Countdown to Bermuda: In My Dreams

During this morning's training run with Ruth Anne (Tom was at a conference and couldn't join us for our Wednesday morning 5K), Ruth Anne said to me, "Wow Ma. You're really setting the pace this morning. One of these days you're gonna just take off!"

She knew about the dreams I've had these past couple of weeks in which I am at a Dr. Joe workshop and I run a 12 minute and 9 minute mile. She shared with me that she had a dream one night that I was running at a 10 minute mile pace.

"Do you remember that dream I had before we ran the 2008 Tufts 10K?" I asked her.

"Sort of," she replied. I went on to tell her about having this dream that I was in a bubble. My polio self and the woman I am today were running side by side. As I ran, the distance lengthened between me and the me who had polio until finally the bubble burst and I broke free.

During today's run I recalled the words of Dr. Joe about reconditioning my body to a new mind. It's a phrase that I've used over and over again during the past 3 years on my 11 year healing journey; healing from the effects of paralytic polio and childhood trauma and then after a serious knee injury in December of 2014. Every day I bless Ryan J. Means, DC for the work we did to get me back on my healing path and for introducing me to the work of Dr. Joe.

I'm reading Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon and I'm beginning to experience and feel what these words mean. As I ran today I ran in my mind's eye; in my dreams. I felt free and fast. I felt Spirit say to me, "Don't worry about your pace. Imagine and experience how you want to feel as you embrace your future self totally healed."

I let go of thoughts about my body and about heaviness in my body that come from the polio/trauma self and instead focused on being in the present moment experiencing the miracle of healing for both Ruth Anne and me.

During my workout on the Arc Trainer yesterday I let myself imagine what it's going to feel like going the distance - mile by mile feeling free and unencumbered - as I had written about for years in my poems in beautiful Bermuda - in my dreams!

As my imagination and my dreams become so real, my body transforms to conform to what is happening in my mind.

There is an abundance of joy and gratitude to have found my healing path; to believe in the power of my dreams despite any outward appearances to the contrary.

What a blessed and wonderful journey of transformation...and it all began in my dreams as I imagined myself to health, wholeness and wellness through writing poetry.

The dream lives on....



To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Countdown to Bermuda: Prepping for an 11 Mile Training Run

Perhaps what makes the anticipation of Bermuda Marathon Weekend 2018 so special is that our daughter Ruth Anne will be running with us. After 3 years of suffering with severe depression and Post Traumatic Stress symptoms, she is on her healing path and we are on our healing path as Team McManus. Having this race goal has been the best therapy for all of us...and to think we weren't going to run it until God in the guise of Anthony Raynor extended a hand and invited us to run it a third time. The third time WILL be the charm!

It's the eve of our longest run since we ran together in the 2009 Boston Marathon.

Last night I had an amazing dream. We were out on our run and went into a building for a water stop. There were these people lying on the floor with their eyes closed. I felt deep inside of me that I didn't want to stop and take a break. I wanted to get out there and finish our run because after we do, there will be only two more miles to get to the finish line of the Bermuda Half Marathon 2018! I ran over the people on the floor and around them with such agility and ease and bounded easily up the stairs and out the door running at a very fast pace.

Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about walking as our future self and the power of dreams and feeling as if something has already happened giving thanks that it is here now. I felt so free in my body and such joy in the run and getting ready for Bermuda 2018.

I am blessed to be working with Dr. Lizzie Sobel of Wholesome Healing Chiropractic who coincidentally is very familiar with Dr. Joe's work. She heard him speak at a continuing education workshop she attended as a chiropractor. She works with me on a physical and metaphysical level helping to release my body's natural capacity to heal itself and to be in a state of balance and well being. I love this quote about chiropractic care:


I've become aware of my habits of being and doing and as Dr. Lizzie frees up restrictions in my body, I can consciously do things in new ways.

I'd been experiencing back spasms. Dr. Lizzie was curious about what energy center in my body that was happening in as well as worked to release the tension in muscles and realign my bones and joints. I was able to meditate and release the trauma that happened to my back. I realized that I was not using the power of my legs to stand up in the morning which is when I would experience the spasms. I identified how fear and having been literally brought to my knees by my abusive alcoholic father and the experience of constant sexual abuse cut off the energy flow between my back and my legs. Combine all of this with having contracted paralytic polio at age 5 and you've got a recipe for disease and dysfunction. BUT the great news is that it is all healing now.

All of the effects of paralytic polio and trauma are now healing through my meditation, immersing myself in the work of Dr. Joe and reading his latest and greatest book:



going for regular chiropractic care, making conscious what was once unconscious and creating new emotional and neuromuscular pathways to transform and transcend my past. I am experiencing deep gratitude and happiness for this wondrous and amazing journey.

I am ready for tomorrow's 11 miler!

To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to listen to my interview with Keith Cartwright, "From Polio Survivor to Boston Marathon Finisher" by following this link.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

A dream is a wish your heart makes ....

Two of my friends are on vacation in Disney World. Their posts from last night appeared one after another in my Facebook Feed about watching the wishes fireworks!

As I drove to the Seaport Hotel's WaveHealth and Fitness Club on Monday I felt as though someone should pinch me for the charmed life I now lead.

In March of 2007 as I prepared to leave the VA to heal my life, a friend of mine suggested that I keep a 30 day journal imagining what life would be like after I left the VA. I would start every day writing on legal paper imagining a day in my life after I left the VA. I imagined freedom, joy, meeting up with amazing people in luxurious settings, exercise and working out a gym; okay so being on Oprah and touring the country as a motivational speaker was part of the vision but you know what? I have not ruled that out yet. It wasn't so much about the what but about the feeling I would bring to each day. Gratitude was an integral part of my journal giving thanks for the life that I believed was already created.

I was dreaming .. I was making wishes for a life free from struggle and suffering; a life of ease and financial freedom. I was making a wish to be able to wake up in the morning and feel energized, happy and eager to create a great day. I wished to be healthy and whole feeling free in my body. I wrote poetry about reclaiming my life.

I wrote this journal while I was still wearing a leg brace and had absolutely no idea how or when any of that was going to happen.

I wished...

And when I gave my notice at the VA, the staff thought I was crazy for chasing after my dreams of being a poet and writer and taking a leap of faith to heal my life. Little did they know what I knew....

I believed with all my heart that change was possible and that there was a future better than the present conditions I was living in in March 2007.

And I am healthy and whole healing and rewiring everything living the life of my dreams. And I continue to dream...running Falmouth in the Fall and the Bermuda Half Marathon in January with my sights set on the full Newport Marathon in 2016.

I dream of steady head and hands and feel this happening more and more every day; running swift at a 12:00 minute/mile pace. I run free and unencumbered and know the pace will come.
I dream of winning the lottery and sharing our winnings with family and friends. I can experience the tears of joy that I'll experience when that comes into this Universe.

I am grateful for every precious moment of my life as it is right now because I dreamed this life into existence and never gave up the belief that total healing and happiness is mine to claim. I am deeply deeply grateful to my running and life partner Tom for also believing and wishing and dreaming with me trusting and having faith that I would and could heal.

A dream is a wish your heart makes --- thank you Walt Disney for reminding us that we need to wish and to dream and to keep moving forward on our path!

From Walt Disney:

"All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me... You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."






I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.


In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.


"Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," my latest collection of inspirational poetry is now available soon on Amazon