My First Trip in 8 Years! Courage and Triumph!

I was reflecting on the difference between baggage claim at Logan Airport and the Bermuda Airport. "You step out of the plane and before you descend the steps you breathe in the fragrant tropical air," I told him. Baggage claim is small and quiet and everyone is so excited to be there. I paused for a moment and remembered how, 8 years ago, the last trip I took, there was a wheelchair waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. On January 14th, I will bound down the stairs ready to embrace our Bermuda adventure having spent these last 7 months training hard.

When I walked out of the door this morning, there was ice everywhere. Before Tom and I realized how slippery it was prompting him to go back in the house and put down sand, I navigated my way from the front door to the car in the driveway. I kept my balance and felt my core strength fire up as I walked carefully on the ice.

Fear of being outdoors in winter and walking on ice was finally conquered. I have the core strength and the balance now. I felt as though I was walking on water.

The doctors wanted me to take drugs for osteoporosis and told me a cautionary tale about going out in winter. They told me to use a cane with an ice gripper on the bottom.

I was always afraid of winter weather because I lacked confidence and strength in my body after contracting paralytic polio and then experiencing 9 years of severe trauma. After the diagnosis of post polio syndrome and osteoporosis, the fear initially spiked and I did have my blue cane with an ice gripper walking ever so gingerly but I met an angel of a personal trainer who said that I was old before my time and she worked with me to train for the 2009 Boston Marathon.

It was the first time I was outdoors in winter for any significant length of time. Marathon Sports outfitted and continues to outfit Team McManus to make sure we had everything we needed for cold weather running. I harnessed the power of my imagination to visualize warm lava flowing through my legs as I trained through one of the most grueling New England winters in history (of course it was nothing compared to the winter of 2014 with its record breaking snows).

I wrote the poem Courage from "Feel the Heal, available on Amazon after a training run around Jamaica Pond:

Courage

The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.

A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.

Branches now bejeweled though bare bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.

A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.

We have been so blessed that winter waited to arrive until now. Our last 11 miler should be in the 40's and sunny so we'll only have a few 3 mile runs to stay loose in cold weather. I believe that every step of this journey to the Bermuda Half Marathon has been showered with grace. Oh sure we trained in cool rain, chilly weather, heat and humidity during the summer. I even took a tumble on our 6.5 miler. Overall it's been an amazing training journey.

I was and am unstoppable! Two weeks from tomorrow I board a plane for Bermuda; my first trip in 8 years. After last December's knee injury I had to muster up the courage to start over again not knowing where I might land. Who knew it was going to be on that beautiful Island of Bermuda running a half marathon again! I am savoring every moment leading up to my Bermuda Half Marathon run. I feel a wellspring of joy bubble up within me. I feel triumphant and I am ready to ring in 2016 leaving the past behind.

Our Cape Cod Runcation - Part I

It happens every time we drive over the Bourne Bridge. Stress and tension melt away and we know we are transported to our happy place.



So much of what we were experiencing last year at this time had resolved and Tom and I were feeling incredibly grateful for the abundance, peace, happiness and health now manifesting in our lives.

Our first stop was the Expo:


once again presented by Marathon Sports:


After Tom picked up his bib and bag, we went to see our friends at Janji. Please take a few moments and check out their website. Their motto is Run For Another. It's a tradition that we buy something "Janji" whenever we see them at an Expo to support the incredible work they are doing. I opted for a new hat this year.

Do you have any idea how amazing it was to share with Mike, creator of Janji that I am back on the roads and up to 9 miles training for the Bermuda Half Marathon? Mike knows my journey and he was overjoyed to share in my return to the roads.

While we were talking our dear friend, Colin Peddie, Owner of Marathon Sports came over to say hello. We have been part of the Marathon Sports family since 2008 and Colin agrees that we are all running family. I told him that I am working now and back on the roads training for the Bermuda Half. It was one of those magical conversations that you just know was orchestrated by the Divine. I am so excited to see where that moment leads both of us in our passion for what we do!

It was time for pre race/pre support crew fueling and we went back to La Cucina Sul Mare.

