My Running Chronicles: I'm BAAACK and It Feels So Good!

Five miles in the Bank of Bermuda for the Bermuda Half Marathon that is happening in 181 days! Five miles! Team McManus mapped out a very challenging out and back on Beacon Street course with a lot of hills and elevation. It was warm and very humid but nothing could dampen our spirits as we build our mileage for first the half marathon and then going the distance a year from October at the Newport Marathon.



There is a sense of unbridled joy and freedom setting out for a long run. Today was one of those days when I wanted to run forever. I felt so amazing in my body and thoroughly embraced and enjoyed the challenge of the hills.

It's so wonderful to unplug and have time with my life and running partner Tom surrounded by green trees, feeling gentle raindrops tickle us and cool us off at times and having time to reflect and recap the week that's behind us. We visualize our upcoming races while relishing the joy of simply running.

There is nothing sweeter than the conversation you have while out running with your best friend - nothing.

During this morning's meditation, I had a realization that I used to celebrate my running accomplishments as a survivor of trauma and paralytic polio. Now I celebrate my running accomplishments as a runner.

This is the first time in my life that I am experiencing myself as a runner period, challenging myself while training my body to be healthy, strong, fit and experience wholeness and well being.

I can feel how cross training pays HUGE dividends especially when running on hills and I see and feel the transformation happening in my body. I have muscles and I experience the burn in those muscles knowing that my body has an incredible capacity to recover from a training run while also continuing to heal from paralytic polio and violence.

When I run and when I run long I am saying to my body, "I believe in you. We can go the distance together. Everything is healing and everything is healed. Running is our medicine that feeds mind, body and soul." Fears melt away with the sweat. Joy and happiness bubble up from the soul. Food tastes amazing after a run. I feel alive, vibrant, vital and optimistic. There is a natural high that happens from the very act of running and a sense of accomplishment that I set out to do 5 miles on this course and that is exactly what I accomplished.

I let go of any sense of a time goal today. I know that speed will come as I do speed work once a week with a 5K and also train in the pool to build cardiovascular endurance.

I can now feel in every fiber of my being that I am back to running - for good. I have a great team and training program in place now. Having the goal to #runbermuda #runhappy #letsdothis is infusing my training runs with such determination and joy.

It keeps getting better and better as I feel the heal mind, body and Spirit.

Five miles! Yup I am definitely back and it feels so good.





I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


Be on the lookout for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," available soon on Amazon


I am writing "Going the Distance," chronicling this miraculous phase of my healing journey on the road to the Bermuda Half and the Newport Marathon 2016.

My Running Chronicles: I am a Competitor

When I was 10 years old, just two years after coming out of a full leg brace after contracting paralytic polio, I met a camp counselor, Joe Stetz, who was on his way to becoming an Olympian. He chose the path of becoming a physician but he had the energy and drive of a competitor that he wanted to instill in me. This is a photo of him with his Olympic training relay swim team - He is on the far left:


At the end of the summer, Badger Day Camp held their annual Olympics. There were only two campers who were competing in the butterfly event in my age group. Joe told me that he wanted me to swim the butterfly in the Olympics. I told him he was crazy. I had just come out of a leg brace and was recovering from paralytic polio. He told me that I was guaranteed a medal, that my time did not matter and I would be showing the other campers a lesson in courage. I told him I was afraid of jumping off the starting block and had no idea how to do a turn. At 21 years old (although in my eyes as a 10 year old he was a god of sorts), he had a very wise and kind soul. He told me to not worry about a thing; that he would coach me one on one in everything I needed to successfully compete in the race. Thus a competitor was born! I came in dead last but I finished and proudly took my place on the medal stand.

In reading, "You Are the Placebo," by Dr. Joe Dispenza, he suggests that we explore our beliefs. We have all been programmed by experience and our beliefs become our biology. Often times we are not aware of our beliefs because they are programmed and hard wired into our brain and Being so it takes work to unravel and understand beliefs that promote health and well being and those that contribute to pain and disease.

After I received the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease, I realized that many of the messages I received from peers and family members about my body and my Being needed to be challenged. Fortunately, with the help of earth angels who came into my life, I was able to hold onto my sense of goodness, my tender and kind heart and belief that helping others would help me to heal. Working at the VA for almost 20 years was a blessing in my life until I realized I needed to take time and space for me to heal from all that happened to me.

Fortunately I met a physical therapist at Spaulding who would not treat me as a survivor of paralytic polio but believed in the body's ability to heal and get stronger regardless of what it experienced in the past. I needed to build on what she taught me and had to retrain my body and my mind/body to believe in my physical strength. Running the 2009 Boston Marathon was a wonderful way to leave those beliefs out on 26.2 miles from Hopkinton to Boston and have a stunning moment of redemption at the Boston Marathon finish line.



After the marathon, I was told I shouldn't and wouldn't run again. Fortunately I had a wonderful cervical spine doctor who showed me what I needed to heal in my cervical spine and a physical therapist who supported my desire to run again. In July, Team McManus was back on the roads at the Charles River Run:



What followed was a stunning series of races with PR's and feeling at the top of my game ... until 3/4/11 when my nephew suicided.

