helping to create a world free from MS and other neuromuscular disorders by going to my donation page. While I am hoping to PR the race next Thursday, more important than my PR goal is my fundraising goal. Please give what you can so that those living with the challenge of MS and other neuromuscular disorders can find the courage to start again and again and again.



The first 7 years of my healing odyssey are chronicled in Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility available on Amazon. I donate 50% of royalty payments to The One Fund Boston to help survivors and their families who were affected by the tragic events of 4/15/13.



My 2nd book, "Journey Well," is coming soon. 50% of book proceeds will be donated to AccesSportAmerica to help them continue their life changing programs

All Good Things

As we were saying goodbye after a strength building Joint Integrity Aquatics Therapy class at Spaulding, one of the older ladies said to me, "God bless Mary. All good things."

Yes - all good things.

Tom and I have faced remarkable hardships before we met and have weathered many storms during our 37 years of being together. We've also known good things in our lives. Tom likes to talk about the kindness of a thousand strangers who he met along his journey to go from leaving home in Spain at the age of 17 and finding his way back to the United States to build a life for himself. I've had incredible earth angels who have blessed my journey.

In my soon to be released book, "Journey Well", I talk about one angel, Joseph Stetz, who gave me the courage to start...

“The seeds planted in our youth never die. They bide their time until it is time to bloom.” ~Mary McManus

The Courage to Start June 10, 2014

It took a lot of courage for me choose to run the 5K rather than opt for the 2 mile walk at the Father Bullock Charity Run Walk Shuffle. It was an evening race. I was unfamiliar with the course and it was a relatively fast field although the last two runners to cross the finish line in 2013 and 2012 were at a pace well within my reach. They,however, were not part of the field on Sunday evening as I brought up the rear in style with a motorcycle police escort.

I was reflecting on where my courage to start comes from. In reading Bill Rodgers, “The Marathon Man” and Dave McGillivray's “The Last Pick”, they talk about the people who lit that spark within them helping them to believe in themselves. When I was 9 and 10 years old, I went to Badger Day Camp in Larchmont, New York. My physiatrist, Dr. Eugene Moskowitz, who was helping me to recover from paralytic polio, suggested the camp because of its emphasis on being an all-inclusive camp, having a low camper to counselor ratio and critical to my recovery, a strong emphasis on swimming. I learned how to swim at Badger. I always felt a part of the Camp community. Counselors created an atmosphere of acceptance for all abilities. They encouraged me to do what I could do on the athletic field. They helped me to hone my archery and riflery skills where I could easily earn medals. My time at Badger was a healing balm for the violence my body endured every night. It was also a healing balm for the bullying and teasing I endured in school as a survivor of polio.

Joseph Stetz was on his way to becoming an Olympian. Instead, he gave up becoming an Olympian to pursue his career as a doctor. I can only imagine how many lives he blessed in his career as a cardiothoracic surgeon at St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Brighton, Massachusetts. He was my swimming counselor and in my 2nd and what would sadly be my last year at Badger due to health issues related to polio, he asked me to swim the butterfly in the Badger Olympics. I thought he was crazy. He explained to me that there were only two other campers signed up to compete in the butterfly in my division. He said that it didn't matter what my time was. He wanted me to go out there and swim the best that I could possibly swim. He said that I was guaranteed my place on the medal stand and that I would earn my bronze medal (which as I recall was a plaque) for having the courage to swim in a race that no one else would would sign on for. How could I refuse him? He was about 6'2" tall and in amazing physical shape with an incredibly handsome face and warm brown eyes. He told me that he would help me train for the event. He coached me on my form and breathing. He helped me to find the courage to jump off the starting block into the pool and coached me on what form would give me the best start. He "got" me and what I needed in order to succeed mind, body and Spirit.

Badger Olympics Day arrived. He helped to calm my nerves. We both knew that one way or another I was going to finish the race. As
I write this I can still remember the tremendous effort it took for me to finish that race. But I did it! I proudly took my place on the medal stand. Joseph gave me his address on the last day of Camp and encouraged me to stay in touch with him. I wrote to him about the medical challenges I was facing and he wrote back beautiful letters of support. He was in medical school at the time. We lost contact through the years until one day in December 2004, I was reading the Boston Globe and saw his obituary. I was stunned for so many reasons not the least of which was I worked as a psychiatric social worker at St. Elizabeth's Hospital where he was on staff as a cardiothoracic surgeon. He died at the age of 62 in a single car accident a few months after he retired.

There is a Joseph Stetz Memorial Scholarship that awards $1,000 to “one male and one female graduating senior who will be attending college in the fall. Selection criteria include swimming accomplishments, academic achievement, community service, and an essay on how swimming has had a positive impact on your scholastic and personal growth, all as further outlined in the application.”

His legacy lives on in so many ways!

I know I found the courage to start running and take on the challenge of the Boston Marathon because of the seeds he planted in my youth. I have been blessed to finish every training run and every race I ever started. I'm sure he's been watching over me. Never underestimate the impact you have on another person. It's been 50 years since Joseph invited me to swim the butterfly in the Badger Olympics, yet to this day, because of him, I have the courage to start over and over and over again! What sweet rewards we receive when we have the courage to start!

On Thanksgiving Day, I will be running by St. Elizabeth's Hospital as part of the Boston Volvo Village 5K Road Race. I am aiming for a PR and I will feel Joseph's energy and his belief and confidence in my athletic abilities as I run. I am raising money and awareness for the Greater New England Chapter of the Multiple Sclerosis Society running for those who can't so someday they will. Please help me reach my goal by donating to my personal fundraising page.




The first 7 years of my healing odyssey are chronicled in Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility available on Amazon. I donate 50% of royalty payments to The One Fund Boston to help survivors and their families who were affected by the tragic events of 4/15/13.



My 2nd book, "Journey Well," is coming soon. 50% of book proceeds will be donated to AccesSportAmerica to help them continue their life changing programs: