Freedom is a State of Mind

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we forget that the door to the Universe, the portal of possibility as I like to call it is wide open. We forget that regardless of our physical circumstances we can experience freedom in our mind, heart and soul.

Victor Frankl speaks to this in Man's Search for Meaning.


At the age of 5, I contracted paralytic polio. I was one of the lucky ones not needing to be in the hospital and not needing an iron lung. I was initially paralyzed from the neck down but soon regained a little movement on my right side. My left side remained paralyzed for several months but with the help of a leg brace and an amazing physiatrist and physical therapist, I was able to walk again.

After coming out of my leg brace, my dad's alcoholism manifested in rape and rage; my mother was addicted to prescription pain meds and my grandmother was just flat out nuts and subjected me to all sorts of torture rituals when we would spend weekends with her in the Bronx.

I managed to become valedictorian of my high school class and had a stellar social work career at the VA until everything caught up with me and my body shut down; my Spirit cried out for healing in 2006 in the guise of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease.

What got me through my childhood and adolescence was my imagination. I always held onto hope and I always imagined being taken care of (often calling upon the likes of the TV doctors at the time). I was blessed to have earth angels come into my life who provided me with enough unconditional love and support to make it through.

When my life came to a screeching halt in December of 2006, I went back into a leg brace and used a wheelchair at times for mobility. I once again turned inward and I let my heart and soul speak. I started writing poetry - well poetry started flowing out of me is more to the point as though my body shutting down turned on a spigot in my heart and soul. My imagination took over and transcended all that was happening in my body as I wrote the poem, "Running the Race."

It was a foreshadowing of my 2009 Boston Marathon run. Now I couldn't just sit back and imagine that I would run the Boston Marathon, I had to train and work hard to be able to get to the starting line in Hopkinton since I'd never run a day in my life. But had I not harnessed the power of visualization through meditation and writing poetry and feeling myself cross that finish line with every training run, I'm not so sure I would have been able to get to the finish line on 4/20/2009.

Because of all that my physical body and heart/mind/Spirit has experienced, it's easy for me to default to feeling like a prisoner in my body and in my life, not walking away from situations that are draining my energy; and just having enough energy to survive. Like that bird in the cage, I can forget that the door is wide open for me to fly free.

That is transforming now. I've decided to kick fear to the curb and move forward in my training and in my life with renewed vigor and determination. I am so blessed to partner with Dr. Ryan of Elevate Health Cambridge who believes in endless possibilities; who know the body's infinite capacity to heal and who are willing to work with me, to laugh with me, to cry with me and join me on my latest quest to reignite the endurance runner within me.

When I push myself in my strength training workouts I can feel the marathoner within me fire up. While right now I am race walking, I can imagine myself running - actually running - with ease and grace and I know that one day it will all come together and happen. I can see it and feel it happening in my body; being around the running community and watching races ignites the neuromuscular pathways for healing in my own body.

And so with a chiropractic physician, a muscular therapist, my husband by my side stride by stride, a wonderful community of running family, my own fierce determination which combines meditation, visualization and a training plan I:

Pave the Path of Freedom

Frivolous frolicking filly be not deceived by her devil may care
eye of the tiger a fiery soul exceeding all limits she’ll dare.
She pounds pavement paving her way no longer driven by fright
portal to possibility all she’s ever dreamed of now within sight.
Thundrous hooves determined and strong unbecoming all that she once knew
leave her old self in the dust shedding past of all she lived through.
Pave the way to embrace herself as she was always meant to be
spirit joyful rejoicing being herself unbridled she’s free.
Competing with no one but herself she instinctively quickens her pace
no longer limping swift of foot overflowing with ease and grace.
Feeling Spirit expanding with breath nostrils flare and peace fills her soul
filled with goodness and kindness undefeated remarkably whole.

"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy" - Rumi



Be blessed. Journey well. To all good things....

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Running Family and The James Joyce Ramble

We are so blessed to be a part of the running community. It's an amazing sport where whether you are an elite runner or a back of the pack runner like myself, we inspire each other to be the very best we can be. We share triumphs and tribulations. We talk about and share the frustration of injuries and tips to recover from injuries. We love to regale each other with our war stories and our stories of how running has transformed our lives.

Reno Stirrat is known as the Master of Boston. He’s one of 31 people who have logged a sub-3:00 marathon for five decades in a row. We belong to L Street Running Club and connected on Facebook, meeting at the Boston Marathon Expo a few years ago when he was at the Outside Interactive Booth. He posts daily inspirational quotes about running and life on Facebook and we became close cyberspace friends. He moved to New Jersey to care for his elderly mother but when I found out that he and his wife Susan would be coming to Boston for the James Joyce Ramble this weekend, I signed Tom up for the race.

We had an amazing dinner at the Yard House in Dedham last night.



Two and a half hours seemed to fly by. There was never a gap in the flow of conversation and there was such comfort and ease along with delicious food. Reno and Susan are both coming back from injuries. They are using a combination of acupuncture, chiropractic care, PT and cross training exercises to heal and recover from their injuries. Tom is emerging from 3 1/2 years of incredible job stress so that he now has the time to train and enjoy running again. I have been helping him cross train using the exercises that Dr. Ryan of Elevate Health Cambridge has recommended to help me with recovery from my knee injury and to complement my running. As we said good night, we all felt the energy and inspiration generated by our get together that carried us into Sunday.

When we arrived at the Endicott Estate, it was like walking onto a movie set:


We bumped into one of our fellow L Streeter's, Mary Scherr:


and were able to find Reno and Susan:




The Masters Championship runners went off 3 minutes ahead of the regular field and I was able to capture these two photos of Susan before and during the start of the race:


I took a video of the field taking off:


And then moved to the finish line to see Reno run a sub 6 minute mile taking 2nd in his AG by 4 seconds:


In a stunning upset, Susan took 3rd place in her AG. Here is Team Stirrat with their medals:


And then there's Tom's PR by almost 8 minutes from his last 10K, the BAA 10K in October and I have a story to share:


Recently, Tom and I have been talking about him taking me on a run with him. In today's race, he told me that I was with him - pure Spirit - light, easy and free and he visualized me running side by side with him keeping pace at an 8:48 minute/mile pace. I could feel it. Being with Reno and Susan Saturday evening, reminiscing about when I trained for Boston and sharing my goal to run another marathon, being around the energy of the race and feeling myself running with Tom out on the course is fueling my healing and transformation. During a meditation, I had this awareness. "It's so simple. All I have to do is remember. Remember how I felt in my body before paralytic polio and violence took its toll." And with remembering how I felt combined with incredibly hard work of training and cross training, we will create the reality of us running together - running together - with ease and a steady pace.

That's what happens when you have the unconditional love and support of running family who believe that anything is possible - regardless of age or circumstances.



Be blessed. Journey well. To all good things....



My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

"Creating better memories" - Part 2

There are so many stories of survivors' resilience and creating better memories than those we all have from 4/15/13. While many wounds are reopened and raw with the penalty phase of the trial happening in Boston, those wounds will heal and all that will remain are these better memories as we continue to move forward in our lives; as our love, strength and resolve as a Boston Strong survivor family continue to grow.

Hafsa Lewis Labreche had some training in emergency medicine which she was able to use to help save the life of Brittany Loring on 4/15/13. Together they forged a friendship and a Foundation to help trauma survivors. Her thoughts after running the 2015 Boston Marathon:
I am so OVERWHELMED with love and support it is seeping through my pores. I never in a MILLION years thought I would (or could) run a Marathon... let alone, arguably, the greatest Marathon in the world. Before this journey I had never run more than 8 miles…what I have learned in these last few months is that you are capable of FAR more than you could possibly imagine. If you TELL yourself you can do something…you absolutely CAN. Face your fears head on or as my dear friend Ben Foley says “Embrace the Suck". When I took that left on Boylston St yesterday, I took back an image of the Finish Line that has been seared in my memory for the last two years, whats more, I ran for a cause that has become a big part of me in so many ways. Saying "thank you” doesn’t quite seem like enough, to all of those who supported me, listened, gave advice and pushed me until I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore…you have all unequivocally changed me as person. I am honored to be the first Boston Marathon Runner for the The Brittany Fund for Trauma and Recovery and I know I will certainly not be the last! Boston Marathon 2016?....who's with me?!


She was planning to run the full marathon but her doctors advised her it was too soon after her November amputation. Rebekah Gregory DiMartino was at Ground Zero on 4/15/13. In November she made the decision to amputate her leg after numerous surgeries and being confined to a wheelchair. Her reflections on running the last 3.2 miles of the Boston Marathon on Monday and crossing the finish line:
I am beyond humbled at the support I have gotten around the world by crossing the finish line at the Boston Marathon yesterday. I do not feel deserving of so much recognition though, especially when there were thousands of amazing people who worked so hard and ran the entire thing. I'm totally in awe of the sheer power that they exuded.

