Tom posted on Facebook that he still gets moved every time he reads the first poem I wrote. He put a link to the poem on my website.
Running the Race
Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
Everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
The polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.
Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone
and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.
Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
But with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist,
curly hair and a warm, broad smile
It tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.
I always wore those 'special' shoes
the kids they poked and teased
With no support and much abuse
with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.
Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else
and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.
Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
Suffered in silence, isolated from friends-
trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team
and they were on my side.
Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.
It was the dark night of my mind, body and soul. Two months prior to putting pen to paper and writing this poem, I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome deemed to be a progressive neuromuscular disease by Western Medicine Standards. Gosh I hope in these past 12 years the medical establishment has had time to rethink their thoughts about what happens to polio survivors in their later years. I was told to quit my award winning job as a VA social worker and to prepare to spend the rest of my life in wheelchair.
I was scared - very scared...then I got angry...and then I got still and asked for Divine Guidance.
It was a cold dark day in February of 2007. I felt a stirring in my soul as I was surrounded by teachings of Wayne Dyer, Lisa Nichols, Bernie Siegel and Tony Robbins. Lisa Nichols suggested in her newsletter to express gratitude in advance of your prayers being answered. A practice that goes back to Jesus and has been suggested by many wonderful modern day healers and teachers. The prompt was, "I am so happy and grateful now that I can..." and the word "create" ended the sentence for me.
Create? Create what? My twins were grown and I was told my career was over. What was left to create?
I took a pen to paper but then the words flowed so fast I had to get on my laptop.
My heart opened and I cried.
My curiosity was piqued. Why was I writing a poem about running a race when I was in a leg brace using a cane and at times a wheelchair for mobility having been told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.
I felt unwell for about 10 years leading up to the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome. For the first time in 10 years I felt joy, hope and possibility. I had felt trapped in my body and trapped in my life despite having an award winning and very rewarding career at the VA up until I started to feel unwell. A door to my future opened after I wrote "Running the Race".
It was as though a spigot was turned on in my soul and poems flowed out of me in which I imagined myself healthy, whole and healed running unencumbered and free releasing the shackles of my past rife with violence from my childhood and the effects of having contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5.
I had never run a day in my life but in my mind's eye I saw myself as a runner. I never owned a pair of running shoes and the "closest" I ever got to the sport of running was being a spectator for the Boston Marathon.
In February of 2008, the personal trainer I hired after being discharged from Spaulding Rehab's Outpatient Clinic, asked me for my next health and fitness goals. My initial health and fitness goals were to be able to get off of a low seat without assistance, diversify my workouts and see if I could get a little stronger.
From "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":
“Well I want to feel free in my body. I want to dance. I want to be able to walk outside and feel unencumbered when I take a walk.”
Janine wrote feverishly and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.
“Wait. I have one more goal.”
Janine stopped and turned around.
“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”
So began my journey as a runner.
What a blessing to celebrate a decade of running. And to think that it all began with a poem!
To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary
My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.
Be sure to visit my website by following this link.
My books are available on Amazon.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
***Coming Soon - The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953***
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