Run Bermuda! Run Happy! On Hope & Confidence and Buffalo Wings

By all appearances, I should not be running Half Marathons at the age of almost 64 years old after the diagnosis 10 years of Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease by Western Medicine Standards. As Anthony Raynor, Race Director for Bermuda Marathon Weekend said when he was at our house recently for lunch, "You sure know how to mess up people's credibility."

As Walt Disney once said, "It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

During my meditations, I have been focusing on healing, confidence and hope knowing that I can go the distance on the road to my threepeat of the Bermuda Half Marathon 2018. Last week's training run was a tremendous confidence booster! I realize now my body had been fighting a virus all week long; to go out and get in the miles and complete my training plan without missing a beat was quite the accomplishment!

Waking up this morning and feeling well after a week of feeling under the weather due to stress, seeing beautiful blue skies, low humidity and sunshine was a gift. I expressed my gratitude during morning meditation. We did our core work, had our breakfast, packed up our hydration and fueling and out the front door we went. We were planning to just stay at the small reservoir and do 6 loops but halfway through, Ruth Anne and I needed to make a pit stop. We decided to finish with 3 loops, take a pit stop at home and then finish our run around the big reservoir at Cleveland Circle.

"What does my Nike+ say?" I asked Ruth Anne.

"3.00 miles."

"What? We had our water stop at 3 miles awhile ago. How is that possible?"

Tom checked his Garmin. "We're at 3.86 miles."

"Oh no," I groaned. "It didn't restart after I hit resuming workout after 3 miles."

We realized we'd have to go by his Garmin rather than my Nike+ for total distance.

Do you ever wonder about the conversations that happen during a Team McManus training run?

Sometimes we work out different issues we need to address or talk politics, music, sports or current events.

We enjoy being together and love the special time of being unplugged, out in nature, doing something so wonderful for mind, body and soul. What a thrill to have our sights set on Bermuda Marathon Weekend.

We do have one cardinal rule for conversation on our training runs. There is no talking about "what's for lunch" until we our halfway through the run.

Ruth Anne broke that rule today and all she could say well before we hit the 4 mile mark was how much she wanted wings for lunch today.

We talked about the pros and cons of having wings as part of a post long run meal.

"Did you guys ever want wings when you were training last year?" Ruth Anne asked.

"Did we ever. I don't know what it was but we would go to Pace's in the Seaport area after running Castle Island and South Boston and I had to have wings."

Well rules are made to be broken right and we started talking about foods we'd eat after our long runs last year.

After our pit stop we picked up the pace and ran down Eliot Street to the Cleveland Circle Reservoir.

What a beautiful day with geese, turtles, the sun glistening off of the Reservoir and Team McManus getting in our miles.

After a 1.6 mile loop it was time to calculate how much farther we needed to run to meet our 8 mile goal for the day.

Tom miscalculated how much extra we needed to do at the Reservoir and we hit the 8 mile mark before we were back at home.

Rather than use it as a cool down, I suggested we keep going.

As we do at the end of every training run as we approach the "finisher's chute" we imagine how we are going to feel in Bermuda.

We join hands and raise them high in triumphant jubilation.

At the end of today's run we deposited 8.2 miles in the Bank of Bermuda.



And do you know what we had with our salad and smoothies for lunch?

Buffalo and bbq wings - what else?

We feel incredibly accomplished and move forward on the road to Bermuda with hope, confidence, faith and optimism knowing that a threepeat of Bermuda (and Ruth Anne's first Bermuda Half Marathon) is well within our reach.

Go the distance with strength and courage!
~Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Run Bermuda! Run Happy! It's a Sign! A Quarter and a Penny From Heaven!

When Team McManus trained for the 2009 Boston Marathon we were sent so many signs with finding money during our training. I was waiting for my daughter to get off the train at Cleveland Circle one day and walked back and forth to stretch my legs. On the wall of the Citi Bank branch there was a pile of change. There was no one around to ask if the money belonged to them. We had lunch and when we came out the money was still there so I brought it home. As we sorted the pennies, nickels and dimes, they sorted out according to the mileage for our upcoming training runs.

