Joy in Recovery! Joy in Creation!

The truth can now be shared about what a challenge I experienced training for my 3rd Bermuda Half Marathon in as many years. I planned to take a break after my 2nd Bermuda Half Marathon in 2017. It was a rough race for me and I struggled from mile 10-13.1.

Yet I refused to quit and with the help of the Divine, an earth angel at mile 12, and my incredible partner in life and on the roads, Tom, I crossed that finish line.



But when the Race Director sought me out to find out what he can do to have you return to Bermuda and offers an invitational entry along with a great rate at the Fairmont Southampton Princess, the host hotel, Tom and I decided to go for it. When Ruth Anne came home to live us with in May after quite the journey with severe depression and PTSD, we decided to reunite Team McManus to go the distance.

I'm continuing to heal from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma rebuilding an infrastructure of neuromuscular conditions that had once been ravaged by paralytic polio followed by enduring years of child abuse. Yet I knew that with meditation, visualization, being greater than my physical body and making positive changes in my life, I would go the distance.

I experienced a lot of tightness in my right hip, groin and back area. As I put on more miles, the area got tighter and I had a muscle strain in my right hip area. I was so grateful for a long taper time this year and focused on mental preparation. I remembered how I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon with a left shoulder issue and a right groin muscle pull. I only had to go half as far in Bermuda.

My fears tried to tamper with me and I tempered them with Love from the Divine and feeling the love and blessings from our running village.

What joy to go the distance and cross the finish line as Team McManus:


Now it's time to experience the joy in recovery!

I am taking the time I planned to take after last January's race (and I'm so happy I went for the threepeat) to focus on my healing journey once more. For the first time in my healing journey I feel only joy and happiness that I have this opportunity to recover and to focus on transformation and transcending my past with renewed fervor and passion. I walk as if I can already run a 12 minute mile, dance in a Zumba class and spin in a spinning class. I am flexible and graceful as I was before polio and trauma took its toll. I feel deep joy to realize that I have this opportunity for creation to go beyond previous limits and set and achieve new goals for myself. I am so grateful and happy, so healthy and whole that I feel as if it's all already happened.

I am building strength and have the sore muscles to prove it with swimming twice a week, walking once a week for now until my right hip/groin/back issue completely resolves, strength training and using the bike at the gym. Once everything is more balanced and the pain from my muscle strain resolves, I am going to venture out into the unknown, uncharted territory of movement for me. I remind myself that:



and:


I am so excited for these next chapters in my healing journey! Thanks for following along.

To your health and well being
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Proud to be a part of Friends of Blue Diamond Athletic Displays, Inc.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Run Bermuda! Run Happy! Transformation Tuesday: Taming the Dragon

The Gift of Polio
Thank you God for the gift of polio that brought me so close to you
while paralyzed I saw your face no matter what I’d do
Many wonderful healers you sent them to me at age 5
perseverance and triumph life’s lessons learned
but my Spirit could not yet thrive.

At age 53 the gift was sent to me a second time
having time to sit and feel to heal I started to rhyme.
The second time felt worse than the first
yet your love and wisdom I found
out of pain and weakness and fatigue a remarkable spirit rebound.

Reliving all the trauma of special shoes and such
I discovered remarkable healers who brought a loving touch.
I had no clue I had such strength and the ability to grow
no matter what the outcome deep gratitude I show.

This gift so precious I live a new life gratitude flows from me
my heart and soul are filled with grace each day’s a gift from thee.
from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life"

If you look at my Facebook posts about my weekly training cycles and photos of our weekly runs on the road to Bermuda Marathon Weekend, you would never know the challenges I face every day.

Shortly after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease by Western Medicine standards, I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul. In my poems I wrote about gratitude, being happy, healthy and whole, splashing in puddles and running unencumbered and free reclaiming my life from the thieves of childhood who tried to steal my life.

I knew that until I was grateful for everything that happened to me and embraced what happened to me as a gift, I was not going to be able to heal my life.