Tom and I indulged in savoring these two dishes which we couldn't finish because of the portion sizes:



We had impeccable service and even got to meet the co owner Mark on our way out. He is literally chief cook and bottle washer as our waitress Patricia explained to us.

We decided to unwind with a West Wing episode and chose, "Noel" which I wrote about in my recent post, "Compassionate Presence."

A perfect ending to the day and was a great way to unwind in anticipation of race day....

To be continued....

My Running Chronicles: #tbt My First 5 Mile Road Race - A Defining Moment

July 2008 - the Marathon Sports Annual 5 Mile Road Race. No time like the present to get acclimated to road racing. My first road race was in June 2008, the Corrib Pub Road Race. It was a 5K distance and the neighborhood came out in droves to cheer, to offer water and to hose us down. Tom, my husband, my life and running partner would shout out to the people cheering us on that I was a survivor of paralytic polio and this was my first road race ever. The time didn't matter. I was out there doing something I'd never done before and I was training for the 2009 Boston Marathon. I hadn't run for more than 40 minutes continuously so I had to walk for part of the race. There were still many people finishing with us and I felt triumphant finishing my first road race:



By July, we had become members of the Marathon Sports family. I was fitted for my first pair of running shoes at Marathon Sports in February and they were enthralled with my journey.

The atmosphere was quite different from the Corrib Pub and it was a very fast field. Everyone took off and Tom had to convince me that it was okay; that we were just going to run our race. There were a few back of the packers but there were no spectators and we had no idea where we were or where we were going. Talk about trust and faith.

From Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility:

Our first 5 mile race was the Marathon Sports 5 miler. It was a hot, steamy evening in July. We got lost on the way to the race. Tempers were running as hot as the thermometer because I was so anxious about running my first five mile race. My energy tended to wane by the evening as I was continuing to deal with the late effects of paralytic polio. We finally arrived and walked around trying to enjoy the pre race festivities. As everyone took their place at the start, I could see that this was a serious, competitive running crowd; quite a contrast to my first race ever, the Corrib Pub Run 5K in June.

Runners went out fast and Tom, Ruth Anne and I were in the back of the pack with a few other people. Even they took off and I told Ruth Anne to go out ahead of us. I experienced my first (of many) marathon training meltdowns. I cried as I shared with Tom all the memories of having kids take off and leave me behind that were bubbling to the surface. I was sweating and tired and hot. I couldn’t tell where my tears ended and sweat began. I told Tom I had no business training for the Boston Marathon. Tom was wonderful and he told me that I couldn’t quit. We would make it through this race and we would make it through every training run. He believed in me when I did not believe in myself. I did know, however, that if I didn’t finish that race, I would never make it to the starting line of the Boston Marathon. Alison gave me water and a high five out on the course. She was worried about me in the heat and wanted to make sure I was okay.

Despite finishing dead last, members of the Marathon Sports family who knew the story of Team McManus, had air horns and a truck on the field honking and blowing and cheering us on to the finish. Ruth Anne circled back around to bring us into the finish line. She was there at the finish line to give me a hug and celebrate my first 5 mile road race ever. I knew training for Boston was not going to be easy, but I knew I had what it was going to take to make it happen.

The Marathon Sports 5 Miler was a defining moment for me early on in my running career. I learned about how the running community celebrates the last runner as though they were the one to break the finisher's tape and how wonderful it feels to be celebrated for going beyond limits. I realized that I had to leave the past behind and could not carry the taunting and teasing voices from the past with me in my head. I learned that I was stronger than I thought I was and there is always something left in the tank especially when the journey is fueled by love, support and kindness.

I'm moving forward and carrying that defining moment in my heart on the road to the 2016 Newport Marathon along with the beautiful friendships that have blessed my life during these past 7 years. I'm excited to experience the thrill of racing again on July 3rd at the Finish at the 50 5K at Gillette Stadium and eager to begin building miles after the race. The joy is in the journey even when you don't have any idea where you are or how you are going to make it to the finish line.



BE BLESSED! JOURNEY WELL! TO ALL GOOD THINGS.....

I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.


