Celebrating Twelve Years of Healing: Healing Trauma

The past week has been particularly intense for me and sadly for many many women who have been triggered by events in the news. Having contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5 followed by enduring years of sexual, physical and emotional abuse manifested in the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome twelve years ago. Two of the most challenging symptoms were difficulty breathing and swallowing. During my speech and swallow evaluation, we discovered that the left side of my esophagus was sluggish and I was aspirating food into my lungs. I was taught techniques to minimize the risk of aspiration and as my body healed as I healed the breach in my mind/body connection through the power of visualization, the swallowing and breathing issues dramatically improved. I wrote poetry in which I imagined myself healthy, whole and free and running the race even though I sat in a leg brace and was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair!

When I get stressed, I am vulnerable to breathing and swallowing issues.

The combination of events in the news with the increased family stress challenged all of my coping resources. I added in the image of placing all of the thoughts and situations that were creating physical stress in my body into a hot air balloon. I even downloaded Up, Up and Away and added it to my running playlist. I wrote a lot in my journal peeling away the layers of my reaction to different stressors. Yet I could feel the stress continue to build in my body.



When I presented for yesterday's chiropractic treatment with Dr. Lizzie I shared how my back opened and my breath deepened after our last treatment. My right hip was finally moving freely after putting it through the rigors of 3 Bermuda Half Marathons in as many years.

"But," I went on to say with an involuntary cough.

"You have a cough," Dr. Lizzie said.

We talked about the tightness I felt in my chest and throat. What amazes me about Dr. Lizzie and the way she practices chiropractic care is that whenever I present with an issue, she has something to offer to treat it with a mindful, gentle approach checking in with me to ensure that she is in fact bringing healing and not re-traumatizing me.

I felt wonderful after the treatment but knew I had more work to do to clear the area of congestion.

I got to work in my morning meditation.

I thought about how I could obliterate the perpetrators who abused me for 9 years. I am not a violent person! I went from shooting them to shooting them with an air gun like you do at an amusement park and realized this would not do!

Tom and I have been on a decluttering adventure. It's been several years since we went on a decluttering spree and we knew it was time to do it again. I've been decluttering closets, my thoughts and my laptop. I was over the limit on my iCloud space. I went in and deleted videos and photos.

DELETE! That's it! I can hit the delete button to delete the trauma and the people associated with the trauma. I needed to erase it from my hard drive. So much stress built up inside of me from the past and present and in order to prevent a crash of my hard drive, I needed to dump data!

The next step in the process was to get to work on healing my throat and chest. I could sense that I was experiencing acid reflux that was contributing to the sensations I experienced. I created the image of a beautiful plush elevator with red velvet lining and there was only one direction for the elevator - down! I took deep breaths and allowed healing to happen.

To address the sense of constriction I felt in my throat and heart, I remembered how Dr. Lizzie's hands felt creating space. The image of being on a JetBlue flight with extra leg room and wider seats just popped into my mind. Aaah - feel all that space and reclaim this area as my own.

I thought about those cells in my throat, in my diaphragm muscles and the SCM muscles that Dr. Lizzie worked on while providing me with patient education.

I saw them as happy and free no longer affected by the polio virus or the trauma. I saw them dancing and then the song "Brand New Day" from The Wiz provided the musical accompaniment to my healing visualization.


I felt tightness release and the involuntary coughing spasms ceased! I kept repeating over and over and over again, "Thank You God. Thank You God." I took deep deep breaths and when I felt a hint of the congestion and spasm return I reminded myself of all the images accompanied by "Brand New Day" to fuel the momentum of healing. As the symptoms wax and wane in the face of stress, I will continue to practice these new images and thoughts. I imprinted and gave thanks for every wave of peace, ease and comfort I experienced. I said "Thank you for serenity. Thank you for hearing my prayers. Thank you for the gift of healing."

I am so blessed and grateful for the healing tools I've acquired over the past 12 years. I've dissolved a breast tumor, healed a lesion on my nose, grown new knee cartilage and a new gastroc muscle and prevented the need for a total knee replacement which is what the doctors and PT's said I would need after a serious knee injury in December of 2014. I have certainly stopped the progression of Post-Polio Syndrome and when these spasms and issues arise, I see them as opportunities to heal on deeper and deeper levels. The latest additions to my toolkit for healing, in addition to weekly chiropractic treatments with Dr. Lizzie, are the soundtrack from Heal Documentary, Dr. Joe Dispenza's Blessing of the Energy Centers for afternoon meditations, and reading Dr. David Hamilton's "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Tenth Anniversary Edition." Even though my healing story with Post-Polio Syndrome is included in the book, reading the science and being inspired by others' healing stories is helping me to write the next chapters of my healing journey.