I used to feel and get physically stuck in my body. I would literally freeze in different moments throughout my day such as attempting to get off the toilet without leaning on the sink, freezing at the top of the stairs needing to grasp the banister and go down one step at a time and could not propriocept doing a squat. Those were a result of the severe childhood trauma I experienced coupled with having contracted the paralytic polio virus at age 5.

I met a chiropractor healer, Dr. Ryan J. Means, in early 2015 and all that began to change. Ironically it took a very serious knee injury and negative encounters with the providers I was working with at the time that brought me to Dr. Ryan's table. He prescribed Theraband Stabilizers, strengthening exercises and showed me how to do a squat at the wall loosening up my once frozen patterns combined with the art and science of chiropractic care.

I remember the day I just stood up from the toilet without needing to hold on to anything. It was a combination of creating a new neural net and strengthening the muscles I needed to use to perform such a simple act, yet for me one that reflected powerful healing happening in my mind, body and soul. And what joy I discovered when I could, gingerly at first, and then effortlessly bound down the front steps to my house without the bannister!

On Sunday, Team McManus went to the Wellesley Boston Sports Club to cross train. I worked out in the pool. I didn't see any steps to walk into the pool. I reminded myself how strong my arms are and easily and with confidence lowered myself into the pool. When it came time to get out of the pool, I went over to the steps ... only these steps were not the metal steps that give the space I need to climb out of the pool; these steps were built into the side of the pool.

As I got to the top step, there was a very narrow margin for me to navigate my way onto the deck. There was a big step from the top step to the deck. As I held onto the bars with no easy solution for getting myself out of the pool, I was about to ask the lifeguard for help. I asked God for help and I harnessed the power of Divine Intelligence within me. I organized myself neurologically, took a deep confident breath along with one giant step up and lo and behold I did it! It was one giant step forward for me in my healing journey.

I do not allow all the things that have happened to my body define me or defy me but I do honor the challenges I experience in taking on the challenges I choose to take on in my life - like training for and running Bermuda Half Marathon III.



One of my s-heroes throughout my healing journey has been Wilma Rudolph, a polio survivor who went on to win Olympic Gold.



When I was training for the 2009 Boston Marathon, my personal trainer told me about her story and insisted I google her. Her quotes inspire me when the going gets tough.



I am blessed by my amazing village. Ruth Anne and Tom support and encourage me every step and every mile of the way on and off of the roads. I have an incredible village on line and in real life who embrace me and my journey. They celebrate my accomplishments and give me the strength and inspiration I need to tame the dragon! Oh what treasures I have discovered within myself and in life.



Go the distance with strength and courage,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Going the Distance: Never Tell Me the Odds

The deck was stacked against me since I contracted polio at the age of 5 years old. Dropping to the ground with no warning in Kindergarten class on June 3, 1959 began the challenges I would have to face throughout my life. Three years later my father became alcoholic and 9 years of emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual assaults followed until his suicide when I was 17 years old. Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease by Western Medicine Standards.

My life in many ways has been like an adventure movie. I have battled evil, fought for my life, and take on incredible challenges like running the 2009 Boston Marathon against all odds shortly after coming out of a wheelchair and a leg brace and having been told that I would spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, or training for a threepeat of the Bermuda Half Marathon.

Every time that somebody told me I shouldn't or couldn't do something, I turned around and said, "Watch me now."

I'll be turning 64 years old on Christmas Day. As I realize that I've lived more of my life than I have yet to live, it's a wonderful time to take a look back at the incredible tapestry of my life.

The odds of becoming high school valedictorian after having contracted paralytic polio and fighting for my life every night were quite slim. The odds of being honored by Alpha Sigma Nu, the Jesuit Honor Society at Boston College after needing 4 years to complete my MSW having suffered a 6 week hospital stay and having nearly lost the use of my right arm due to a misdiagnosed staph infection were quite slim. I was told I wouldn't/shouldn't/couldn't run again after a serious knee injury in December of 2014 yet here I am now training 5 days a week for a threepeat of the 2018 Bermuda Marathon Weekend. It takes dedication, hard work, perseverance, fierce determination to beat the odds. At times, it's a messy and uncertain journey that requires trusting The Force with all of my heart and soul.



