Going the Distance: Light Dawns - Serundipity

Our training for Bermuda Marathon Weekend is winding down. 3 weeks from today we will be at the Fairmount Southampton Princess enjoying all that is Bermuda and enjoying a celebration of miracles and healing. Ruth Anne did hill repeats on Tuesday afternoon and went to the gym yesterday for cross training. Tom and I set out for an early morning run.

It was cold and we had to be careful of black ice but what an opportunity to experience the dawn of a new day!

As the grey skies became blue and the sun rose between the trees, I felt this powerful connection with the Divine. I knew it was going to be a very special run for Tom and me.

I could feel my heart open and gratitude overwhelmed me that spilled from my heart to tears streaming down my face. So much emotion flowed as I thought about these last 3 years and embracing all the beautiful and wondrous possibilities that our future now holds. Yes it may seem odd to be talking about the future for a couple who are 64 (on Monday my birthday) and 66 (on 3/2) and who will be married 40 years on 3/4/18. There was a time after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome 11 years ago that I didn't think I had a future. Through writing inspirational poetry I created a future other than the ones that the doctors predicted for me.

Three years ago I was blessed to meet Ryan J Means, DC - a chiropractor healer who reminded me of what I had set out to do when I quit my award winning career as a VA social worker just 3 years shy of retirement age to "heal my life". I had a very serious knee injury in December of 2014 and could not seem to get traction on my healing journey. In addition to his skill and heart, he led me to the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza.

Tom and I talked about the power of forgiveness.



I felt my heart open and compassion flow for a person who had betrayed and exploited me who, up until yesterday's run, I couldn't find in my heart to forgive. I know that holding onto a grudge is like keeping a hot coal in my hand. The other person goes on living their life and I cause myself pain and suffering. The cold fresh air of winter, seeing the day go from dark to light and grey to blue connected me to the Source of all that is. Light dawned and my energetic connection to that person and all they symbolized in my life broke free.

Even though it was cold outside, I was sweating from the effort I put into our 5K. I love experiencing the contrast of sweat meeting cold air. Here is our apres run selfie:


We enjoyed a delicious breakfast together...Breakfast always tastes so incredible after an early morning run.

Tom went off to work and I had an appointment with my chiropractor.

The magic that began during that early morning run continued during my treatment. I felt a powerful connection to the Divine Intelligence within and around me as Dr. Lizzie practiced the art and science of chiropractic care. I had this image of a river of energy flowing through me; a beautiful crystal clear river that I could only best compare to a flexisnake that plumbers use to clear out clogs.

I am so excited for what my future holds. I know I am going the distance in my health and wellness journey healing the effects from paralytic polio and trauma and embracing an abundant life!


What a wonderful way to ring out the old with an early morning se-run-dipity. What a blessing to be touched by grace as light dawned in the early hours the day before the winter solstice.

To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Going the Distance: Making Peace With My Past - Creating the Path to my Future

The other day I wrote a blog about what I imagine and feel in my dreams as I move forward in my healing journey; healing the effects from paralytic polio and severe childhood trauma. Daily meditations provide the time for me to quiet my mind, get clarity on my life and connect with the Divine Intelligence that is within me and that surrounds me.

During my meditation this morning the thought "Make peace with your past. Make peace with your body. Clear the way for the future. Forgive." came to me! I've been seeing stories about the power of forgiveness and know about the power of forgiveness and gratitude for healing in my own life. There was a but in my journey of forgiveness as I experienced self-righteous indignation and anger that was hard for me to release. The anger and frustration manifested of course in my body and thus a loop was created. The more I experienced the anger and frustration, the more I felt stuck and heavy in my body and the more I felt stuck and heavy in my body, the more I felt anger and frustration.

This morning in my meditation, it was as though a boil had come to a head with those thoughts about making peace and forgiveness. I follow Dr. Joe Dispenza on Facebook. The last several testimonials have been stunning synchronicity with what I am healing in my life.