I'm celebrating twelve years of healing, ten years of running and finding creative ways to take my health and wellness journey to deeper and deeper levels of healing. I shed the identity as a victim of my past and feel empowered as I let go and fly free unencumbered by the circumstances around me. As Peter A. Levine said, "Trauma is hell on earth. Trauma resolved is a gift from the gods."

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.


Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):


***Coming Soon - The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953***

Celebrating Ten Years of Running: Hard Days Are the Best

We planned to go to South Boston to run but by the time we got ourselves together this morning it was mid-morning. We regrouped and chose to go out the front door and run around the Cleveland Circle Reservoir.

The temperatures were cooler than in recent weeks but I could still feel the humidity.

During the past several weeks, I have been extremely successful at pushing my pace, celebrating 10 years of running; focusing on speed rather than endurance. They were hot and tough runs yet I wouldn't classify them as hard runs.

I define a hard run as one in which I don't feel a mind/body coherence. It's a run that challenges me to be present and to go beyond the sensations I may be feeling in my body.

These last few days challenged me in ways that took me by surprise. I did not think there was anything left to surprise me as I journeyed through these past 4 years with our daughter's mental health challenges but these past few days really topped anything we'd experienced in these past 4 years. The details aren't important but the stress certainly took a toll on me. As soon as we began our run I felt a tightness in my right IT band and knee. I dialed back the pace. Tom and I debriefed about the events of the past few days while we ran. I felt the heaviness in my body from a poor night's sleep. I could have easily turned around and gone home. There's no accountability for my runs and workouts except to myself and perhaps my followers in social media. It is so important for me to honor my goals and commitment to my health and wellness journey.

The Reservoir was beautiful and we could sense the transformation from summer to autumn in the shades of green on the trees.

The water glistened with the reflection of the sun.

My pace was much slower than what I'd been running the past few weeks but still an improvement from post Bermuda Half marathon 5K pace. I sent lots of love to my right leg and had the epiphany that the events of the past few days stirred up the trauma I experienced as a child. With that realization, I drew from the sun and the water to send healing energy to my right IT band. I've been meditating to the soundtrack of the Heal Documentary and heard Michael Bernard Beckwith's voice saying, "You can heal anything. Life has trusted you. Breathe into that!"

I felt deeply grateful for the gift of running in my life and the gift of running with Tom every Saturday and Monday morning. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, having been told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, every step on the pavement is a gift. We honored how hurt and tired we felt yet there we were out on the roads doing everything we could to shake off the events of the past few days.

We had negative splits.

Even though my pace was slower than what I'd been running in recent weeks, my mental game was strong. When we came off of the Reservoir and ran up the hill, I pushed myself to not stop before our water stop at the 2nd yellow pole on the bridge heading toward a downhill. It was a big victory for me to be in charge of my run rather than allowing the circumstances to impose on my run.



Tom went on to deposit a total of 8 miles in the Bank of Bermuda on the road to his fourth consecutive Bermuda Half Marathon!

I saw this post on Facebook from Kelly Noonan Gores, the Director of Heal Documentary:

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. Accept, and then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. This will miraculously change your life.” -Eckhart Tolle
Of the many “aha moments” I had earlier this week, the biggest was about resistance to what is. Therein lies our suffering. To truly believe that Life/Universe/God is always for you, never against you, and to TRUST and BREATHE while you are going through an unwanted circumstance, that is the key to freedom and healing.

When I woke up this morning and at the beginning of my run, it would have been easy to take another rest day. I refused to let external circumstances overtake me.

Hard days and hard runs: They are the best....When you push through them you know you can get through anything!

Celebrating 10 years of running deeply grateful for the gifts that running has brought into my life...especially when a 5K run helps me make it to the other side of hard.

From my heart to yours,
To your health and wellness,
Mary

My healing journey is going to be featured in David R. Hamilton's soon to be released book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body." It's available for pre-order on Amazon.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):