Run Bermuda! Run Happy! A Magical Monday Morning Run - On Beliefs and Thoughts

With the Tropical Storm warnings for "Jose", Team McManus decided that we needed to get in an outdoor run on Monday or possibly not have another opportunity to get outdoors for our runs until Thursday which is our rest day.

We swapped Monday's strength training for Wednesday's 5K. Tomorrow Tom and Ruth Anne can catch a treadmill run if it's too windy and rainy to go outside although the conditions will have to be pretty awful for them to not get in their outdoor early morning tempo run together.



Ordinarily I am quite conservative on our tempo runs while we are going the distance on our threepeat on the road to Bermuda Marathon Weekend. My focus is on getting in those miles and we had a sweet 9 miler on Saturday!

I have had this nagging feeling inside of me...I wish I could run faster. I wish I could run faster. I am so blessed that the Bermuda Marathon Weekend Race Director, Anthony Raynor, told me that as long as I finish before his last marathoner (which means finishing just under 6 hours) I'm fine and if I wanted an early start to just let the timer know on race day.

Tom and Ruth Anne tell me how much it means to them that I am out there going the distance on the road to Bermuda. They repeatedly tell me to not worry about my pace. They enjoy being out there with me for however long it takes to finish the long run.

Running another half marathon is, indeed, a whole big thing for me. The time does not matter but challenging myself and going the distance IS what matters....and yet ....

I know the best way to work on speed is with tempo runs and fartleks. And while we have been doing tempo runs that are a minute under my half marathon pace (right now), and incorporate fartleks, I've been holding back afraid of injury and afraid of going too far.



We didn't talk about the pace this morning as we donned a water belt after doing our core work and headed out the door for our 5K run.

We literally just took off!

As Tom and Ruth Anne looked at our pace they commented how we were about 30 seconds under the pace for our previous tempo runs.

Ruth Anne pushed me this morning and would not let me back down.

It reminded me of our Michael Aselton 5K race Memorial Day Weekend.

Tom and Ruth Anne commented on our pace from time to time. Feeling and knowing I was running faster than I had in a long time, finding out just what this body could do and believing I can run faster than I've been running fueled this morning's magical run.

It was humid but fortunately there was cloud cover.

As we came up one of the final hills, Ruth Anne charged out in front of me. I dug deep and pushed myself.

Coming up the final hill before we finished our 5K was an incredible effort for me. I hadn't felt those almost dead legs feeling in a very very long time. Ruth Anne and Tom kept pushing me and I kept pace. I hadn't felt the feeling of leaving nothing on the roads since that race in May.

It was my fastest time since that race in May.

This voice of I wish I could run faster has been nagging at me for several weeks now.

After our run this morning I googled Billy Mills Youtube video that has been an inspiration for me throughout my running career:


What was I believing about my going the distance? What are my thoughts about myself as a runner? Can I get out of my own way and allow the transformation and healing from paralytic polio and trauma to fully come into being? What do I want to experience as a runner?



This morning was a magical Monday morning run for Team McManus. We ran in stride together with Tom and Ruth Anne instinctively knowing what to do to help pace me and help me to push my pace.

As Walt Disney once said:


It's time for me to keep on believing, visualizing and imagining myself as I want to be; pushing my training (being mindful of course of how my body is feeling on any given day and taking exquisite care of myself to avoid injury) knowing that the time is here for me to be the runner I was always meant to be!



Go the distance with strength and courage,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Bermuda Marathon Weekend: Making a Dream Come True!

I had my sights set on running the Bermuda Marathon to celebrate my 60th birthday. I went to the race website and imagined myself out on the course. It was on my bucket list for years and then I let the dream die. Life happened.


From "Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance":
My Running Chronicles: Momentum - Keep Your Eye on the Prize July 6, 2015

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘Woo Hoo’…what a ride.” ~Unknown

During this morning's meditation, I was reflecting on momentum and as if the Universe echoed my thoughts, I found this quote after I finished my meditation and was looking for something to post on Facebook for Monday Motivation: “One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.” ~Michael Korda

There are many wonderful quotes about momentum:

“Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal momentum of the human soul and mind.” ~Bryant H. McGill

“When you're that successful, things have a momentum, and at a certain point you can't really tell whether you have created the momentum or it's creating you.” ~Annie Lennox

I took one rest day after last Friday's race and yesterday I was back at strength training on land. I maintained my reps and weights and plan to do so for this recovery week. I want to keep the momentum going from how I felt during Finish at the 50 and the anticipation of running the Bermuda Half Marathon in January. After doing a plank that I now hold for 2'15" and 45 crunches, I had my breakfast and headed to the pool at Wave Health. During meditation, I imagined what I needed for the day. A parking space and the lap lane free for me to do my workout. There was not one but two parking spaces on Northern Avenue near the Seaport. While there was a family on vacation playing in the pool, the lap lane was free. I got in my zone and did my workout. It's interesting to observe what my default thinking used to be. Don't overdo it. You could get injured. You just ran a race. You need recovery time.

