Books on the T: Feel the Heal

It's World Polio Day. It's a day to be grateful for how far the world has come in eradicating polio, a paralyzing and potentially fatal disease and the work that needs to be done because polio still threatens children in some parts of the world. The poliovirus invades the nervous system and can cause total paralysis in a matter of hours. Despite having 5 vaccines, I contracted polio at the age of 5. My best friend's mother was not vaccinated and we were playing together the day before I dropped to the ground in kindergarten class. Her mother was stricken with polio (only a much worse case than I had) on the same day. I was blessed with an earth angel of a physical therapist and physiatrist but all the work we did together could not counter the abuse I endured at the hands of family members from the age of 8 until I was 17. I survived and recovered going on to have an award winning career at the VA; and then at the age of 53 it came to me a second time with the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006.

In February of 2007, I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. I was told I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, adapt our beautiful Cape house or move to a ranch and if there was any hope of stabilizing the symptoms where they were (and they were not a pretty sight to behold) I needed to quit my full time award winning career as a VA social worker just 3 years shy of when I was "eligible" for retirement.

As I sat at my dining room table surrounded by print outs from the "new age" teachers, a most remarkable thing happened. I felt the urge to create and I felt gratitude flow through me!

I sat in a leg brace using a cane and at times a wheelchair for mobility and what did I write about?

Running the Race
Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
Everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
The polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.
Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone
and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.
Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
But with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist,
curly hair and a warm, broad smile
It tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes
the kids they poked and teased
With no support and much abuse
with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.
Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else
and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
Suffered in silence, isolated from friends-
trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team
and they were on my side.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

It foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run and many many miles filled with smiles, grit and determination.

A spigot opened in my soul. Tragedy turned into triumph through the power of my pen harnessing my imagination as I visualized myself feeling healthy, whole, happy and free. I danced in the rain without my leg brace. I ran unencumbered with beautiful metaphors igniting healing inside of me. My heart opened with gratitude flooding my body with feel good chemicals that stimulated healing. As Dr. Joe Dispenza (and many luminaries in the field of mind/body connection) said, "The subconscious mind does not know the difference between an actual experience that produces an emotion and an emotion that you fabricate by thought alone." Dr. David Hamilton's Tenth Anniversary Edition of "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body" talks extensively about how visualization can help your body to heal. My story is included in this powerful prescription for healing.

The Gift of Polio
Thank you God for the gift of polio that brought me so close to you
while paralyzed I saw your face no matter what I’d do
Many wonderful healers you sent them to me at age 5
perseverance and triumph life’s lessons learned
but my Spirit could not yet thrive.

At age 53 the gift was sent to me a second time
having time to sit and feel to heal I started to rhyme.
The second time felt worse than the first
yet your love and wisdom I found
out of pain and weakness and fatigue a remarkable spirit rebound.

Reliving all the trauma of special shoes and such
I discovered remarkable healers who brought a loving touch.
I had no clue I had such strength and the ability to grow
no matter what the outcome deep gratitude I show.

This gift so precious I live a new life gratitude flows from me
my heart and soul are filled with grace each day’s a gift from thee.

I was blessed to "drop" my book, "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life" as part of the Books on the T program here in Boston as part of World Polio Day.
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Here is the tweet from Books on the T:
Today is WorldPolioDay and we’re sharing FeeltheHeal, a book of poetry about surviving and recovering from this devastating childhood illness by Mary McManus. Find it on the T (you may even find it left by Mary!) booksonthet



Riders on the T are going to have the opportunity to feel the heal through the power of my words and be inspired by my transformation from a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and severe trauma at the hands of family members to a woman who embodies faith, grace under fire, courage, determination, endurance and resilience.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary




My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.


Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):


***Coming Soon - The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953***
The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953 takes you on Mary McManus’ healing odyssey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December 2006, Mary got still and asked for Divine Guidance. She harnessed the power of her mind to heal her body, feverishly writing poetry in which she imagined herself healthy, whole and free from the shackles of her youth. Mary’s quest to heal her life led her to the sport of running that tested her mettle while fueling her journey of transformation from a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and severe trauma at the hands of family members to a woman who embodies faith, grace under fire, courage, determination, endurance and resilience. Running became a way of life for Mary. As you’ll discover in “The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” nothing, not even a serious knee injury in December of 2014 could stop her on the roads or in her life. Mary’s story is one that will leave you cheering for the underdog and discovering the meaning of different ability as Mary overcame every challenge that life presented to her.

Going the Distance: World Polio Day - Overcoming Obstacles - On Gifts, Gratitude and Healing

Shortly after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006, I discovered the healing power of poetry in my soul. Despite experiencing chronic pain and fatigue and facing an uncertain future, when I wrote poetry, I immersed myself emotionally in a future time of being completely healed from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma and transformed the past with poems of gratitude and forgiveness.

The Gift of Polio
Thank you God for the gift of polio that brought me so close to you
while paralyzed I saw your face no matter what I’d do
Many wonderful healers you sent them to me at age 5
perseverance and triumph life’s lessons learned
but my Spirit could not yet thrive.

At age 53 the gift was sent to me a second time
having time to sit and feel to heal I started to rhyme.
The second time felt worse than the first
yet your love and wisdom I found
out of pain and weakness and fatigue a remarkable spirit rebound.

Reliving all the trauma of special shoes and such
I discovered remarkable healers who brought a loving touch.
I had no clue I had such strength and the ability to grow
no matter what the outcome deep gratitude I show.

This gift so precious I live a new life gratitude flows from me
my heart and soul are filled with grace each day’s a gift from thee.

As I did my Cardio Workout - 6.3 miles combined on the Arc Trainer and the Bike at my gym, I thought about how blessed I am to experience the miracle of healing in my life in the wake of having contracted paralytic polio and enduring unrelenting violence at the hands of family members. It's training day 4/5 on the road to Bermuda Half Marathon III.

Eleven years ago I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Three years ago in December I was told I shouldn't run anymore following a very serious knee injury due in part to the effects of paralytic polio and having an atrophied calf muscle in my left leg. I required 5 surgeries on my left leg through the years including reconstructive leg surgery over 20 years ago. The MRI in December of 2014 indicated that I would need a total knee replacement in a few years. I was told to stop running and received an invitation to return to the Post Polio Clinic for a reevaluation. I opted out of Western Medicine and was blessed to meet Ryan J. Means, DC who in turn introduced me to the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. I continue to practice Dr. Joe's teachings as I continue to heal my life.

Instead of accepting that invitation to return to the Post Polio Clinic, I received and accepted an invitational entry in April to the Bermuda Marathon Weekend now just 80 days away.

On this, World Polio Day I give thanks for the vaccines that are being administered worldwide and the campaign through Rotary International and the Gates Foundation that has brought the number of cases worldwide to less than 20. I know first hand the obstacles and challenges that come with contracting paralytic polio. Unfortunately there are many in the U.S. who are experiencing the challenges and obstacle of Post-Polio Syndrome as I had for many years and continue to heal the effects of paralytic polio and trauma.

The incidence of postpolio syndrome (PPS) in previous acute polio patients ranges from approximately 22-68%. The prevalence of the PPS was estimated at 28.5% of all paralytic polio cases. The current prevalence is approximately 1.6 million cases. Suggestions have been made that 100% of polio survivors, if tracked for a long period, can develop some symptoms of PPS. Source: https://emedicine.medscape.com/article/306920-overview#a6

Yet, as I say in my poem, I also know the gifts that polio and Post-Polio Syndrome have brought into my life.

I had a mystical experience when I was 5 years old lying paralyzed on the couch as I write about in my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":
As I lay on the couch, my mother glared at me smoking a cigarette. I had to go to the bathroom but I knew better than to ask her. I learned that I had to wait until my father or grandfather came home to be toileted. I had a vision. This beautiful Being with a flowing white beard appeared. A hand was extended to me to climb into a well bucket only there was no hand. I climbed into the well bucket even though I lay paralyzed on the couch. I was reeled up to meet this Being and then I returned to my paralyzed body. I knew that somehow I was going to make it through this mess.
After experiencing this vision, I saw this Being everywhere I looked. I saw the Being in my storybook. Whether my eyes were open or closed this Being was with me. Guardian Angel? or hallucination from the fever and pain of polio? I cast my vote for Guardian Angel that was there to protect me. Despite the emotional and physical pain, the abject terror I was experiencing, somewhere within me I felt peace and comfort.
I regained movement of my right arm and leg but my left arm and leg remained paralyzed. At least I could wiggle around a little on the couch and could hold my books. Here I was with this cold, angry, rejecting woman smoking a cigarette who would not and could not touch me, waiting for my father or grandfather to come home to meet my basic needs. Despite the precarious predicament I was in, I had a sense of safety. This was my first of many experiences of being touched by grace.

“Hi – I’m from the March of Dimes. I understand your daughter has polio. May I come in and see her?”

“Yes, someone has come for me,” I thought.

She helped me down onto the carpeted floor.

“Let me see how you can move…can you move from side to side? Can you roll over?” she gently asked me.

“Boy you are one of the lucky ones…”

“Really?” I thought to myself – “this is lucky?”

But she was right. There were many children who were institutionalized and in iron lungs. There were many children and adults who never regained movement after paralysis and there were thousands who died in the polio epidemics. Yes indeed I was one of the lucky ones. And although my mother did not have the capacity to care for me and about me, I had my spirit guide who invited me to make a choice. I chose life.

Shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul. That first poem, "Running the Race", foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run AND got me into running, the best sport in the world!



World Polio Day is a day to celebrate the efforts of the World Health Organization, Rotary International and the Gates Foundation in their effort to eradicate polio worldwide. It's a day to bring awareness to the work that still needs to be done to end polio now.

World Polio Day is a day for me to reflect on the gift of polio and Post-Polio Syndrome in my life and the miracle of healing that I have been able to create through the grace of God. It's a day for me to celebrate all that I have overcome!

To going the distance with strength and courage
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Be sure to listen to my interview with Keith Cartwright, "From Polio Survivor to Boston Marathon Finisher" by following this link.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):