It's been a long road back from that day and for awhile I lost my edge. Fears and doubts prevailed and I became entangled in many relationships that were recapitulating and reinforcing feelings of unworthiness and guilt.

But I never completely lost my competitive edge and disentangled myself from relationships that were not going to support my health and well being.

And here I am today! Training for the 2016 Newport Marathon!

Yesterday I hit a major milestone - 4 miles with more hills than I could possibly count. I visualized my comeback race, the Harard Pilgrim Finish at the 50 5K on July 3rd. I ran happy and free in the midst of the challenging run singing and feeling my heart filled with gratitude that I am back competing again outrunning fears and doubts and meeting myself on the roads again.


Four miles becomes 6; 6 becomes 12; 12 becomes 18 and then 18 becomes 24 -- and then 26.2 miles in October of 2016!

After a knee injury in December, the physician who means really well and has been there for me when I needed Western medicine, and my previous massage therapist who wasn't a runner and doesn't get what running means to me nor understands the power of the medicine of running, sent me messages of caution and fear. I had to fire them. The Universe first sent me Dr. Ryan of Elevate Health Cambridge who rekindled the flame of the competitor within me and supported my healing with kinesiotaping. He reminded me to set goals not limits.

When I put out the call to the Universe that I wanted and needed to run happy and free again, everything I need is being set before me. Friends have recommended books and interviews that fill me with positivity, hope and healing and fuel my natural instinct to heal. I am finding affirmations and rekindling writing poetry that transcends everything that went before.

I practice healing through meditation and visualization and commit to only one outcome - total health, wholeness and well being knowing that my body knows what to do to heal. I practice patience knowing that it's all happening! I am persistent working toward my goals every day....I pace myself and gather up all the beliefs that support healing, health, well being and my belief in myself as a competitor able to leave my fears and doubts at the starting line.

Every time I work out, every time I run, every time I do more and am more than I was, I win!

Be blessed! Journey well! To all good things...

Mind Games

Last night during my meditation before falling asleep I had this sharp pain go through my left leg. 'Oh no,' was my first thought, 'I'm injured again' and then I got still. I had a conversation with my body and allowed the flashback to polio and reconstructive leg surgery to flow. I've often experienced flashbacks to the pain of polio in my left leg and been able to ride its wave but in the wake of last December's knee injury, I panicked but only for a moment.

I remembered these two quotes:


I smiled. I breathed. I relaxed and I celebrated feeling deep gratitude for all that I do have. I reminded myself of the power of the healer within me and I told myself that the grip of fear came from the 5 year old within me whose body collapsed and stopped functioning with no warning; I allowed the memories from the reconstructive leg surgery for which I was awake using epidural spinal for anesthesia to flow. I told myself I'm safe and blessed by knowing my healer within, partnering with people who are healers in my life and feeling the love and support of my village whose love is powerful medicine. I played with imagery and visualization going to my favorite place the beach to allow the sun, the sand and the salt water to bathe me in healing waters. I saw my knee as healthy and used the laser vision of my 3rd eye to clear out the debris in the joint. I allowed the congested energy from the painful experiences of the past and residuals from polio, surgery and violence to wash through me imagining a lavage of light and love to clear the path in its wake. After I allowed the hot, searing pain to flow, I noticed that my left leg and actually both legs felt lighter and there was a sense of ease in my legs.

I also wondered why it's so easy to go to those mind games that involve fear, intimidation, or unworthiness and why we have to work so hard to flip on the switch of joy, strength, confidence, healing, hope, knowing all is well and allowing, as Thich Nhat Hahn says in this beautiful quote that appeared on my Facebook News Feed this morning, all good things to bloom:



It takes practice, practice, practice to be able to execute mind games that foster health, happiness, joy, gratitude, excitement and allow creativity and inspiration to flow.

Last night, rather than allowing the pain and fear to grip my body, mind, heart and soul, I played detective to find the source of the physical and emotional pain I experienced. I allowed my energy to flow by steadying my breath and calming my mind reminding myself to Trust and have Faith; that, to quote the healer Jack Gray, "I am a child of God. Everything I need to heal is inside of me. Healing this leg is no big problem."

Nor is healing all of the things that happened to me...but it takes practice, patience, persistence and pacing and figuring out what treatments, therapies, workouts best serve me at any given time. I choose where to put my energies and make sure that every choice I make is supporting healing, vibrancy, vitality and thriving in the wake of all that I experienced.

And it takes mind games to harness the power of all that is right and true and good within me - that delicious Divine Energy, pure love and light to support my body as it heals. I surround myself with like-hearted and like-minded people who can support the mind games I like to play and I make sure that I am the guardian and the gate keeper of positive, healthy, life affirming healing thoughts. I am reminded of a quote from Dave McGillvray, "My game. My rules." I get to play this hand that I've been dealt with finesse, success, joy, and exhilaration as I train for the 2016 Newport Marathon to raise money and awareness for the Arredondo Family Foundation.

Be blessed. Journey well. To all good things....

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.