But now my thinking is, come on girl - you've got this! You are training for the Bermuda Half Marathon. I was even talking out loud to myself after I did several laps of freestyle getting my heart rate up and someone walked in at that moment. I just smiled! I can feel the healing and momentum happening within me mind, body and Spirit. Fears melt away. The waters heal and fortify me and are a perfect complement to half marathon training.

Crossing the finish line of the Bermuda Half Marathon - a race I imagined running since 2010 although it was going to be the full marathon in 2013 (but who am I to quibble with the Universe) is my sweet prize. I focus on healing and building strength and endurance every day between now and January 17th when Team McManus toes the starting line of the 2016 Bermuda Half Marathon. I have a lot of work to do between now and then. I am allowing myself to feel the absolute joy in the journey. I am keeping this momentum of healing going strong with my greater goal of the Bermuda Half Marathon.

With every training run, no matter the distance, Team McManus visualized coming into the finish chute of the 2016 Bermuda Half Marathon. Although I had not been to Bermuda in 8 years it was easy to fire up my imagination of Hamilton Harbor. I watched videos of the start and finish of the race. Often times, my imagination was so vivid that I could experience the sights, sounds and scents of the Island. Tom and I brought ourselves to the height of emotion as we wrapped up training runs and I would often cry as though we had already crossed the finish line.

On the race weekend website there's a picture of the Town Crier with finishers. I imagined Team McManus taking a photo just like it with our medals:


From "Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance":
When once I could barely walk the half mile to and from town from the Rosedon, I was covering 13.1 miles of Bermuda in the Bermuda Half Marathon! The miles were magical. It was a glorious sunny day with equal amounts of shade and cooling breezes when we needed it. We could not have asked for more perfect weather for running especially given the monsoon like conditions the day before. We paced ourselves and commented how along one stretch of the course it was just as we imagined it when we trained last summer near U Mass Boston. Of course it was even more magnificent and breathtaking than we could have possibly imagined.

I remembered when I cheered on runners at the Cape Cod Marathon at mile 10, being support crew for Tom. I would shout out, “Double Digits – Almost there” anticipating the excitement I would feel when I hit mile 10 in Bermuda. Tom had to hold me back a little to leave plenty in the tank for the finish but told me once we got to mile 11, I could begin to open it up. The scene unfolded just as we imagined it coming down the hill toward Front Street passing in front of the Rosedon Hotel.

I cried and I poured it on despite having just run 12 miles.

Mile 13 -- only .1 to go. I thought we would go straight down Front Street to the finish but we had to take a turn up a hill and down a hill to get back on Front Street. There was no stopping me now. After 13 miles we poured it on and came running down to the finish holding hands with hands held high. I was crying and laughing at the same time. Through every training run we imagined hearing the announcer say as only a Bermudian can, "And here they come to the finish -- Tom and Mary McManus from Boston, Massachusetts. Welcome back to Bermuda!" In fact the announcer said, “And here comes Tom and Mary McManus of Chestnut Hill Massachusetts. Welcome to Bermuda." He said something about our running together and people came up to us saying what a cute couple we were. It was exactly as we imagined it and more. We trained hard and we trained well so that we were able to sail through those miles pacing ourselves, eating up the hills and being mindful of the downhills. We claimed what we went to Bermuda for - to send a message of healing, hope and possibility; that the body achieves what the mind believes and of course for the beautiful bling! I felt triumphant that I did not allow others to dictate what was possible for me. I set goals not limits. What a thrill to cross the finish line of the 2016 Bermuda Half Marathon and cross that item off of my bucket list. It was an amazing journey!



Now I get to celebrate ten years of healing from the effects of paralytic polio and childhood trauma. Instead of a leg brace, a cane and a wheelchair, I sport Altra running kicks. Instead of experiencing chronic pain and fatigue, I experience a full, vibrant life! Ten years after being told I "had" a progressive neuromuscular disease and should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, I am ready to train for my third CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon.

To going the distance with strength and courage!
~Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):


Mary McManus, MSW knew challenges since she was five years old beginning with contracting polio followed by enduring nine years of violence at the hands of family members. Those early challenges prepared her for taking on the challenge of the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease in December 2006 when she was at the height of her award winning career as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs. Asking for Divine Guidance as she had throughout her trials and tribulations, she discovered the gift of poetry in her soul. Her first poem, “Running the Race,” foreshadowed her 2009 Boston Marathon run. “Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance,” chronicles Mary’s journey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma, as a runner and a woman who refused to quit. Eight years after her diagnosis, she was finally led to two healers, a chiropractor and a muscular therapist, who helped her reclaim her life and go the distance, a woman transformed who embodies the power of endurance.

