Countdown to Bermuda: Taper Time - A Time for Reflection

I had a most remarkable day yesterday. Since I decided to immerse myself in my healing journey during the 2nd half of 2017 and for 2018, I joined Dr. Joe Dispenza's Teleclass Calls. It was supposed to happen last Thursday. There was technical difficulty and the call had to be rescheduled. Last Thursday right before the call I discovered a leak in my basement so my full attention wasn't focused on the call. I decided that I would wait to ask my question of Dr. Joe since it was a full hour of Q & A. When the call was rescheduled I went about addressing the leak.

Side bar - The leak was a result of our dishwasher. The old linoleum floor that I'd been wanting to replace is now going to need to be replaced and the insurance money will pay for it. We probably won't even have a deductible since our insurance company will ask the maker of the dishwasher to reimburse them for damages. That's how I co-created kitchen renovations with the Divine.

I began to imagine connecting with Dr. Joe and asking about what was happening to me in my recent meditations using Blessing of the Energy Centers wondering if other students experienced it and what might account for the phenomenon.

This morning on Facebook, this blog post came up in my memory feed from 2 years ago.

One of my favorite quotes is a part of this blog:


It took me back to taper time for Bermuda Half Marathon 2016 which was my first endurance race after the 2009 Boston Marathon.

It reflected on how I came to know the work of Dr. Joe and how, despite all outward appearances, I would not quit on my healing journey.

I had thought a lot about asking Dr. Joe my question and then just turning it over to the Universe.

I was on several calls yesterday with contractors and the insurance adjuster, one of which took me right up to the time of the teleclass. I dialed in and took a deep breath settling down to focus my attention on the call.

After Adam welcomed us to the call I hit "1" signaling I had a question for Dr. Joe.

I was the first person he called on.

What followed was a mystical experience for me as Dr. Joe talked about what he's seen through the years when his students meditate but more important than the phenomenon is my intention during the meditation. His compassion warmed my heart and soul. He made some suggestions for me that I took with me into my evening meditation.

After our Blessing of the Energy Centers meditation, I tried to fall asleep but instead fell into another meditation. It was life changing for me. I have no idea of the sequence of events because I was in the quantum field but I found myself crying, I'm free. I'm free. I'm free. Energy shifted, awareness came pouring through me. I felt a powerful connection to Dr. Joe healing his spinal cord after his accident.

I tried to fall asleep but I was too energized and exhilarated by what had happened. I journaled about the experience.

Suddenly the fact that I am running the Bermuda Half Marathon a week from Sunday paled in comparison to who I am becoming in my life. I am breaking free from my past, co-creating healing with the Divine Mind and opening up to so many possibilities for the highest good. I am letting people know what's possible when you open your heart and your mind and surrender. I've lived through horrific conditions and I've learned from Dr. Joe that it is more important to invest in your future than continue to relive your past.

I'm enjoying this taper time to reflect on my journey healing the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. It's a lot of work and takes dedication, commitment and passion. The results are so worth it as I get myself together mind, body and soul for Team McManus' triumphant comeback endurance race, the Bermuda Half Marathon on 1/14/18.

To going the distance with strength and courage!
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Proud to be a part of Friends of Blue Diamond Athletic Displays, Inc.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Joy in Letting Go - Peace in Surrender!

"Your right leg is leading the journey," Joseph, my mind/body therapist at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork suggested to me after my treatment two weeks ago. "I don't really have words for this but I'm waiting for your left leg to tell its story. It's still encased." He verbalized for me what I experienced in my body but had not yet brought fully into my awareness. I realized it was time to delve into healing the experience of paralytic polio.

I'd been experiencing intermittent knee discomfort for months. Sometimes during Aquatics Therapy my left leg would lock. My right IT band , my right knee and right heel would experience pain to different degrees at different times. Running would help mind, body and Spirit to keep everything flowing. Several weeks ago my left knee was hurting after a run. After taking it easy and two treatments with Joseph that incorporated leg traction it felt much better. After our cat Jamie's dental surgery, I was getting up and down off of the floor and I knocked something out of whack on my left knee. Biking and Aquatics Therapy helped but at times, there was swelling and discomfort.

I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to do the Miss Santa Holiday 5K yesterday. I knew that I had to wait and see how I felt when I woke up. We were signed up as walkers so there was no pressure for a pace. We just wanted to be a part of the day and enjoy ourselves which we did!





