Going the Distance: Exceeding Limitations - Thoughts on Transformation

"You really crushed your workout today didn't you?" a woman asked me in the locker at Boston Sports Club on Tuesday.

I was a little stunned. "How did you know? I just posted it on Facebook. Did you see it?"

"No I was watching you and saw that you had been at your workout for awhile and you seemed really into it."

"Hi - I'm Carolyn and I'm the Membership Services representative here." After we chatted about my journey and her own healing journey with MS, she commented how happy she was to have me as a member at the gym.

Well a really strange thing happened to me at the gym. I got on the Arc Trainer where I was planning to maintain at .86-.88 for 20 minutes. Before I started training for Bermuda again, during my off season I wanted to hit .90 which I did in May. Something lit up inside of me where I told myself to set goals not limits and remind myself of the person I am today - transformed and healed from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. Before I knew what happened and a whole lot of sweat later, I hit .91 in 20 minutes. Amazing!

I got out of my thoughts and got out of the way during yesterday's workout. It was strange. I was planning on being mindful and not "overdoing it" during my work out after Saturday's 11 miler in the freezing cold.

I became aware of my automatic thoughts as a survivor of paralytic polio who had been diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome 11 years ago and a survivor of severe childhood trauma.

Lately I've been aware of movement and thoughts that come from habits from the past and am working to change them.

I have created new mantras such as I can get up out of bed in the morning with ease. I can get up out of a chair with ease. I experience freedom and ease in mind, body and soul.

I can sense the awareness of memories from polio and violence and because I bring them into awareness, I now have the opportunity to change them.

I bring a lot of love and compassion to my memorized self and am truly grateful that I survived the horror of my past. More than surviving the horror of my past, I have created a very sweet new present and a beautiful future for myself.

As Dr. Joe Dispenza likes to say, and I HIGHLY recommend his work, it's important to have measurements to determine progress and the outcome of change but it's also important to bear in mind that it's not so important to look at the what we have created but that we have the power to create change and transform!

Ten years ago this past May, I left my award winning social work career at the VA to heal my life from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome. I was given a rather grim prognosis and was told I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

I continue to become aware of how the messages and experiences from my childhood hardwired my brain and my Being and as I do, I do something different to create an opportunity to rewire as I did when I exceeded my limitations at the gym on Tuesday and continue to journey forward as a woman transformed.



Please remember change is just one thought and action away!

To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to listen to my interview with Keith Cartwright, "From Polio Survivor to Boston Marathon Finisher" by following this link.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Countdown to Bermuda: Prepping for an 11 Mile Training Run

Perhaps what makes the anticipation of Bermuda Marathon Weekend 2018 so special is that our daughter Ruth Anne will be running with us. After 3 years of suffering with severe depression and Post Traumatic Stress symptoms, she is on her healing path and we are on our healing path as Team McManus. Having this race goal has been the best therapy for all of us...and to think we weren't going to run it until God in the guise of Anthony Raynor extended a hand and invited us to run it a third time. The third time WILL be the charm!

It's the eve of our longest run since we ran together in the 2009 Boston Marathon.

Last night I had an amazing dream. We were out on our run and went into a building for a water stop. There were these people lying on the floor with their eyes closed. I felt deep inside of me that I didn't want to stop and take a break. I wanted to get out there and finish our run because after we do, there will be only two more miles to get to the finish line of the Bermuda Half Marathon 2018! I ran over the people on the floor and around them with such agility and ease and bounded easily up the stairs and out the door running at a very fast pace.

Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about walking as our future self and the power of dreams and feeling as if something has already happened giving thanks that it is here now. I felt so free in my body and such joy in the run and getting ready for Bermuda 2018.

I am blessed to be working with Dr. Lizzie Sobel of Wholesome Healing Chiropractic who coincidentally is very familiar with Dr. Joe's work. She heard him speak at a continuing education workshop she attended as a chiropractor. She works with me on a physical and metaphysical level helping to release my body's natural capacity to heal itself and to be in a state of balance and well being. I love this quote about chiropractic care:


I've become aware of my habits of being and doing and as Dr. Lizzie frees up restrictions in my body, I can consciously do things in new ways.

I'd been experiencing back spasms. Dr. Lizzie was curious about what energy center in my body that was happening in as well as worked to release the tension in muscles and realign my bones and joints. I was able to meditate and release the trauma that happened to my back. I realized that I was not using the power of my legs to stand up in the morning which is when I would experience the spasms. I identified how fear and having been literally brought to my knees by my abusive alcoholic father and the experience of constant sexual abuse cut off the energy flow between my back and my legs. Combine all of this with having contracted paralytic polio at age 5 and you've got a recipe for disease and dysfunction. BUT the great news is that it is all healing now.

All of the effects of paralytic polio and trauma are now healing through my meditation, immersing myself in the work of Dr. Joe and reading his latest and greatest book:



going for regular chiropractic care, making conscious what was once unconscious and creating new emotional and neuromuscular pathways to transform and transcend my past. I am experiencing deep gratitude and happiness for this wondrous and amazing journey.