One of my favorite memories that is chronicled in my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

As we were heading out along Beacon Street here in Brookline, Mass., I saw a penny. Those of you who have read my blog know that we have had a lot of signs with finding money while we trained. There were a herd of runners behind us and I knew that if I stopped to pick this penny up, I could get trampled and then where would I be after a year of training and being on the threshold of running the Marathon. So I felt God's Presence and ran on. While on Heartbreak Hill, my daughter stopped in her tracks. Buried in the crack in the sidewalk on Heartbreak Hill, my daughter spotted a quarter - not just any quarter but a quarter dedicated to Helen Keller. Her quotes and life story have always been a major source of inspiration to me and Bernie Siegel, MD (who through the years has been a guiding healing light for me) has quoted her so many times in his talks, books and on his forum. During the last two miles of our training run, we found two more pennies - 27 cents! Not 26 but 27 so God is letting us know that we have what we need to go the distance....



My dear friend, healer and chosen dad Bernie Siegel, MD who was so supportive of my 2009 Boston Marathon run in the wake of the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome a progressive neuromuscular disease by Western Medicine Standards told me to look for the penny at the start....You'll know that I and God are with you! Well at a little past the halfway mark in Wellesley, I found "the penny!" It gave me that extra push to get through Heartbreak Hill and get to the finish line!

Last year I found a series of dimes.



FDR's image, the words Liberty and In God We Trust are on the dime; a reminder to trust in my healing journey and to stay focused on my freedom and liberation from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. FDR's wife Eleanor Roosevelt's quotes are inspiring!



The other day our daughter Ruth Anne who ran the 2009 Boston Marathon with us, found a quarter. She knew that she needed to keep her eyes open for a penny...a sign that once again Team McManus would go the distance together. Even though we are running the Bermuda Half Marathon (notice I deliberately did not say "only" the half marathon), we were ecstatic when she did, indeed, find the penny!



This is the beginning of a new journey for Team McManus as we train for the Bermuda Half Marathon and travel together as a Team to that beautiful Island in January.

Tomorrow we run another 5.5 miles. We are slowly building our miles with patience, trust and faith. I can do a threepeat of the Bermuda Half Marathon even though I have never run 3 consecutive half marathons in my life! I draw strength and confidence from the signs that surround! We are once again being showered by Grace and abundance on our journey's way.

Go the distance with strength and courage!
~Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Run Bermuda! Run Happy! "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

In a few short weeks Team McManus begins their formal training for the Bermuda Half Marathon. I'm going to do something I've never done before - a Threepeat as my Facebook friend Nicole calls my running the Bermuda Half Marathon for the third consecutive year.

I have to admit that I'm a little scared and a whole lot excited.

There are whispers of the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome as I recently marked the 10 year anniversary of when I left my award winning career at the VA to heal my life from the effects of polio and trauma. There are faint echoes of all of the therapists, doctors and even a former massage therapist I worked with for almost a year who say this can't be done and this shouldn't be happening.

Of course I know that:


Can I really trust my body to go the distance training for a third CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon?

Do I have the physical and mental mettle I need to go the distance?

What am I trying to prove anyway?

The words of Helen Keller come to mind:


and this quote that is one of my favs:


So I will be doing the thing I thought I could not do - to trust my body knowing that I can go the distance for a threepeat training for and then running my 3rd CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon.

This time I get to go the distance with my bestie AND our daughter Ruth Anne that will make the journey that much sweeter and inspire me in my training. We will inspire each other and those who follow the adventures of Team McManus. While there may be moments of fear and doubt along the journey's way, Team McManus will prevail!

To going the distance with strength and courage!
~Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Going the Distance: Celebrating 10 Years of Healing: A Daring Adventure

Next Thursday marks 10 years since I took a leap of faith leaving behind an incredible salary and an award winning career as a VA social worker. Fortunately, when the Team at Spaulding Rehab's International Rehab Center for Polio and Post Polio told me that the only hope for stabilizing the symptoms I experienced of Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease, my husband said it was a no brainer for me to quit.

It was rather a rather daring move on my part to withdraw the $60,000 in my retirement account and pay the tax penalty, and not really have a plan for money or a career. There was a force within me that said I needed to "heal my life". At the time I did not realize that what needed healing was the effects of paralytic polio and severe childhood trauma.