And while that is what I originally set out to do, I was only able to go in at the 23 mile mark per doctors orders earlier in the week. Because even with as hard as I've worked and as much as I have trained, my leg still is not healed enough to endure the beating of the full marathon since I only had my amputation in November. So I had to make the tough decision to compromise and only try to run 3.2 miles. And believe me..it was tough because I was totally bummed about it. So we came up with 3 miles because each one symbolizes a month of learning to walk on my prosthetic, Felicia (who came into my life January 7th.)

And yesterday EVERYTHING was working against me. The rain alone, caused other injuries I have to flare up, and my leg was so swollen and in excruciating pain as a result. About half way through I hit a small pothole with my running blade. It wasn't enough to make me fall, but it was enough to make my knee twist pretty hard and be escorted in a cop car up the road another 1/2 mile. I stopped for adjustments. (To add more socks as my leg shrunk for all my fellow amputees out there.) And overall, I honestly have just had way more successful runs. But that's life right?

And when I put everything into perspective, for me it wasn't about how many miles I could run. It was that I COULD run. 6 months ago, I couldn't even walk. And while I worked as hard as I could to prepare for the entire thing, the most important mile to me was Boylston Street. That moment when I got to run past the place where I nearly lost everything, and not stop until I made it across the finish line.

That is the single reason why I was so overcome with emotion when I fell down to my knees at the end. Because to me, by doing that, I was reclaiming my life. I was showing myself that I am not destroyed. And even though I am not up to 26.2 miles quite yet, what I am....is stronger. And there won't be a day that goes by that I don't try to show that because no matter what...I am also very BLESSED. And yesterday was only the beginning....of many many more miles.

Thanks to each of you for your overwhelming support, and for being a part of my journey.

"This is the day I take my life back." is the caption for this photo:


"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:7


One would think that after all that was lost near the finish line on 4/15/13, that the Richard Family would stay as far away from the Boston Marathon as possible and yet there they were on Monday, creating better memories cheering on all 73 members of the Team MR8 Foundation. Sean Astin eloquently shares his observations:

Boston Marathon 2015. Finish Line.
Denise and Jane Richard are cheering and smiling as each of the 73 members of their Team MR8 come across.

I did what I said and tried to honor young Martin Richard (8yrs old) as I passed the site of the tragedy, by reflecting on everything that happened that day and since. After 4hrs and 49 minutes of cold and rainy 26.2 mile crowd fueled, leg demolishing awesomeness, I had prepared myself to end the run on a note of reverence.

Then there they were, Jane (9yrs old), standing, jumping up and down, with her prosthetic leg, courtesy of that awful day and Martin's mom, Denise with a huge smile of, can you believe it, gratitude of all things. A smile back and a kiss on the hand later, I turned and lost it.

News media and others around, so I bottled it, but something wonderful happens inside when the electricity of greatness visits you. This family, no fear, not a shred of perceptible anxiety, even if they privately had some. They were enjoying themselves. What a lesson. What an incredible demonstration, not just of resilience and faith and goodness, but of grace and wisdom. It's people like this that are the best hope for advancing our too often beleaguered civilization. This is what progress looks like.

My answer was to race back to the starting line in Hopkinton and alone, in the dark and comically stormy night, cycled my way back across the 26.2 mile Marathon route. Even though they had a 2.5 hour head start, I caught race director, Dave McGillivray and his intrepid amphibious running mates and their motor cade, 800 yards from the finish line.

Unreal.

That duathlon was the official kickoff to my Ironman Kona training. October 10th on the big Island of Hawaii, I'm gonna test myself again.

But for now, I'll simply saturate in yesterdays overwhelming and gratifying experience.

Our Team MR8 raised over $780,000. My friends, family, colleagues, supporters, fans and all of you here on Facebook, Sponsored my run and raised $22,000. There were, I believe 450 of you all, and I estimate that the average donation was between $25 and $50, with a few people putting in $1k or more that jacked the number up a little higher.

You all gave the Richard Family and the foundation they established in their late son's honor a financial boost. This money equals just a little more power to make some decisions to help a bunch of people. Good work everyone! I thank you with every fiber of my being.