This morning's testimonial was a gift from God as Henry shared his experience during Dr. Joe's workshop about forgiveness. Here is my comment on the Facebook video:

"Bless you for sharing Henry. I too grew up in an alcoholic home and experienced the same cycle of violence followed by apologies and asking for forgiveness and then having it happen all over again. The first line of my father's suicide note was please forgive me for what I am about to do. You are so right when you say forgiveness is for us and when we open our heart and allow the Divine to bless and heal our wounds, we are free. Recently I was in a "business" relationship with someone who would blow up at me and then ask me to forgive him and then tell me how wonderful I was. By doing the work and practicing my meditation I was able to walk away and just leave it behind but then had to work on releasing the anger and feeling forgiveness and compassion in my heart - feeling compassion that I was drawn to and stayed in that relationship and replace the rage and self righteous indignation with forgiveness. I think of Nelson Mandela's quote. Bless you for creating the environment for healing and wholeness to Dr. Joe and your team whether "in the room" of the workshop or through sharing these testimonials via the quantum field and collective consciousness. I am manifesting a trip to the Advanced Workshop in Toronto in August of 2018. Bless you again Henry and to you and your beautiful family--health, wholeness and healing!

Another friend shared this on Facebook this morning:

Be healed. I love those two mystical words. So simple and yet with so much spiritual authority. Be healed of all that harms you. Be healed of sorrow and grief, of anger and guilt, of envy and pride. Be healed in your mind, body and spirit. Be healed of illness, of fatigue, of pain. Be healed of worry and of fear. Be healed of broken relationships, doubts and suspicions, betrayal and separation. Be healed by being made whole, by acceptance, understanding, release and forgiveness. Be healed from deep within your soul. Be healed by the Spirit who loves you. Be healed.

It is time for me to make peace with my past. To heal and to make new to create the path to my future free from the shackles of the past. It is time for me to go the distance on my healing journey.

To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Celebrating Independence Day!

Every year on July 4th, America celebrates its Independence. It's a wonderful time to pause and reflect on the meaning of independence and freedom in our lives.

As a survivor of paralytic polio and severe childhood trauma, my freedom is dear and precious to me. During the summer of 1971, my mother and I were held hostage in our home by my father's alcoholic rages. Even though my parents were separated, he would stalk us in the evening. By 5pm we had to be in the house with the curtains and blinds closed. I pleaded with my mother to not let him in the house but she was strung out on narcotic pain medication and would let him in. On August 1, he ended his life.

Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life confined to a wheelchair.

It would be easy to feel trapped and confined by circumstances, by a sense of outrage, harbor a sense of victimization and have chosen a very different path than the path of liberation I choose to live.

Like Forrest Gump, I've learned to break free from the shackles - both literal and metaphorical of my past and like Forrest Gump, running set me free!

Today Team McManus went on a 5K run on our road to the Bermuda Marathon Weekend. I know how blessed I am to have the gift of running in my life! I know how blessed I am to celebrate my independence and freedom from some of the most horrific circumstances any human being should have to face.



Today I am celebrating Independence Day with my beautiful family through the gift of running and the gift of quality time together.

Let freedom ring!

Go the distance with strength and courage!
~Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Going the Distance: Countdown to Bermuda: On Redemption, Forgiveness and Fun

Taper time brings with it a time for reflection and setting goals for race day. For me it is also a time to reflect on goals for our race-cation.

As I was reflecting on what it means for me to run my second CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon on Sunday, the word redemption came to mind. Since the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, what everyone said would be a progressive neuromuscular disease and we don't recommend running for polio. I'd always been able to do one epic event but then I'd always crash and burn. That is until I met Dr. Ryan J. Means, a healer chiropractor whose warm incredibly skillful hands and heart that overflows with compassion have saved my life and led me on a path of redemption. While running the 2009 Boston Marathon brought me a feeling of redemption,



I was a one hit wonder.

It was not for lack of trying.

I sought out so many modalities in an effort to heal my life, feverishly writing poetry yearning to bring into manifestation being able to run unencumbered and free; free from the effects of paralytic polio and 9 years of unrelenting violence that left me imprisoned in my very own body asking the question how will I ever reclaim my life?

I could have easily identified with the aggressors as so many often do when they experience violence against themselves but instead I chose a path of compassion and working to heal others through my work as a social worker at the VA until it was time for me to heal my life.

I forgive family members who betrayed and hurt me. I forgive the bodyworkers who often times did more harm than good claiming they were the experts and knew what was best for me often times recapitulating the very relationships I was trying to heal. I forgive the medical team, the physical therapists and the massage therapist I worked with before meeting Dr. Ryan for not seeing beyond appearances to join with me to heal.