I am ready for tomorrow's 11 miler!

To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to listen to my interview with Keith Cartwright, "From Polio Survivor to Boston Marathon Finisher" by following this link.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

World Kindness Day

I know - I felt it too when I woke up at 4 am on Wednesday morning asking Tom who won the election. Tom had to get up early to do an upgrade on a computer at Boston College where he works. I felt a grip of fear and felt as though someone had punched me in the stomach. What was going to happen to us? What was going to happen to us as a country?

This past week, as shock and grief wore off, I found a lot of comfort in my Facebook news feed that was filled with positivity, support and finding a lot of power among the people. One of my friend's posted about how what happens in our personal house is much more important than what happens in the White House.

As a survivor of child rape, I feel nauseated when I looked at Trump's photo. I'd get a solar plexus clutch when the news talked about his first 100 days in office. Then I'd relax when I saw President Obama talking with Trump. Then I'd get all worked up again in a frenzy of fear. Then I'd breathe a sigh of relief when I saw Make America Kind Again photos

and photos of safety pins along with videos of people standing up for people who were bullied:


I realized I needed to get off of the emotional roller coaster ride of what was happening out there and reacting to the news and go within myself to be able to reach out to others.

Shockabuku - "A swift spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever."


That's what happened to me and maybe to you.

Shockabuku - a wake up call!

You and I both know that the racism, the sexism, the mysogyny, hatred, homophobia has sadly all been here all along. Oh how I wish evil and hatred did not exist in the world but it does and the question becomes, how do we respond? We forgot that it is not up to the government to take care of social issues - it is up to us and it is up to us to care for ourselves and each other. As social activist Judy Bonds once said, "We are the ones we've been waiting for."

As the symbol for crisis in Chinese tells us, there is danger and opportunity in times of crisis.
This is a time of tragedy and opportunity.

As I mentioned in my blog the day after election day, I faced the most horrible evil as a child and adolescent. I/we have lived through 9/11 and 4/15 and mass shootings and police shootings, wars and the list goes on and on. While it would have been easy for me to turn against humanity and become filled with rage and hatred, I chose compassion, kindness and working for social justice.

And the great news is - I AM NOT ALONE and NEITHER ARE YOU!

I was blessed to know Boston University's Vice President and Dean of Student Affairs Norm Johnson...Rear Admiral Wendell Norman Johnson (Retired USN). He was a lifelong dear friend of Herb Simmons who was my volunteer at the VA. Herb introduced me to "Uncle Norman" to help him navigate the VA Healthcare System. We became close friends and comrades in arms when it came to social justice and veterans issues.

As it said in his obituary, Norm was a most Uncommon Man. He was given 6 months to live after the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer as a result of Agent Orange Exposure. He lived for 24 years after the diagnosis. What a life he lived! He rose through the ranks of the Navy being the first Black male to achieve the rank of Rear Admiral being the target of racism and bigotry every rank of the way.

When John Silber brought him on at BU, he was a proponent of educational policies that would help to level the playing field for students:
He was described as a man who demanded respect and who believed education to be of the highest priority. During his tenure, he created the Educational Resource Center, which provides tutoring for students. He watched the campus grow by more than 2,000 students, and he took on the task of creating programs and developing policies with the best interests of the students in mind.

The project closest to his heart was the Boston University Residential Charter School (BURCS). In 1991, Johnson came up with the idea, called the First in Peace project, of creating residential schools on decommissioned military bases for children in foster-care situations. With the support of the University, Johnson began a similar project at BU, and the BURCS opened in Granby, Mass., in 1998. After two years of operation, the school closed because of inadequate funding.

“Our approach was to develop a school that had a residential component for these young people,” said Johnson in 2000. “The distinction is not subtle; it’s based on the belief that children who have been deprived of a stable and nurturing environment could thrive and succeed in school if they were given the right opportunity.”

What I remember most about Norm as I was blessed to be able to call him was what he did in the wake of 9/11.

As Muslim students were being harassed and threatened on the T, on Campus and in and around Boston, Dean Johnson started a campaign called BUnited. He had buttons made up with BUnited on them so that there was a community of support and safety not only to ease the fear of the Muslim students but to ignite a sense of justice and looking beyond labels for the student community at large. He held forums for dialogue and understanding.

Here was a man who knew first hand what it meant to be singled out because of the color of his skin yet he rose to the ranks in military and civilian life being the change he wanted to see in the world.

Today was World Kindness Day.

In the wake of the election, we are called upon to make each day World Kindness Day showing kindness and compassion for ourselves first and foremost and to each other. We need to, as one of my Lebanese friends on Facebook said, "build bridges not walls." We need to be able to hold steady when what someone says makes our blood boil and our stomach lurch and join together with like minded and like hearted people who believe in fairness, equality, social justice and looking beyond labels.

We are now called upon to mobilize; to awaken out of complacency and take action when it is needed. Hateful racist graffiti? Let's get together and paint over it.