As for all of you who made personal #run3rd dedications for your loved ones and causes close to you, I read them all and I carried them all in my heart as I ran. As predicted, Team MR8 and your trust bolstered my run so so much. So, thank you for those.

You can still donate to the Team so if you feel like it, here's the link:

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/SeanAstin/bostonmarathon2015

Much Love, Respect & Gratitude Always,

Yours,
Sean



Be blessed and journey well. Here's to all good things!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

When Someone Believes in Us

After contracting paralytic polio, even though my parents were incapable of supporting me beyond the bare bones basic needs until I came out of my leg brace, I was blessed with a physical therapist, Miss Holly and a physiatrist, Dr. Eugene Moskowitz who believed in me. They worked with me mind, body and Spirit to help me recover from paralysis and learn how to walk again. I was traumatized and didn't quite know which end was up but they held the belief for me until I could see for myself that I had the strength, courage and resilience to walk again.

When I was 10 years old, Dr. Moskowitz suggested I go to a swimming camp. My father found Badger Day Camp (which is still in existence today) and there I met Joseph Stetz. He is on the far left - tall, dark and handsome with the most soulful brown eyes you would ever want to see.




He was training to be an Olympian but decided to become a physician instead but as my swimming counselor who had the heart of an Olympian, he invited me to swim the butterfly in the Badger Swimming Olympics. I told him that it wasn't possible. I had polio and had just come out of a leg brace. He told me that only 2 other campers had the courage to compete in the butterfly and that I would be guaranteed a place on the medal stand. I shared with him all of my fears and although he was only 21 years old, he was a wise soul. He coached me one on one teaching me how to jump off of the starting block and do my turns. He told me my time didn't matter. All that mattered was that I went out and swam my hardest and did my best. I had the courage to do something that none of the other campers would do. All I had to do was finish. I proudly took my place on the medal stand.

After being diagnosed with post polio syndrome in December of 2006, a part of me was terrified of what the future held yet another part of me believed I could turn my life around and heal. In October of 2007, I hired a personal trainer after being discharged from outpatient care at Spaulding Rehab Hospital. She initially held the belief for me that I could get stronger and continue to heal and emerge from the beliefs I held in my body from paralytic polio and violence. I remember asking her if she believed I could actually get better and she said:


When I told her, in February of 2008, after achieving my initial goal of getting up off of a low toilet seat that I wanted to run the Boston Marathon, she believed in me and my what would seem like a crazy belief that I could run a marathon despite never having run a day in my life.

After my knee injury in December, I started to doubt my ability to heal and recover. I was ready to hang up my running shoes. The therapists I was working with reinforced the belief that running wasn't good for me; that I'd overdone it and didn't have a wholehearted belief that I could heal without surgery and return to running. They sided with the part of me that was tired and believed I had nothing to prove. I saw the 30 day core challenge on Facebook and realized that I needed to strengthen my core, my quads and my hip flexors and developed a strength training program for myself.

And then Dr. Ryan came into my life. As we stood at my book launch party of Journey Well, I saw the passion in his eyes. I went to his website, Elevate Health Cambridge, and he quoted Thomas Edison:

“The doctor of the future will give no medication, but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, diet and in the cause and prevention of disease. " ~ Thomas A. Edison

He believes that he works with his patients to promote the body's natural ability to heal.

He made recommendations for Theraband Stability Trainers, how to up level my core strength training and began taping my knee, my gastroc muscle which on MRI showed atrophy from polio and IT band. I experienced chiropractic care for the first time in my life. The adjustments to my spine and my hips are allowing me to release the tension and postures I held in response to paralytic polio and violence. He is patient with me as I learn how to let go and allow the adjustments to happen.

It's not only what Dr. Ryan does but how he does it and the messages he sends to me that I have unlimited capabilities even at 61 years old. He inspires me to do my personal best every time I approach a workout be it in the pool, on the roads or my strength training workouts. I challenge myself. I have ditched the philosophy of detach from outcomes and allow whatever is meant to be to be and instead I commit to outcomes. I know it's going to be hard and yet I can allow myself to feel free and easy in my body while working hard. It's not about how many times you get knocked down; it's about how many times you get back up and it's always got to be one more than the number of times you've been knocked down. I can feel my gastroc muscle firing up and that is going to provide a shock absorber for my knee joint.

