Countdown to Bermuda: My Vision for the Future

A question I plan to ask myself this New Year is "Does this belong in 2018?"

Paralytic polio followed by years of unrelenting violence at the hands of family members shaped my thoughts, my beliefs and my behaviors. Many of them are quite adaptive especially when training for a Half Marathon and getting ready for a runcation. I have everything organized. Why even planning our training schedule so we were able to get in our long run before the bitter cold set in and have an early and long taper sprung from my experiences as a trauma survivor.

There are also many many thoughts and beliefs that I carry with me that I do NOT want to take along to my future.

I've been doing the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. In his book, "Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon"



Dr. Joe suggests we write out what it is that we want to bring into our lives. We assign a letter and then give specifics as to what that would look like in our lives.

At breakfast this morning I read what I wrote out loud:

H - Healing
Free from pain
Vibrant
Energetic
Joyful
Running a 12 minute mile
Ease of movement
Slender
Youthful
Flexible
Strong
Steady hands and head
Balanced
Able to jump rope
Be a winner in my Age Group
Lightness
Competitive athlete
Graceful
Inspirational speaker sharing my story
Dancer
Swimmer
Confident

I did one for A - Abundance and one of the specifics for abundance is to renovate our kitchen. We laughed because we have a faulty dishwasher that has been leaking for months. We didn't know it was leaking until we heard a drip drip in our basement last Thursday. The plumbers came and told us that the dishwasher has a faulty part. We thought that perhaps the pipe froze and was leaking so were very grateful it was only the dishwasher. They turned off the water to the dishwasher and told us what steps to take to get the insurance appraisers in to get a new kitchen floor! For some strange reason it is still dripping. We have a pot under the drip now so at least it's not dripping into the basement. We called the manufacturer since it is still under warranty and they can't come until next Monday which has given us time to reflect on what we need to do next - like have the unit removed and get the floor taken care of. But there it is -- renovations to our kitchen and we are open to what other surprises the Universe has in store for us.

But getting back to healing!

After I read the list, Ruth Anne said to me, "What about running another marathon with me?"

My first response was - oh no - no way and then I started crying adding it to my list.

Why not another marathon? I do need to take some off after the Bermuda Half and allow my body to recover but why not another marathon? A mother/daughter marathon! I don't know how or which one or when but I am releasing it to the magic of the Universe.

Dr. Joe posted a video on Facebook today recapping his year and the miraculous events that occurred as a result of the work of meditation and burning away the old making space to receive Divine Love. He said that once you are touched by the Divine you can never go back to your old self.

I have been so blessed to be touched by the Divine ever since I contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5 years old and was neglected and abandoned by my mother who was addicted to prescription pain medication. During these past 11 years as I healed from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma that was diagnosed as Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease, I've experienced miracles of healing.

Before finding my way to a chiropractor healer, Dr. Ryan J. Means who told me I just HAD to read "You Are the Placebo" I could not get traction on my healing journey. It was the crisis of a serious knee injury that led me to Dr. Ryan and the work of Dr. Joe.

Since July of 2017, I rededicated myself to my healing journey.

I left a lot in 2017. My twitter and LinkedIn accounts. People who did not nourish me and support me with whom I repeated unhealthy patterns from the past. Habits that did not support me being my highest self and give me the time and space to heal, flourish and grow. I've become aware of the thoughts, beliefs and feelings rather than have them create automatic unconscious reactions to my environment.



I begin 2018 with a heart overflowing with gratitude for the blessings and lessons of 2017... with no regrets but the promise to choose better in 2018 allowing my intuition to guide me. I am grateful for the miles and healing that I accomplished in 2017 and excited for new adventures in healing, health and wellness! Our family is reunited strengthened by the trials that come with healing mental illness and every day we celebrate and continue to heal with love and faith! I leave all consuming anger, fear and bitterness and judging bringing a soft, open and caring heart into a new day and a new year. I leave being a victim in 2017 and enter 2018 as a victor.

In order to bring my vision for the future into my present, I will continue to focus on what I DO want, surrendering my vision to the Divine Mind to create it for the highest good AND continue to release limiting thoughts and behaviors.

In a little under 2 weeks I will be running my 3rd half marathon in as many years after being told I needed to stop running and needed a total knee replacement in a few years. My vision for the future began 11 years ago through the power of my pen, my divining rod for healing as I wrote poetry imagining a future of health, wholeness and freedom; now it is focused on complete healing from the effects of trauma and paralytic polio and as it comes into physical reality, my vision is to inspire others with what's possible.