A dream is a wish your heart makes ....

Two of my friends are on vacation in Disney World. Their posts from last night appeared one after another in my Facebook Feed about watching the wishes fireworks!

As I drove to the Seaport Hotel's WaveHealth and Fitness Club on Monday I felt as though someone should pinch me for the charmed life I now lead.

In March of 2007 as I prepared to leave the VA to heal my life, a friend of mine suggested that I keep a 30 day journal imagining what life would be like after I left the VA. I would start every day writing on legal paper imagining a day in my life after I left the VA. I imagined freedom, joy, meeting up with amazing people in luxurious settings, exercise and working out a gym; okay so being on Oprah and touring the country as a motivational speaker was part of the vision but you know what? I have not ruled that out yet. It wasn't so much about the what but about the feeling I would bring to each day. Gratitude was an integral part of my journal giving thanks for the life that I believed was already created.

I was dreaming .. I was making wishes for a life free from struggle and suffering; a life of ease and financial freedom. I was making a wish to be able to wake up in the morning and feel energized, happy and eager to create a great day. I wished to be healthy and whole feeling free in my body. I wrote poetry about reclaiming my life.

I wrote this journal while I was still wearing a leg brace and had absolutely no idea how or when any of that was going to happen.

I wished...

And when I gave my notice at the VA, the staff thought I was crazy for chasing after my dreams of being a poet and writer and taking a leap of faith to heal my life. Little did they know what I knew....

I believed with all my heart that change was possible and that there was a future better than the present conditions I was living in in March 2007.

And I am healthy and whole healing and rewiring everything living the life of my dreams. And I continue to dream...running Falmouth in the Fall and the Bermuda Half Marathon in January with my sights set on the full Newport Marathon in 2016.

I dream of steady head and hands and feel this happening more and more every day; running swift at a 12:00 minute/mile pace. I run free and unencumbered and know the pace will come.
I dream of winning the lottery and sharing our winnings with family and friends. I can experience the tears of joy that I'll experience when that comes into this Universe.

I am grateful for every precious moment of my life as it is right now because I dreamed this life into existence and never gave up the belief that total healing and happiness is mine to claim. I am deeply deeply grateful to my running and life partner Tom for also believing and wishing and dreaming with me trusting and having faith that I would and could heal.

A dream is a wish your heart makes --- thank you Walt Disney for reminding us that we need to wish and to dream and to keep moving forward on our path!

From Walt Disney:

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."






I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.


"Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," my latest collection of inspirational poetry is now available soon on Amazon

Building Strength and Confidence

I used to have difficulty getting up from sitting without using a table or the bathroom sink to support me. One day a couple of months ago, after practicing squats at the wall per Dr. Ryan of Elevate Health Cambridge, I decided that I could just stand up. I made up my mind to do it ... after realizing what was preventing me from doing it all these years. Yes in part there was physical weakness and deconditioning but what prevented me from completely healing after paralytic polio was bearing the brunt of my father's alcoholic rages. I remembered the phrases, "sit down before I knock you down" along with "who do you think you are? I'm going to knock you down to size." Once I brought these phrases into awareness, I was able to literally stand up to the fear I felt inside. The danger was long gone but in my mind, because I was so little when all of this happened, I was wired for weakness and not being able to find the strength to stand up for myself.

But all of that is changed now. I'd been wrestling with how do I feel strong and empowered without being afraid of my power that I would hurt the people who were hurting me. During yesterday morning's meditation, I thought about martial arts and a class we had in self defense at the VA called Unmuggable. I googled to see if they are still around. I know there are many classes in self defense for women but I couldn't find this particular one. A "mugger" was in a protective suit and they taught us how to defend ourselves in case we were attacked; to disarm the "mugger" hitting his vulnerable areas to give us enough time to get away. They also gave us safety tips such as never getting into a car even if held at knife point, staying in a lighted area and using keys and other objects we might have on hand to ward off the attacker.

I took the class with Mary Pat Regan who was the DAV Transportation Coordinator and we used to sign our emails after taking the class, The Unmuggable One. I can remember the sensations of being able to defend myself and how empowered and invincible we felt after taking the class.

Yesterday, after increasing my squats at the wall and feeling confidence and strength harnessing the power of my hip flexors and core to do a proper squat, I made up my mind that it was time to move away from the wall and just squat. Dr. Ryan said to me one day, you'll move an inch away from the wall and you will do a squat. And voila:



I can feel safe, strong and confident. I have faced every fear and looked death square in the eye at the hands of my alcoholic father and psychotic grandmother and with the neglect of my drug addicted mother.