I felt wonderful doing a race walker pace. It was cold but I loved being a part of the race put on by RaceCancer. {Be sure to check out their website for more information about this amazing organization!} There was a group of walkers that caught up to us and we were all out there to have a good time. There was a longer part of the loop to go to finish the 5K but we all decided to go over the bridge to the finish line. When Alain greeted us with his warm Alain hug, we told him that we took a shortcut. He smiled and said, "Oh you cheated huh?" I told him we were honest cheaters. It turned out to be a blessing that we didn't go the extra half mile or so.

As we walked to the car to head to the after party I could feel my knee swell. It became more and more of a challenge to walk. Despite what was happening in my knee, we enjoyed a delicious Breakfast Club (minus the bacon) sandwich and the festive atmosphere at the Hill Tavern. We were about to leave when the Silent Auction began.

Tom said we should stay and bid on the Boston Strong basket that no one had bid on.

We won our bid on this fabulous basket of Boston Strong activities to do in Copley Square:



Since I was limping, I told Alain about my knee. He told me to go home and ice it and then posted this to my Facebook wall reminding me that laughter is the best medicine:



Tom helped me get into the house and I began a regimen of ice/heat, elevation, advil and meditation. Tom was my crutch in every sense of the word and helped me get to the bathroom and back.

I was amazed at what my left leg was finally able to release after all these decades.

I was letting go of the pain and struggle I held ever since contracting paralytic polio. I allowed fears to come and go and bathed them with compassion and the mantra, "I trust in my body's ability to heal." Trust. Power. Strength. I felt strength returning to my left leg and knew that powerful healing was happening.

I came to a realization. I need to stop running. I choose to stop running. It's a struggle for me to run and while I have had an amazing run these past 9 months, it's time to enjoy activities and sports that will not take such a toll on my joints. Twenty three years ago I had reconstructive leg surgery to avoid a total knee replacement. My surgeon said he'd give me a ten year guarantee. I plan on making it a lifetime guarantee and one of the ways I can do that is to take the stress off of the joints. There are ways for me to get a runner's high without running. I get it on my recumbent bike now and I get a runner's high during Find your Aquatics Strength class at Spaulding. It's been a gradual letting go which began in my blog post, "That's Enough: Finding the Joy in the Journey." I know that there are wonderful articles about the benefits of running as we age and that running can actually be good for the joints. But for me, for now (and we never know how long now is going to last) with the combination of my knee issues and needing to heal the effects of paralytic polio, I choose to stop running.

Tom and I will always be Team McManus and will share in races together. I told him that he has a chance to shine in his age group now. Unlike the last time I stopped running, I am going to be an integral part of the running community. I am going to volunteer at races and be support crew during Boston Marathon training season.

I wrote this in "Journey Well,"

And if the time comes when in my physical form I am no longer able to run, running will always be a part of who I am. All that I have learned and become through running shall remain forever.

I feel incredible joy in letting go of running and racing. I look forward to long leisurely walks on warmer sunny days in winter and walks on the beach or around the reservoir enjoying being in my body - relatively pain and struggle free. I feel peace in being able to surrender to the experience of paralytic polio and look forward to continued healing in mind/body/Spirit. Today my body feels better than it has in a few months giving it this time to rest and heal. My heart and soul are filled with joy and at peace.

I am blessed!

Surrender

Surrender and heal unpack the bags of the past
surrender, let go, feel free
struggles be gone, there’s too much to do
let energy flow, it’s time to be me.
A woman of strength, courage and fierce
I had to fight my way to get to where I am today
time to take off the gloves, stop working so hard
be soft and gentle, let love light the way.
Nothing to prove, nothing to do
there’s no more time to waste
let fear be gone as ghosts disappear
all the demons have now been faced.
Surrender and heal my new mantra for peace
my body can now heed the call
with help from an earth angel healer
we rewind to that moment when I first took the fall.
Surrender and heal, let joy and possibility flow
everything’s perfect right here and now
let angels surround and be the guides
they’ll lead the way to the how.
To feel whole and balanced in my earthly home
my river of life, my beautiful chi
unceasingly easily flowing
for the first time in my life no more braces I’m free!

Journey well my friends!


"Journey Well" available on Amazon, is a book about resilience, strength, courage and how we are able to journey well no matter what conditions life hands to us. I profile the people who are Boston Stronger and share how 4/15/13 was a wake up call to me to return to my healing path from contracting paralytic polio at age 5 and 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. I am thrilled that Sollievo Massage and Bodywork is hosting the Book Release Party for "Journey Well" on January 10th from 5:30-7:30pm.