On April 5 I wrote a blog post, "Why Set Limits: Only Take Yes for an Answer."

I do have something to prove - to myself over and over and over again ... to be the best possible version of me I can be. To set goals not limits. To live with even more than hope - a sense of conviction; to live with more than possibility - having the knowledge that I can and am creating my own reality.... and so I see 26.2 on the horizon for me again. I don't know when but I know that the fire in my belly is lit after standing on the Boston Marathon finish line Wednesday. I'm a runner and I am a marathoner.

And while I have to believe in myself, the journey in this marathon of life is made so much sweeter and easier when we have someone who truly deep down inside believes in us with all of their heart.

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Countdown to Boston: Have Courage and Be Kind

The Mass. Resiliency Center posted this on their Facebook page the other day:

With the jury reaching a verdict this week in the on-going marathon bombing trial and the anniversary coming up, we at the Resiliency Center are aware of the fact that these are significant moments which may provoke a spectrum of emotions, some of which may be challenging. Be patient and kind with yourself as you go through this time.

Please know that we at the Resiliency Center are thinking of you and we are available for support.

There's a wonderful line from the new Cinderella movie. Before Cinderella's mother dies, she says to her, I want to tell you a secret that will see you through all the trials that life can offer, "Have courage and be kind."

Last week I was blessed to attend an event at Old South Church sponsored by the Resiliency Center. There were two workshops being offered: Psychological First Aid and Psychological Strategies for Runners. I attended the workshop on Psychological First Aid with Dr. Kermit Crawford



He talked about the ministry of presence and that you don't have to have a Ph.D. to administer psychological first aid following a traumatic event. He talked about how his grandmother who only had a 3rd grade education, could make you feel better no matter what happened by patting your hand and saying, "It's all going to be all right sugar."

Kindness and being there for each other provides powerful healing among the survivor community.

Until recently, I didn't consider myself a member of the survivor community because we did not sustain any physical injuries that day. Both my husband and I were experiencing an anniversary reaction yet were not aware of it until I attended this event last Wednesday. It was Divine intervention because Tom and I were struggling and were unable to see what was happening until I heard Dr. Crawford speak about invisible injuries and provided education about a human response to an abnormal situation. Now one would think that being a social worker trained in trauma I would have known all of this and I knew it but Tom and I just couldn't figure our way out of what was happening. I told Dr. Crawford he was heaven sent. Tom and I are now practicing kindness and allowing for the full range of emotions to emerge so we can heal.

What a blessing to hear the stories of courage from Lynn, Scott and Dave and to hear Dave McGillivray say that everyone in the room was a hero.


Those of us who lived through that day here in Boston and the events that followed with lock down are all heroes. We survived. We are resilient. We did not let darkness win. We have become family and have shown ourselves and the world that what it takes to be Boston Strong is to have courage and be kind.

Here is an article about Invisible Injuries posted by the Associated Press.

Tomorrow we gather for One Boston Day to honor, to commemorate and to continue to move forward in healing and wellness.



Together we are Boston Stronger.

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Countdown to Boston: ONE WEEK FROM TODAY

My Facebook news feed is filled with the frenzy of pre-marathon activity. Posts of what people will be wearing:


bib numbers so we can track friends and family; anticipated split times and those last minute fundraising efforts.

I sit here looking at the sun streaked no longer snow covered little field across the street from my office window. The trees are poised and pregnant ready to burst forth with the green of Spring. My eyes do drift occasionally to the still unraked dead leaves from the fall and my heart and my thoughts go to how two years ago I was filled with such excitement for Boston Marathon weekend. After my nephew's suicide in 2011, I couldn't celebrate much of anything least of all my 2009 Boston Marathon run but in 2013, I was ready to reunite with my Race for Rehab teammates at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel.

Here's the link to my blog post from two years ago today: Boston Marathon Weekend.

While the events of 4/15/13 wreaked havoc and temporary destruction and devastation, and we all find ourselves in this space of a new normal, nothing, nothing can destroy the sense of anticipation and joy that this time of year brings. Perhaps the events of 4/15/13 magnify our anticipation and appreciation for this time of year and our sacred Boston Marathon.