And speaking of that pesky knee injury in December of 2014 ... I was told that my MRI indicated, among many other things, an atrophied gastroc muscle. "That's been atrophied since you had the polio," a doctor declared with great certainty. In a cavalier tone and gesture he went on to say, "You'll never get that back."

Never tell me the odds especially when blessed to find my way to a most remarkable chiropractor, Dr. Ryan J. Means who in an equal cavalier manner told me to set goals not limits. We decided that together we would grow a new gastroc muscle. With faith, KT tape,


visualization and gastroc strengthening exercises, we have indeed grown a new gastroc muscle!

Obstacles are a part of life. Battling the odds so that, much like in a Star Wars or Indiana Jones, integrity, goodness and The Force prevail is all a part of life's journey. At times in my life the odds were against me but I look beyond circumstances and the odds. So please never tell me the odds because I'll tell you this...I have and will continue to triumphantly beat them at every turn!

Go the distance with strength and courage!
~Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

My First Trip in 8 Years! Courage and Triumph!

I was reflecting on the difference between baggage claim at Logan Airport and the Bermuda Airport. "You step out of the plane and before you descend the steps you breathe in the fragrant tropical air," I told him. Baggage claim is small and quiet and everyone is so excited to be there. I paused for a moment and remembered how, 8 years ago, the last trip I took, there was a wheelchair waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. On January 14th, I will bound down the stairs ready to embrace our Bermuda adventure having spent these last 7 months training hard.

When I walked out of the door this morning, there was ice everywhere. Before Tom and I realized how slippery it was prompting him to go back in the house and put down sand, I navigated my way from the front door to the car in the driveway. I kept my balance and felt my core strength fire up as I walked carefully on the ice.

Fear of being outdoors in winter and walking on ice was finally conquered. I have the core strength and the balance now. I felt as though I was walking on water.

The doctors wanted me to take drugs for osteoporosis and told me a cautionary tale about going out in winter. They told me to use a cane with an ice gripper on the bottom.

I was always afraid of winter weather because I lacked confidence and strength in my body after contracting paralytic polio and then experiencing 9 years of severe trauma. After the diagnosis of post polio syndrome and osteoporosis, the fear initially spiked and I did have my blue cane with an ice gripper walking ever so gingerly but I met an angel of a personal trainer who said that I was old before my time and she worked with me to train for the 2009 Boston Marathon.

It was the first time I was outdoors in winter for any significant length of time. Marathon Sports outfitted and continues to outfit Team McManus to make sure we had everything we needed for cold weather running. I harnessed the power of my imagination to visualize warm lava flowing through my legs as I trained through one of the most grueling New England winters in history (of course it was nothing compared to the winter of 2014 with its record breaking snows).

I wrote the poem Courage from "Feel the Heal, available on Amazon after a training run around Jamaica Pond:

Courage

The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.

A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.

Branches now bejeweled though bare bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.

A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.

We have been so blessed that winter waited to arrive until now. Our last 11 miler should be in the 40's and sunny so we'll only have a few 3 mile runs to stay loose in cold weather. I believe that every step of this journey to the Bermuda Half Marathon has been showered with grace. Oh sure we trained in cool rain, chilly weather, heat and humidity during the summer. I even took a tumble on our 6.5 miler. Overall it's been an amazing training journey.

I was and am unstoppable! Two weeks from tomorrow I board a plane for Bermuda; my first trip in 8 years. After last December's knee injury I had to muster up the courage to start over again not knowing where I might land. Who knew it was going to be on that beautiful Island of Bermuda running a half marathon again! I am savoring every moment leading up to my Bermuda Half Marathon run. I feel a wellspring of joy bubble up within me. I feel triumphant and I am ready to ring in 2016 leaving the past behind.