50% of book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica where people of all ages and abilities achieve higher function and fitness through high challenge sports and training.

The Miracle of Healing

Some people believe that going for a massage is a luxury. For me it's a necessity and a critical component of my health and wellness training plan. 90 minutes each week at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork is a time for meditation; to reflect on where I've been and how I've arrived at this moment and what I can do to find greater ease, comfort and peace in my body and in my life. It's an opportunity to heal mind, body and Spirit and as one heals, we all heal. The moments of peace I experience during the treatment ripple out into the Universe.

I become more and more aware of how I live in my physical body; a body I once loathed and lugged around with me. It was what I needed to do in order to survive. Through the treatments of these past 8+ months, fighting for my life and being at odds with my physicality transformed into awareness of how I still struggle in parts of my body. Two weeks ago, I became aware of the need to surrender and to experience perfection in all that is as it was and as it is in this moment now.





Because of the events of domestic violence three years after contracting paralytic polio, my neuromuscular system did not have the opportunity to fully recover from paralytic polio. The miracle is that I now have the opportunity to heal. I experienced the simple pleasures of pouring a pot of tea and last Sunday ate soup with a calm hand. The miracle is that despite all the ugliness I witnessed of the darkest side of humanity; despite all the pain and suffering I endured, I experience the beauty and love that is in the world. Even though I had encountered three rather unethical and unprofessional "bodyworkers", I dared to trust one more time and found my way to Joseph's healing hands and heart, and to Laura and Rose, the loving, caring and tender co-owners of Sollievo.

I'm taking the winter to be very kind to my body and giving myself the opportunity to heal from polio. I'll be cross training on my recumbent bike and taking advantage of Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding to build strength. I'm using the high quality self-care products from Sollievo to take care of my skin this winter and to nourish myself after a run in the cold with a hot epsom salt bath.

The healing cadence of Dr. Seuss got me through those intense physical therapy sessions when I was 5 years old until I was a teenager. When my body shut down 8 years ago after years of neglect, I returned to the healing cadence of Dr. Seuss only now I was the one holding the pen. My pen is my divining rod for healing and interestingly enough, recently, my style of free verse has returned to the cadence of Dr. Seuss in these two poems:

Surrender

Surrender and heal unpack the bags of the past
surrender, let go, feel free
struggles be gone, there’s too much to do
let energy flow, it’s time to be me.
A woman of strength, courage and fierce
I had to fight my way to get to where I am today
time to take off the gloves, stop working so hard
be soft and gentle, let love light the way.
Nothing to prove, nothing to do
there’s no more time to waste
let fear be gone as ghosts disappear
all the demons have now been faced.
Surrender and heal my new mantra for peace
my body can now heed the call
with help from an earth angel healer
we rewind to that moment when I first took the fall.
Surrender and heal, let joy and possibility flow
everything’s perfect right here and now
let angels surround and be the guides
they’ll lead the way to the how.
To feel whole and balanced in my earthly home
my river of life, my beautiful chi
unceasingly easily flowing
for the first time in my life no more braces I’m free!

Transformation

Mary, Mary had to be contrary
they wouldn’t let her garden grow
she held on tight as they tried to snuff out her light
she kept her Spirit safe, sheltered aglow.
A moral dilemma should she fight or leave
she knew darkness could never win
no more destruction let peace prevail
a new day she can now begin.
With deep breaths of healing, a new rhythm of life
one with ocean, the earth and stars
the ugliness pales, perfection can shine
and all that remains a few scars.
Mary, Mary no longer contrary
her blue eyes gentle, wise an ageless soul
all the events once held in her flesh flushed out
only love remains Mary’s now whole.
Mary, Mary so innocent and pure
no longer alone and in fear
a message of healing she brings to the world
journey well she wants all to hear.
May others discover this message of hope
Mary carries her message as a torch for life
courage and kindness, compassion and love
forgiveness the cure for all the world’s strife.
Her heart is so thankful that she made it through
let everyone’s garden grow wild and free
each sentient Being find their way home
to Be the person that they were always meant to Be.

What miracles do you see happening in your life?




"Journey Well" is available in Paperback and Kindle edition on Amazon 50% of book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica


We are having a Book Release Party on January 10th from 5:30-7:30pm at the birthplace of Journey Well, Sollievo Massage and Bodywork, 2285 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA. Hope you can join us if you are in the greater Boston area.