I had a vision for the life I wanted to create in the future. During the 6 weeks after giving my notice, I spent a lot of time imagining that life as though it was already happening in my present life. I had a loose plan for my business, New World Greeting Cards, original poetry for every occasion and fancied myself becoming a NY Times Bestselling Author with my poetry books.

My nurse manager thought I'd gone mad when I told her that I was leaving the VA and pleaded with me to reconsider my exit after initially embracing me and the need to heal my life. "You can't do this," I was told by my colleagues and I quietly showed them that yes I could.

I left on a wing and a prayer working to heal myself with the inspirational poetry that flowed out of me.

Despite the warnings from the Post-Polio Team at Spaulding Rehab, I harnessed the faith of my beloved physical therapist at another Spaulding location who refused to treat me like a polio survivor and held the belief that I could get stronger and heal. I dared to hire a personal trainer to see if I could get stronger and when I asked her what she thought about my situation at the time she said:


I dared to set a goal to run the 2009 Boston Marathon shortly after coming out of my leg brace six months after working with my personal trainer. When we first started working together, I couldn't pass the initial evaluation.

I dared at every turn to move forward in my journey ditching so called therapeutic modalities that weren't working for me and getting out of toxic situations and relationships that I was drawn to because of my past.

I was terrified and had no idea what the future held for me - if I even had a future given how I felt at the time and given the diagnosis and prognosis I was given.

Here I am - 10 years later, poised and ready to train for my 3rd CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon, financially stable, training 5 days a week,an accomplished poet, author, endurance runner, blogger and motivational speaker.

And to all those naysayers who told me that I couldn't possibly quit my award winning VA social work career just 3 years shy of when I was "eligible" to retire, who said that I was facing a future in a wheelchair and there was no way that I would/should/could ever be a runner; to all those who told me I was taking too big a risk and really needed to reconsider what I was doing I have 3 words....HOLD MY BEER! because after all life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.


To going the distance with strength and courage!
~Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):


Mary McManus, MSW knew challenges since she was five years old beginning with contracting polio followed by enduring nine years of violence at the hands of family members. Those early challenges prepared her for taking on the challenge of the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease in December 2006 when she was at the height of her award winning career as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs. Asking for Divine Guidance as she had throughout her trials and tribulations, she discovered the gift of poetry in her soul. Her first poem, “Running the Race,” foreshadowed her 2009 Boston Marathon run. “Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance,” chronicles Mary’s journey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma, as a runner and a woman who refused to quit. Eight years after her diagnosis, she was finally led to two healers, a chiropractor and a muscular therapist, who helped her reclaim her life and go the distance, a woman transformed who embodies the power of endurance.

Take a Chance

This afternoon I'm attending an informational meeting for Spaulding Rehab's Adaptive Sports Alpine Skiing program. Winter was my least favorite season. Until the winter of 2008/2009, I would hunker down, contracted, shivering and depressed waiting for winter to pass. I had difficulty regulating my thermostat as a result of the spinal cord injury from paralytic polio. I was terrified of ice because of the risk of a fall. When you drop to the ground paralyzed at age 5, it's hard to feel confidence, strength, joy and a desire to play outside during the winter months.

Training for the Boston Marathon changed all of that.

Courage January 5, 2009

The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.

A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.

Branches now bejeweled though bare bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.

A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.

I don't know if Alpine Skiing will be something for me. I've had a fear of heights but I don't want that to stop me from being able to experience a breathtaking view of nature in winter.

As with everything I've experienced during these past 8 years on this wild and wonderful healing odyssey, I don't know what's possible.

I'll never know -- until I take a chance.





The first 7 years of my healing odyssey are chronicled in Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility available on Amazon. I donate 50% of royalty payments to The One Fund Boston to help survivors and their families who were affected by the tragic events of 4/15/13.



My 2nd book, "Journey Well," is coming soon. 50% of book proceeds will be donated to AccesSportAmerica to help them continue their life changing programs:

Life is either a daring adventure...

Last night J. Alain Ferry, race director for Sunday's Spectacle Island Run posted the course map.

Um why are there caution zones I asked.

Sharp turns, 2-way sections and runners from both races getting to a split Alain replied.

Okay - thank you. Is there elevation? Regardless I'm planning to bring my A game and rock the race!