Someone is being bullied and harassed? Join together and know there is safety in numbers. There are videos about what to do if you see a hate crime and many articles about organizations to support to ensure that the rights and needs of all are being attended to.

We who believe in kindness, fairness, equality are the majority and we cannot afford to be the silent majority.

I am planning on reinstating my membership in the National Association of Social Workers and powering up with people who believe in the same values as I believe in.

I am not fighting anything following the wisdom of Mother Theresa. I am FOR peace, justice, kindness, compassion and caring for ourselves and each other.



I am for making each day World Kindness Day and knowing that by joining together we can turn this tragedy of divisiveness and rancor into one of opportunity to create real and lasting social change. Most importantly of all remember this:


To your health and wellness,
Mary

Creating Positive Habits

It takes 21 days to create a positive habit. Getting started and believing you can change are often the hardest parts of getting on the road to success.

I had been programmed from an early age to not be able to trust my body after contracting paralytic polio and then experiencing years of violence at the hands of family members. It was a struggle for me to get traction on my healing journey until I was blessed to find my way first to Ryan J. Means,DC who introduced me to the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza.

My default programming habit had been one of fatigue and anticipating that my body would break down.

It was a constant effort and struggle to make the shift to believing in my body's tremendous capacity to heal everything that went before and to create positive habits that would become an optimal healing environment for myself mind, body and soul.

This morning when my alarm went off at 6:15am and it was still dark outside, my brain is now wired to meditate for 20 minutes, do plank, crunches and clams, have a piece of toast, banana and hydrate and go out the door for a 3.1 mile run.

Oh sure a part of me would have loved to stay snuggled in the blankets but the scale has shifted from weighing heavily on the side of fatigue and pain to one of gratitude and feeling vibrant, whole, healthy and strong motivated by knowing that two months from tomorrow, Team McManus lines up at the start of the Bermuda Half Marathon.

It's funny how the change kind of sneaks up on you. There's not one specific moment when the change happens. It's a cumulative effect of working to create the change and then realizing wow, I've created a change in my body, in my lifestyle through meditation, my strong will and determination, and consistent actions creating the outcomes I want in my life.

Change is not easy. We get hard wired into believing that things have to be the way they are and then when we believe things have to be the way they are, the hard wiring gets reinforced.

Once we change our beliefs, find amazing people to partner with us and support our desire for change, we can reclaim our lives and create a lifetime of positive habits.

Finding My Own Strength and Reflections on Solitude

I was so blessed to discover the Spaulding Rehab Aquatics Therapy Program in August of 2013. I went faithfully on Tuesdays and Wednesdays finding my strength in the healing waters of the heated pool. I met some wonderful, inspiring people during classes and I know that I inspired many with whom I crossed paths. My husband Tom started work in Charlestown at MGH in January of 2014. We'd commute together on Tuesday morning and Wednesday afternoon. We are so fortunate that he is now working at Boston College, a mere 40 minute commute from coat on to coat off, as Tom timed it.

Last week I commuted alone to and from my classes at Spaulding. I was exhausted. I also realized that the conversations happening during class and the energy of the class were no longer inspiring me. The people who attend the class are lovely and each on their own journey but I knew there was a change happening within me and I needed to make a change.

Interestingly enough, yesterday's morning class was cancelled.

I had done my research about the Brookline Town Pool and yesterday I went during open swim.

I did the exercises that we had been doing in class and then I got still and listened to what my body wanted and needed to do. I was all alone in the lesson pool which is heated to 80-85 degrees using a noodle and a kick board building quad and core strength and thoroughly enjoying the freedom and the solitude figuring out what would best serve ME. Without the distraction of talking with other people, I could use the time in the pool as a moving meditation. I realize what a huge shift it is for me to not put out energy to take care of others; to try to bring them over to the "light" and experience the power of infinite possibilities but rather live by example sharing my journey in my blog.

It was definitely time for me to find my own strength, building on the base that Spaulding gave me. While I love running with others and enjoy the camarderie of a group workout, there is a lot to be said for the benefits of solitude. I'm never alone. There are angels all around me and I embrace the joy of what I discover when I experience solitude.

I'm doing more on land workouts under the guidance of Dr. Ryan at Elevate Health Cambridge.

I'm feeling strong and today, under the guidance of Dr. Joseph Stetz an angel who I know is watching over me, I am going to do laps.

My hope is to return to running 3 days/week. I visualize the healing of my knees. This morning I did 3, 40/20 intervals of holding plank and then doing crunches followed by upper body strength training, icing and stretching. For right now, I'll stick to two days of running, two days of pool cross training, and one day of circuit strength training on land.

The Town pool is a 10 minute car drive away and I pay $45 as a senior for 16 swims. As I get older, I realize how important it is for me to discern how I spend my time, talent and treasures.

I am deeply grateful for the time I spent and all I learned at Spaulding.

I no longer embody being a survivor of paralytic polio. I contracted polio at the age of 5 and had my fair share of challenges but that's all it was and is. I no longer believe that I live with the late effects of paralytic polio. My laser focus is on finding my own strength and living as well as I possibly can for as long as I am meant to be in this form.

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.