With a feeling of redemption being able to have trained for and be poised and ready to run a second CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon, feeling peace and forgiveness in my heart, continuing to heal the effects of paralytic polio and violence, I am anticipating having fun during our time in Bermuda. Last year I was very anxious about whether or not I was going to be able to go the distance. The last distance I ran was 26.2 on Boston Marathon Monday in 2009! I ran 13.1 last year, built on a great base, increased my cardio workouts using the bike and Arc Trainer at Wave Health and Fitness and imagine only a successful run on Sunday. I'm very excited about the weather forecast. The cold front is moving away from the East Coast and that means high 60's and low 70's! I'm going to be able to relax and relish time being unplugged and reading:


The after party for Bermuda Marathon Weekend takes place at the Fairmount Southampton Princess Hotel. Last year Tom and I had a quiet dinner in Hamilton. This year we are going to rock the night away celebrating healing and redemption. It's now over 10 years since that diagnosis and two years since the serious knee injury that everyone said would result in the end of my running career.

I forgive you all and overflow with gratitude for all the people who are sending such positive energy to Team McManus as we look forward to experiencing a moment of redemption when once again we cross that finish line of the 2017 Bermuda Half Marathon! (We are at the 2:43:17 mark)


To your health and wellness!
~Mary

And the day came....

Healing trauma takes incredible courage. It takes incredible courage to live through the traumatic events in the first place although we have amazing protective mechanisms that help us to survive. And then it takes raw courage to become vulnerable and face those events without those protective mechanisms.

Yes I know the Force is strong in this one otherwise I would have perished years ago.

I struggled and I hurt and I felt anxious and could not name or claim what was happening to me. I had so many blockages in my Chi - my life Force continuing to protect myself against events that happened to me decades ago.

While experiencing the reality that my family wanted me dead during a recent meditation, I experienced how amazing and awesome and Divine I am. I receive so much validation and affirmation of this reality every day and I am beginning to allow this reality to edge out what I have held in my body, my mind and my soul for decades.

While it is excruciating to experience all of what happened to me, it is incredibly liberating. I have almost full range of motion back in my left leg. I can experience my entire body and my entire Being as it was always meant to be experienced once I get through the muck and mire of the pain where everything happened. I am no longer afraid of feeling fear, rage, indignation that this could have happened to me - to anyone for that matter. I can experience the fullness of life.

While forgiveness is crucial for healing, freedom and moving forward



so too is being able to release the feelings of impotent rage that was trapped in the fiber of my Being. My journal and my divining rod of healing, my pen allow me to experience liberation from my past.

And the day came...and today was the day the culmination of many days when I could no longer hold everything tightly inside of me. It is time to grieve and allow those tears to water the beautiful garden of my soul and for me to blossom into my full potential. My heart is at once broken and healed. My energy can flow and every day I get stronger with new neuromuscular connections, new neurological connections and building new muscle through training and visualization and meditation.

And the day came...for me to shine!

#WithCompassion Reconciliation Meditation

Give the Dalai Lama, who has dedicated his life to peace and kindness, the ultimate 80th birthday present: share how you will make the world a more compassionate place using #WithCompassion. The Dalai Lama is turning 80 years old on July 6, but he doesn't want any gifts.

A few years ago I wrote this poem about compassion: (which will be in the soon to be released Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life)
The Flower of Compassion

She takes root
this fragile flower
at heart center
tendrils travel
outstretched arms
a hand to hold
a gentle sigh
petals glisten with gentle tears
a warm knowing smile
beauty to behold
holding space
for the flower of compassion to bloom.



During my meditation the other day, I felt my heart open as I felt compassion for many people who have hurt me through the years. Shortly after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in what now seems like another life time, I wrote letters of forgiveness to both of my parents. My dad asked for our forgiveness in his suicide note and so it was easier to forgive him but I know how important forgiveness is to create peace and harmony within and in the world. It was more challenging to experience forgiveness for my mother and my grandmother and it had been very challenging for me to forgive people who I experienced during the past few years of my healing journey.

In the quiet of my mind and in the openness of my heart, I was able to experience their suffering for their treatment of me was clearly a manifestation of their own suffering. I did not set out to experience a reconciliation meditation, it just happened and Tom helped me to name it after I told him what I experienced.

With compassion, with a consistent meditation practice and having like-hearted, tender-hearted people be a part of my life now, my natural state of Being - joy, gratitude, compassion, LOVE, peace, contentment, laughter, vibrancy and wholeness rise to the center of my life. Anger, frustration, judgment and hurt settle like silt and no longer have power over me. It's a beautiful practice of settling down and settling in to my natural state of Being.

When we heal ourselves with love and compassion, when we practice reconciliation and forgiveness, we heal the world!

Happy Birthday HH Dalai Lama.

Cheers! To life! To compassion! To loving ourselves well and to feeling the heal.



You can find all of my inspirational books on Amazon.