And now - I get to do the impossible or what the Western medicine model said is impossible. I build strength, create new neuromuscular connections and neural pathways. I change the way I view myself and create a whole new physical reality for myself. I am healed, and I am whole. I am an endurance runner training for the 2016 Newport Marathon and I am happy - so incredibly happy and grateful to be alive connected to The Source that showers me with grace:

The Source

Wellspring of joy flows deep within soul
rising surprisingly healing brokenness whole.
Thawing and melting magnificence made new
cleansing congestion reveals radiance True.

Miracles arise from this sacred space
fears and pain transformed by Your Loving Grace.
Running and laughing happiness free
a raucous rampage a celebration spree.

Grounded sure footed it's time fancy fine
Divine Love a waterfall cascading spine.
Fools were blind to this treasure so rare
unstoppable unceasing heart open to share.

The joy in the journey a sight to behold
the glory her triumphs she runs brave and bold.
Each footstep each mile of 26.2
a champion reborn glorious Spirit shines through.


Be blessed! Journey well! To all good things...

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Pure Imagination, Hope and Faith

Eight years ago, as I was preparing to leave the VA to heal my life, I did a 30 day journal on yellow legal paper (as though I were drafting a contract with myself) visualizing what life would be like for me in the future. I recycled it several years ago. I do smile when I think about some of the things I put down like being on Oprah and being a NY Times Bestselling Author (do not count out the latter one just yet) but one of the things that I included in my journal was going to work out every day at a health club. Seeing myself as healthy, vibrant, vital and whole, bringing an inspirational message to the world was the intention behind all that I imagined.

One of the ways I survived my chaotic and violent childhood and adolescence was to harness the power of my imagination. I held onto hope and faith that somehow somewhere there was a better life for me if I could just make it through.

When I ran 9 races in 9 months last year with two PR's, I harnessed the power of my imagination and the strength and will in my soul to make them happen.

My knee injury in December was a blessing and a wake up call for cross training and to make changes to allow more healing to happen. I was briefly drawn back into the medical model but quickly moved on to make sure that my intentions for total healing were aligned with what I was doing in my environment.

I'm training for another marathon!

First up is a 5K race on 7/3. I'm visualizing a great time (and yes I mean that literally and metaphorically) but I will run from the inside out seeing what I can accomplish on race day.

During my meditations, I imagine myself as though paralytic polio and violence never happened to me. What does that feel like? How does that look? I don't look in the mirror and say oh the tremors are still there; I see myself with my third eye without any tremors. I embrace experiencing my strong, steady hands and energy flowing from my back all the way down my arms without interruption. I smile. I feel the back of my cervical spine open as though I am opening a window and allowing fresh air to come in to allow spinal fluid and energy to flow. I am training myself to focus on the healing not on the wound.

I remind myself that I am already where I want to be and feel the joy of being without tremors, of having boundless energy, of feeling overflowing gratitude in my heart for these amazing outcomes that I see in my mind's eye that allows the physical transformation to follow.

And it works. Every time. With patience, practice, persistence, pacing, hope and faith.

If I would have imagined that going into the ocean yesterday would have been a bone chilling unpleasant experience, that's what would have happened but instead I knew that the cold icy salt water of the Atlantic Ocean would feel amazing after my 4 mile run. I now incorporate how I felt during and after going in the ocean into my meditation. I can feel how the swirling waters break up the scar tissue of 5 surgeries in my left leg and feel full range of motion return.

I recount the experiences where I have harnessed the power of my mind to heal. I had a wound on my nose that had not completely healed for several years. I finally decided to do something about it. I imagined it looking exactly the same as the other side of my nose. I hd total trust and faith that despite all appearances it was healed. Today there is only a small scar and it is indeed completely healed! I dissolved a tumor in my left breast and healed degenerative cervical spine disease including dissolving bone spurs and relieving a disc pressing on a nerve.

I have made up my mind that I deserve total healing. I feel love and compassion for myself knowing in every fiber of my being I never deserved what happened to me; that every child's birth right is to be in a safe, happy, warm and loving and laughing home learning how to manage struggles and challenges that come along. It is my birthright and I am now claiming that birthright to feel safe, happy, free, healthy, vibrant, vital and whole. It's wonderful to keep adding to my healing journal chronicling the miracles. Reading "You Are The Placebo" and having only those people who totally believe in me and the limitless possibilities for healing supports me in this process.

And the Universe echoes back a beautiful response to my song providing me with everything I need for total healing.



Be blessed! Journey well! To all good things...

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.