Yes, Mary - there's significant elevation which you're going to flatten like a pancake. If it were easy, everybody would be doing it, right?

That's right Alain and I eat hills for breakfast only since it's an 11:27 start time, I will eat the hills for brunch. I'm going in with 3 days rest and really really glad I'd been doing hills in my training runs. It's going to be yet another grand adventure in my life. Thank you for all of your encouragement and support Alain. You are a race director extraordinaire. This will be a great warm up for my Tufts 10K. I'm psyched!

And I had to ask one more question --
The trails are paved correct? I seem to remember reading that somewhere. #preracejitters

Nope. Hard packed dirt and grass.

And with that I went into full on panic mode. I emailed Alain asking him if maybe I need an early start or should start with the 5 milers. I hadn't trained on trails but I did run the Ogunquit Beach Lobster Dash. I call him a race director extraordinaire for a reason. He messaged me right back and said, "You'll be fine. Easier than sand. You'll crush it!"

And in reality, hard packed dirt and grass are actually easier on the body than pavement.

My sigh of relief lasted for about a minute and my nay sayers kicked into high gear. What if I get injured? Tufts is only two weeks away. Maybe I should just do a training run out on the course for Tufts ... play it safe ...

And the words of Eleanor Roosevelt echoed in my ears:


I reflected and remembered how I've felt these past few months during races and training runs and in my Adaptive Sports sessions with AccesSportAmerica taking on new challenges and pushing myself to go outside of my comfort zone.

Last night as I was wrestling with Sunday's race, I felt the presence of my physiatrist, Dr. Eugene Moskowitz. He was considered a rehabilitation expert in treating polio during the epidemics in the 50's and 60's. He also did not believe in the diagnosis of post polio syndrome as it was being framed by the medical community and wrote an editorial for the New York Times in March of 1985:

Caution and Hope On Polio 'Signs'
Published: March 3, 1985

I read with interest the article entitled ''A Group for Polio Survivors Who Have New Symptoms'' (Feb. 10).

Having supervised the rehabilitation of poliomyelitis patients at Grasslands Hospital during the epidemics of the 50's and 60's, probably including the ''then'' infants mentioned in the article, I would like to add a word of caution and even hope as an afterthought.

Firstly, there is no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cord. After 30 years, one must accept some loss of endurance, increased fatigue and even some discomfort induced by other unrelated medical problems. This is true in the athlete with repeated injuries, in the obese person with back problems and even in the jogger with foot ailments.

Any individual with paralytic disability in an extremity will experience the normal process of ''wear and tear'' except that it may be more difficult to adjust to it. Just as one learned to compensate for the initial impairment so must one adjust to the later, more subtle changes rather than develop an emotional hangup of being a ''polio victim.''

EUGENE MOSKOWITZ, M.D. Mount Vernon

I realized that, while on the one hand I was being practical checking in with Alain as the race director about my concerns, I was allowing fear to take hold. It wasn't just the polio that got me when I was 5; it was carrying the burden of the secret of incest beginning at age 8 followed by 9 years of violence, that had weighed me down and prevented me from making a full recovery from polio. I became hard wired for fear; I was at odds with my body and experiencing my own power. But now I move beyond all of that thanks to so many amazing people in my life who remind me that I can transform can'ts into cans.

I slept well and this morning, my Facebook feed was filled with inspiration and timely quotes.



I remembered this recent post from Reno Stirrat:



Perhaps the most compelling sign was on my friend Kathleen's page. She is running her first half marathon this weekend. Kathleen took photos of Tom and me out on the course and crossing the finish line when I PR'ed the Bill Rodgers 5K Run/Walk to Benefit Prostate Cancer.



And then I saw Alain's photo that he posted late last night of the view from Spectacle Island:



Every time I challenge myself, I leave my past experiences and beliefs in the dust to live a full, vibrant life in the present. I transform fear into excitement of new adventures. Because as Helen Keller so poignantly said, "Life is either a daring adventure...or nothing at all."




The first 7 years of my healing odyssey are chronicled in Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility available on Amazon. I donate 50% of royalty payments to The One Fund Boston to help survivors and their families who were affected by the tragic events of 4/15/13.



I'm working on my 2nd book, "Journey Well," due out later this year: