Celebrating National Poetry Month: Creating the Masterpiece of My Life

Victor Frankl was a survivor of the Holocaust. Through his experience in the Concentration Camps, he garnered a lot of wisdom about our capacity to survive the most horrific circumstances. He developed an existential approach to psychiatry and his work has greatly influenced my recovery from severe childhood trauma.

While we have no control over the circumstances in our lives, we do have control over how we respond to them.


The diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006 served as a wake up call to me; that I needed to pay attention to what my body was telling me and how my soul cried out for healing. I was so blessed to discover the gift of poetry in my soul. My pen became my divining rod for healing.

As I wrote poetry releasing me from the bonds and bondage of my past, my body began to heal. As I wrote poems about gratitude and forgiveness my heart healed and as I fired up the power of my imagination, my Spirit soared.

As I wrote poetry I created the masterpiece of my life by being connected to the Master Artist of all.

The Art of Being Present from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

Each moment is a blank canvas
smudges and splotches only in mind's eye
raindrops from the heart
wash away the past.
Each moment is an opportunity
overflowing with possibility.

How shall I paint this moment?

My portrait once a still life
now
in stillness
life force leaps

dancer
lover of life
a geyser of joy
a river of happiness
gratitude flows
fragrant flowers sweetness
strong roots
lit with softness of sun's tender embrace
back from the edge
the ledge between life and death
creating the masterpiece of my life
one breath at a time.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours,
Mary

Proud to be a part of Friends of Blue Diamond Athletic Displays, Inc. Be sure to visit us at Booth 758 during Boston Marathon Weekend.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


And my latest and greatest book - Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):

Giving Thanks: From Why Me to Try Me

As I was standing underneath the hot shower yesterday, I started wondering..."What is up with this challenging situation that reminds me of several other challenging situations I have been through before?" My mind started wandering to maybe it's karma from a previous lifetime or what am I doing to attract this into my life ... and then the hot water showered grace upon me. I felt Bernie Siegel's presence saying to me, "It's life. Remember what I talk about - say try me instead of why me. Would you want someone else to be going through what you are going through right now? You have the strength to handle anything life sets before you."

Peace and gratitude and yes even a sense of unbridled joy washed over me.



As synchronicity would have it, one of my dear soul mates on Facebook, Stacey Chiew posted this today:

Life is holy shit. God may prefer the term "compost" but it amounts to the same thing. We all have our problems but those problems redirect us and teach us to grow. Our difficulties fertilize our lives. The enlightened individual--and the happy family--knows that possibilities grow out of problems. People who know how to be happy say, "Thank you, God, for the fertilizer," while the unhappy cry out, "Oh God, why us?" - Excerpted from Prescriptions for Living, Bernie Siegel



Shortly after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome 9 years ago next month, I returned to the teachings of Bernie and started writing poetry to heal. I remembered what he said about turning challenges into gifts and this is one of the early poems I wrote:

The Gift of Polio

Thank you God for the gift of polio that brought me so close to you
while paralyzed I saw your face no matter what I’d do
Many wonderful healers you sent them to me at age 5
perseverance and triumph life’s lessons learned
but my Spirit could not yet thrive.

At age 53 the gift was sent to me a second time
having time to sit and feel to heal I started to rhyme.
The second time felt worse than the first
yet your love and wisdom I found
out of pain and weakness and fatigue a remarkable spirit rebound.

Reliving all the trauma of special shoes and such
I discovered remarkable healers who brought a loving touch.
I had no clue I had such strength and the ability to grow
no matter what the outcome deep gratitude I show.

This gift so precious I live a new life gratitude flows from me
my heart and soul are filled with grace each day’s a gift from thee.

More recently I wrote this poem:

Gratitude Tingles

Heart opens in quiet, eyes are closed gratitudes trickle then flow
the basics a home, good food and love awareness begins to grow.
Each beat of my heart reminds me I’m a miracle of life
grace showers constantly upon me relieving alleviating strife.

Goosebumps with each reflection every breath a moment to pause
gratitude tingles feel the warmth relaxing unclenching jaws.
Grateful to now be fully alive so blessed to be kissed awake
appreciation flows in every vein for granted nothing I take.

What joy there is in this journey let Spirit within ever reign
trusting in goodness and kindness erases all fear and pain.
Memory traces from the past pale and fade when connected to Loving Source
gratitude overpowers correcting direction on my life’s course.

In moments of meditation happiness joy and peace
from the depths of my soul a fountain grateful blessings increase.
Lips upturn into beautiful smile from head’s crown to tip of toes
gratitude tingles tickling trail of delight everywhere gratitude goes.

The holidays can be a magical and magnificent time but they can also be a time filled with sadness and heartache. We may not get to choose the circumstances of our lives because life happens but we can certainly choose how to respond to what happens.

I choose gratitude and giving thanks. How about you?

Freedom is a State of Mind

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we forget that the door to the Universe, the portal of possibility as I like to call it is wide open. We forget that regardless of our physical circumstances we can experience freedom in our mind, heart and soul.

Victor Frankl speaks to this in Man's Search for Meaning.


At the age of 5, I contracted paralytic polio. I was one of the lucky ones not needing to be in the hospital and not needing an iron lung. I was initially paralyzed from the neck down but soon regained a little movement on my right side. My left side remained paralyzed for several months but with the help of a leg brace and an amazing physiatrist and physical therapist, I was able to walk again.

After coming out of my leg brace, my dad's alcoholism manifested in rape and rage; my mother was addicted to prescription pain meds and my grandmother was just flat out nuts and subjected me to all sorts of torture rituals when we would spend weekends with her in the Bronx.

I managed to become valedictorian of my high school class and had a stellar social work career at the VA until everything caught up with me and my body shut down; my Spirit cried out for healing in 2006 in the guise of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease.

What got me through my childhood and adolescence was my imagination. I always held onto hope and I always imagined being taken care of (often calling upon the likes of the TV doctors at the time). I was blessed to have earth angels come into my life who provided me with enough unconditional love and support to make it through.

When my life came to a screeching halt in December of 2006, I went back into a leg brace and used a wheelchair at times for mobility. I once again turned inward and I let my heart and soul speak. I started writing poetry - well poetry started flowing out of me is more to the point as though my body shutting down turned on a spigot in my heart and soul. My imagination took over and transcended all that was happening in my body as I wrote the poem, "Running the Race."

It was a foreshadowing of my 2009 Boston Marathon run. Now I couldn't just sit back and imagine that I would run the Boston Marathon, I had to train and work hard to be able to get to the starting line in Hopkinton since I'd never run a day in my life. But had I not harnessed the power of visualization through meditation and writing poetry and feeling myself cross that finish line with every training run, I'm not so sure I would have been able to get to the finish line on 4/20/2009.

Because of all that my physical body and heart/mind/Spirit has experienced, it's easy for me to default to feeling like a prisoner in my body and in my life, not walking away from situations that are draining my energy; and just having enough energy to survive. Like that bird in the cage, I can forget that the door is wide open for me to fly free.

That is transforming now. I've decided to kick fear to the curb and move forward in my training and in my life with renewed vigor and determination. I am so blessed to partner with Dr. Ryan of Elevate Health Cambridge who believes in endless possibilities; who know the body's infinite capacity to heal and who are willing to work with me, to laugh with me, to cry with me and join me on my latest quest to reignite the endurance runner within me.

When I push myself in my strength training workouts I can feel the marathoner within me fire up. While right now I am race walking, I can imagine myself running - actually running - with ease and grace and I know that one day it will all come together and happen. I can see it and feel it happening in my body; being around the running community and watching races ignites the neuromuscular pathways for healing in my own body.

And so with a chiropractic physician, a muscular therapist, my husband by my side stride by stride, a wonderful community of running family, my own fierce determination which combines meditation, visualization and a training plan I:

Pave the Path of Freedom

Frivolous frolicking filly be not deceived by her devil may care
eye of the tiger a fiery soul exceeding all limits she’ll dare.
She pounds pavement paving her way no longer driven by fright
portal to possibility all she’s ever dreamed of now within sight.
Thundrous hooves determined and strong unbecoming all that she once knew
leave her old self in the dust shedding past of all she lived through.
Pave the way to embrace herself as she was always meant to be
spirit joyful rejoicing being herself unbridled she’s free.
Competing with no one but herself she instinctively quickens her pace
no longer limping swift of foot overflowing with ease and grace.
Feeling Spirit expanding with breath nostrils flare and peace fills her soul
filled with goodness and kindness undefeated remarkably whole.

"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy" - Rumi



Be blessed. Journey well. To all good things....

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

We can't control the weather....

...or what happens in life but we can choose our perspective and our response (notice I deliberately did not use the word reaction) to what is happening.



I felt that familiar solar plexus clutch happening. Snow and more snow and a media feeding frenzy of showing the worst scenario forecast. How will I get to my therapy appointments that are critical for me to continue to heal and rehab? What if's abounded not to mention feeling incredibly frustrated that my husband has to do all of the snow clean up and had a 2 hour commute to get home from work last night. As a survivor of years and years of trauma and being in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel across from The Forum on 4/15/13, it's easy for me to imagine and plan for the worst case scenario. My reactions and emotions can get the best of me ... and then I pause ...

Now leaving extra time and planning ahead is important. It's being able to do so with equanimity rather than panic that is the key to freedom and being able to enjoy life. As news came in about the gridlock traffic and problems with the T for last night's commute, I decided to try a new recipe to keep our side dishes warm. The salmon did get a little dried out but overall we had a really great albeit later than usual dinner together. Rather than allow my body's own feeding frenzy to happen, I laid down and put on music. Our beloved cat Jamie thought this was a most excellent idea and she curled up next to me. But before I did, as I saw the Facebook stream explode with latest computer models and outrage at the MBTA, I posted:

Instead of sharing photos of weather maps, I am sharing some of my favorite moments from this summer



Coincidentally these are some of my favorite moments that I capture in "Journey Well".

Some of my friends followed my lead and began posting their favorite summer memories. You could almost feel the shift in the barometric pressure.

Tom was planning to go out last night after work to stock up on ice melt and sand but the stores had already closed by the time he got home. Instead, he headed out this morning before work and stocked up on supplies and also topped off our gas tank. Our snow blower has a full gas tank and we are ready for whatever comes. He loves being able to do this for me and we both know how fortunate we are that he is healthy and able bodied at almost 63 years old. And he also reminds me that life is a marathon - and we do what we affectionately call a relay complementing each other's strengths and abilities going the distance together.

So while we can't control the weather and I can't control what happened to me or that I live with the effects of paralytic polio, I can certainly choose how I want to live my life. Stay tuned for more reflections on this theme in tomorrow's post ....

Journey well!

"Journey Well" and all of my inspirational books are available on Amazon.

"Journey Well" is a book about resilience, strength, courage and how we are able to journey well no matter what conditions life hands to us. I profile the people who are Boston Stronger and share how 4/15/13 was a wake up call to me to return to my healing path from contracting paralytic polio at age 5 and 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent.



50% of all book proceeds are donated to AccesSportAmerica where people of all ages and abilities achieve higher function and fitness through high challenge sports and training.

Choose Your View

There's a beautiful inspirational story that you may have heard of two men in a hospital room. One man has his bed by the window and he describes these beautiful scenes each day of the scene outside of the window. The man in the bed away from the window uses his imagination and feels wonderful during the special hour each day when the man describes the scene. Sadly, one day, the man in the bed by the window dies. The man in the next bed asks the nurse if he can have the bed by the window. When he looks out of the window expecting to see this beautiful scene, all he sees is a brick wall. The nurse tells him that the man who had the bed by the window was blind; that is he was without sight but certainly not without vision. He chose his view and perspective not only for himself but to bring joy to his hospital roommate.



As I presented for yesterday's treatment with Joseph at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork, I told him that I was nervous about our cat Jamie. I told Joseph that I knew there was nothing for me to do but relax during the treatment and to know that the Universe was taking care of her. She was undergoing a dental procedure and it was going much longer than expected. Joseph suggested that I imagine all the beautiful things that were happening to make sure that she had good dental health and would be better after the surgery.

As I was leaving, I thanked Joseph for the wisdom he shared with me before the treatment. He said that even though there may have been more work done than we anticipated, and it might be difficult getting through the recovery period, it would have a wonderful outcome in the long run.

When I got to my car and checked my phone, there was a text from Angell Memorial Hospital with the caption, "Waking up mom. Did great!"



Jamie's vet called an hour later to explain that she needed to have three teeth extracted and while the recovery period might be a little rough, once we got through it, she will be much better off in the long run. She was at risk for infection and had also been in pain. Jamie is a sweet girl which is what the dentist confirmed on Jamie's discharge papers. She would, however, meow after breakfast every morning and would rub the side of her mouth against the furniture. I'm so glad that she's on the road to recovery and can get relief.

We have no control over the outcomes and experiences that come our way in this journey of life. There is one thing we always have control over and that is how we choose our view.



When we remember we have the freedom to choose our attitude, we can journey well.

"Journey Well" is available in Paperback and Kindle edition on Amazon


We are having a Book Release Party on January 10th from 5:30-7:30pm at the birthplace of Journey Well, Sollievo Massage and Bodywork, 2285 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA. Hope you can join us if you are in the greater Boston area.

A Day of Remembrance - My Hope for Today

Thirteen years ago today I was seeing a patient in my office at the VA Outpatient Clinic on what was a glorious New England September morning. Upstairs, the Drop In Center had on the TV as they did every morning while veterans gathered with coffee and donuts to shoot pool and be part of a safe, therapeutic milieu to help them heal.

When I came out of my office to see if my next patient had arrived, everyone was gathered together looking for leadership or guidance of what we were to do next. They filled me in on the scant details we knew at the time. We shared our building on Causeway Street with State employees. They evacuated. As federal employees we were ordered to stay in place.

The phone lines were busy but eventually I was able to get through to my husband who fortunately was at home for the day. He would be available to our 8th grade twins. My job as a clinical social worker was to be available to the veterans to provide support and crisis intervention.

Last Saturday I was interviewed on The Jordan Rich Show. Jordan asked me how did I not become angry and bitter after living through 9 years of unrelenting violence; sexual and physical assaults at the hands of my father and grandmother. He went on, thinking out loud, you turned it inward didn't you?

Indeed I did until my body, mind and Spirit cried out for healing in the form of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease.

Gratitude and forgiveness became the cornerstones of my foundation for healing. I looked to the wisdom of those who went before me who also suffered man's inhumanity to man to find comfort and healing.



On this, the 13th anniversary of 9/11, my hope is that we can experience healing.

I'd like to soften never forget into always remember...always remember and hold dear in your heart those who died. Love never dies and they are with us today to bless our lives with the legacy and memories they left behind.

Always remember the bravery of those on the flights and those who lost their lives saving others. Always remember the kindness, caring and compassion that followed 9/11 and let us remember that we don't need a tragedy to be kind, caring and compassionate to ourselves and to each other.

Always remember that love is stronger than fear and darkness never wins.

My hope for today is that when we face a person's wrath, we can maintain equanimity within ourselves. When life circumstances shake us to the core, my hope for today is that we do remember who we are and be soft