To a wonderful, magical and mystical 2018!

To going the distance with strength and courage!
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to listen to my interview with Keith Cartwright by following this link.

Proud to be a part of Friends of Blue Diamond Athletic Displays, Inc.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

"All you need is faith, trust and a little pixie dust." - Reflections on Grace

In recent posts I touched on the devastating effects of having contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5 and living in a dysfunctional family. While it was incredibly challenging for me, polio opened the portal to a world where I felt the protection and love from the realm of Spirit.

As I share an excerpt from my memoir "Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility," in "Journey Well":

My connection to something greater than myself began at the age of 5 years old:

As I lay on the couch, my mother glared at me smoking a cigarette. I had to go to the bathroom but I knew better than to ask her. I learned that I had to wait until my father or grandfather came home to be toileted. I had a vision. This beautiful Being with a flowing white beard appeared. A hand was extended to me to climb into a well bucket only there was no hand. I climbed into the well bucket even though I lay paralyzed on the couch. I was reeled up to meet this Being and then I returned to my paralyzed body. I knew that somehow I was going to make it through this mess. I saw this Being everywhere I looked. I saw the Being in my storybook. Whether my eyes were open or closed this Being was with me. Guardian Angel? or hallucination from the fever and pain of polio? I cast my vote for Guardian Angel that was there to protect me. Despite the emotional and physical pain, the abject terror I was experiencing, somewhere within me I felt peace and comfort. I regained movement of my right arm and leg but my left arm and leg remained paralyzed. At least I could wiggle around a little on the couch and could hold my books. Here I was with this cold, angry, rejecting woman smoking a cigarette who would not and could not touch me, waiting for my father or grandfather to come home to meet my basic needs. Despite the precarious predicament I was in, I had a sense of safety. This was my first of many experiences of being touched by grace.

Despite or maybe because of everything that happened to me, I trust in a Force far greater than the human part of my Being and a Force that is pure love and light that is in my Being.

It's a miracle that I always held onto hope and possibility and that I believe in the magic, mystery and mysticism that is available to us.

Last week we were blessed to witness that touch of grace and the magic and mysticism in the Universe as we solved the Boston Marathon Medal Mystery. Its timing is not lost on me.

On January 5, 2015, the trial of Tsarnaev is scheduled to begin. There was a wonderful editorial in last week's Globe about a possible outcome that would spare the survivors, the City and the government time and money. In Tsarnaev trial: Let's not relieve the marathon bombings, Nancy Gertner, Michael B. Keating and Martin F. Murphy, three lawyers, pose the question,

Why can’t the Boston Marathon bombing trial be like that?

It takes both sides — the government and the defense — to agree. The defendant has to agree to plead guilty, and the government has to agree to accept a sentence of life imprisonment without parole, like it did with the Unabomber, the Olympic Park bomber, and many others who committed acts of violence in which people were killed and injured.

This community’s response to the Marathon attacks set an example of courage and unity for the nation and the world. Now we’re reaching the last chapter. That chapter doesn’t have to be one of bitterness, division, and re-traumatization. This is our city, as David Ortiz said in the first Red Sox game after the bombing, and what happens over the next several months will have a deep and abiding impact on all of us. Wouldn’t it be better if the Justice Department and Tsarnaev’s defense attorneys got past the legal technicalities and found common ground? Let’s write a last chapter that guarantees just punishment for Tsarnaev while putting the victims and the community at the center of the legal system’s concerns.

It is my fervent prayer, hope, intention that we are able to experience the writing of the final chapter in a way that would truly honor the memories of those whose lives were lost, and help the survivors to heal.

But no matter what happens, I know that all we need to make it through is faith, trust, a little pixie dust, a whole lot of grace and each other.

Journey well!


"Journey Well" available on Amazon, is a book about resilience, strength, courage and how we are able to journey well no matter what conditions life hands to us. I profile the people who are Boston Stronger and share how 4/15/13 was a wake up call to me to return to my healing path from contracting paralytic polio at age 5 and 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. I am thrilled that Sollievo Massage and Bodywork is hosting the Book Release Party for "Journey Well" on January 10th from 5:30-7:30pm.





50% of book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica where people of all ages and abilities achieve higher function and fitness through high challenge sports and training.