December 13, 2014 - a day that will live in my infamy. The day that my left leg swelled and I could not put any weight on it after the Miss Santa Holiday 5K. It was just a few weeks after the massage therapist I was working with at the time said to me, “Right now your right leg is leading the dance and I am waiting for your left leg to speak to me.” He told me that my left leg was still encased. What an intention to set for someone but, as a trauma survivor, I learned to settle telling myself that he had my best interest at heart.
But that horrible knee injury and the pain and frustration that followed led me to two beautiful healers, Dr. Ryan Means and Jeffrey Spratt, MT; two men who would help me complete what I set out to do 10 years ago when I left my award winning career as a VA social worker to heal my life.
In Sunday's ShakeOut (TM) Massage with Jeffrey we talked about the process of my recovery. I shared with him the exhilaration of an 11 mile run on an unfamiliar route. We talked about how I am reclaiming a sense of adventure in my life. I went from taking baby steps to return to running, then running on familiar routes, then gingerly setting goals. After training for my comeback race, the Finish at the 50 5K in July of 2015, I boldly set the goal of running the Bermuda Half Marathon in January of this year.
I had not traveled in 8 years before going to Bermuda in January. Two weeks ago I went to New York City and in January we return to Bermuda to run my 2nd CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon.
Jeffrey is adamant about teaching clients self care especially when taking on an endurance event. We reviewed what I could do to address some issues I was having with my right knee and right foot. He went deep and was aggressive in a quality positive touch kind of way during the ShakeOut (TM) Massage to relieve the congestion that comes with training for a Half Marathon and to also maintain positive momentum in my healing from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. It is so new for me to practice self care after having experienced decades of self loathing and dissociating from my body in response to trauma and paralytic polio.
I felt amazing after the session.
Yesterday I felt a lot of discomfort in my right knee with swelling. It's the anniversary of that knee injury; interestingly enough it was my left knee that was injured but body memories and imprints can manifest in interesting ways some times. I swam and had a great pool workout although I could still feel how my right knee was swollen and painful.
I took a hot shower and flushed with ice cold water. I remembered the delicious albeit "hurts so good" sensations of Jeffrey's ShakeOut (TM) Massage. This thought came to me. "I created this so I can uncreate it." I felt this opening in my knee and leg and a burning sensation from whatever stale energy was stuck in there draining out. Today I did the Arc Trainer and Bike and the swelling and pain are completely gone. My right knee had been the site of a lot of violence and was also in an ankle to hip cast when I was 11 years old. My right knee had been buckling and since there were no MRI's or CT Scans back in the day, the orthopedist guessed that it might have been a loose piece of cartilage that could be fixed with being in a cast for 6 weeks -- oh and because they did not want me to miss school, decided summertime was the best time for me to be in a cast.
In last week's treatment with Jeffrey we did a lot of work with my arms and hands. This past week I felt an opening from my scapula down my arm and decided to try something new. This might not seem like a big deal to you but to a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma whose functioning of arms and hands was compromised it was a very big deal to me. I was able to toss a roll of toilet paper upstairs! Now come on how many times has a member of your household been caught short and asks you to toss up a roll of toilet paper...oh really? Well it happens a lot in our house and I'd never been able to clear the flight of stairs to have the roll land on the top landing. I felt a wondrous new connection happen. It will take a lot of practice to keep that connection firing up on a consistent basis but I can feel it and picture it in my mind's eye.
As I read through and edit "Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance,"
I am struck by how my life has changed since meeting Dr. Ryan (who turned me onto quantum healing) and working with him until he left for China, and partnering with Jeffrey. I no longer have to monitor my energy levels and make choices; I am training and living a full life. I no longer live in fear of my body betraying me again; I can trust in my body's tremendous capacity to heal and see myself as healthy, whole, healed and strong turning possibility into reality.
The process of recovery continues. Memories continue to surface and I can look at them through the eyes of compassion allowing myself to grieve for all that happened to me and for me AND I celebrate this miraculous journey of recovery. I continue to experience awe and wonder at how I can reclaim my advantage and reclaim my life despite the horrendous events of my past.
Getting excited for Bermuda Marathon Weekend -- 38 days and counting!
To your health and wellness,