50% of book proceeds from all of my books, available on Amazon are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center to support 4/15/13 Boston Strong survivors and their families.

I am working on my new book, Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems which brings together my best poems of the last 8 years and will include my latest poems as I continue to feel the heal and move forward in my life.

Transformation Tuesday - The Answer is Running

Eight years ago I had to wear a short leg brace and used a wheelchair at times for mobility.



It was a scary time in my life as my mind, body and Spirit seemed to be withering away. Yet there was a part of me that would not quit and that has not quit over and over and over again. When I got still and asked for Divine Guidance, the answer came back ... running ... a poem about Running the Race.

Here I am in December of 2007 three months after starting work with a personal trainer. I still didn't know why I wrote that poem about running a race and in my mind, focusing on a 10K race...



But in February of 2008, when my personal trainer asked me what my next goals were the answer became clear {from my memoir, "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" available on Amazon with 50% of royalty payments being donated to The One Fund}:

At my six-month evaluation in February, I had dramatically improved in every area of the assessment. I had come out of my leg brace and I knew that I was on a healing path. Janine asked me what my next health and fitness goals were.
“Well I want to feel free in my body. I want to dance. I want to be able to walk outside and feel unencumbered when I take a walk.”

Janine wrote feverishly and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”

Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house and put down her things. She said that the first thing I would need is a pair of running shoes. She told me that Marathon Sports on Beacon Street would be able to help me. She laid out a cursory training plan and said that we would begin indoors to build up my cardio endurance. As soon as the weather got a little warmer, we’d go outdoors and I would learn how to run.

What had I just done?

Don't Walk -- Run article in the Brookline Tab featuring my first steps on the road to the 2009 Boston Marathon:



Celebrating after my first road race in June 2008, The Corrib Pub 5K Road Race:


I was ready to give up the idea that I would ever be a runner during the hot and humid Marathon Sports 5 Miler in July of 2008 but Tom and my Marathon Sports Family would not let me quit:


My first 10K was the 2008 Tufts Health Plan 10K for Women:


Then it came time to test my mettle and commitment to my journey of transformation as the winter of 2008/2009 brought wind chills and snow storms. I would be undeterred at the Tough Ten Mile Turkey Trot and the Hyannis Half:


When you know Bill Rodgers and Frank Shorter are cheering for you, it does make the journey so much sweeter.

The aches, the pains, the blisters; training in the freezing cold and when we couldn't, going 117 times around the BU track was all worth it when I crossed the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and received my medal:


And then I forgot the answer is running and took a detour as I write about in my next book, "Journey Well"


I can't look back at the detours or kick myself for not keeping up with my running. I remember the day I was at South Boston Yoga for a “bodywork session” after having run a 5K sponsored by the Rotary in New Hampshire. It was a very hilly course. The mind games had already begun as he preyed on my vulnerability.

“What did you do to your quad muscles?” he asked me.

“I ran a 5K race,” I told him.

He mocked me with a laugh and proclaimed, “You don’t have to beat yourself up by running. It’s not good for you. All you need to do is practice yoga.”

“I can’t practice yoga here with you.” {Oh if only I listened to myself and the truths I spoke and felt at first blush}. I was referencing the fact that he was the head of his studio, an experienced yogi and well I didn’t belong in a class with a “yogi of his caliber.”

That’s all he needed to hear.

“We are having live cello music this Sunday,” he said seductively as I was paying him for the session.

“Well we are going on a run Sunday morning,” I replied.

“If you’d rather go on a run than come experience my class”….he said coyly.

“Oh no, I’ll be there,” I said….

It was the only choice available to me at the time. I was hurting mind, body and Spirit. I wanted to belong. I didn’t trust in my own power and ability to heal. I believed that if somehow I could shed my polio body from the outside in, I could stop hurting.

Running the 2009 Boston Marathon transformed me mind, body and Spirit. There was no way I could not return to the sport and community that were at the center of my journey of healing and transformation. That voice inside of me that knew all along that the answer is running could not be silenced. On Monday, as I cross the starting line of the Tufts Health Plan 10K for Women, the answer will once again ring loud and true.