ONE WEEK FROM TODAY the Red Sox play the Baltimore Orioles. Runners gather in the Athlete's Village in Hopkinton. Spectators line the streets from Hopkinton to the Finish Line. We pack a cooler and head to Beacon Street just before mile 23. There will be reminders of what happened as we see Team MR8 singlets and Team 4/15/13 Strong survivor shirts run by. We will never forget. We will always remember with love; and we will always feel grateful for our new family, that we are alive and well to celebrate another Boston Marathon...ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Countdown to Boston: It's simple - be good to each other

I shared the compelling story of Bill McCabe and the Ironwill Challenge in January. This weekend, NECN featured an interview with Bill and Marc:



And McCabe says he's learned important life lessons from helping his friend.

"People helping people - some people make it complicated, but it's not, its very simple," he said. "If people were good to each other, this stuff wouldn't happen, and it's so simple to be good to each other."

You can donate to Bill's 2620 Miles for Marc on his GoFundMe page.

Today closing arguments are being held at the Federal Courthouse for the trial of the man accused of the Boston Marathon bombing and then the jury goes into deliberations.

This evening, I am attending the launch of the Arredondo Family Foundation which I will feature in Friday's blog.

There is so much goodness and kindness that has been borne out of the destructive acts of two men. People who might not have otherwise met are now closer than family. As individuals and as a community we have all learned the meaning of Boston Strong. People are running Boston with more passion and to raise money for causes near and dear to their heart. Here are a few of the people I highlighted in my Fundraising Friday feature:

Marc Fucarile also has a RE'MARC'ABLE Marathon Team running to raise money for his ongoing medical care. Grab a cup of tea and read all about these amazing individuals running either the BAA 5K or the full marathon, and be sure to donate to the Team via their Marc Strong page.

Brittney Castine decided to take on the Boston Marathon and run as part of Dana Farber's Marathon Challenge Team 2015 in honor of her beloved grandfather. You can help her reach her fundraising goal by donating to her fundraising page.

Brian Simons (aka Brian Siborg on Facebook) is getting closer to his $5,000 goal for a cause near and dear to my heart, Spaulding Rehab Hospital. He is a physical therapist at Spaulding and knows first hand the challenges that patients face every day. In their honor, he is raising funds for Spaulding and you can support him by donating to his run via this link.


Kaitlyn Greeley is slowly climbing her way to the top of her fundraising goal as she counts down the days to Boston but needs your help hitting goal before she toes the line in Hopkinton. She is running for the Liver Foundation. As a physician assistant in training, she knows first hand the devastating effects of liver disease and every dollar she raises will fund needed research, patient education and treatment.

Lindsay Dahlben's sister is in the marathon of her life as she undergoes treatment for stage IV stomach cancer. Lindsay is running for the non profit Debbie's Dream Foundation which has provided her sister living in Israel with much needed support while she undergoes treatment. Debbie's Dream Foundation is dedicated to raising awareness about stomach cancer, funding research, and providing support internationally to patients and their families. Lindsay will carry her sister with her in her heart from Hopkinton to Boston. Let's support her in reaching her goal by donating to her fundraising page.

Nohely Chavira-Williams is running for Boston Strong Survivors. She dreamed of one day running the Boston Marathon and her one day is happening in two weeks. You can read about how this all came about for her in her Fundraising Friday Feature. All the money she raises will be used to support Boston Strong Survivors and you can donate to her Fundraising Page.

On 4/15/13, for a brief moment, there was a cloud of darkness that hung over our beautiful city. And now as we countdown to Boston 2015, that cloud has dissipated and only light and love remain. As my friend Bill McCabe said, it's simple and we have found ways to be good to each other, to love and support each other, to run stronger than ever to show the world what we are all about.

It's 1 week, 6 days, 21 hours, 50 minutes and 50 seconds and counting until we run as one!



Journey well!


My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Why set limits? Only take yes for an answer!

Last year at the L Street Pre-Marathon meeting, I was blessed to meet Dave McGillivray. I brought my copy of The Last Pick for him to sign and he wrote, "Set goals not limits." At the time, I didn't know that Dave had a thing about autographs but he was gracious to sign my book for me. Dave is one of the people I feature who are Boston Stronger in Journey Well.

The first time I met Dave McGillivray was at the mobility-impaired start of the 2009 Boston Marathon. He told us that he would be giving us an oral command - Runners take your mark, get set, go. He put his hand down much as they do to signal the start of a lap at a car race. I was star struck to be standing next to the race director for the Boston Marathon and having him give us the start of our 2009 Boston Marathon run. It didn't matter that there was an entire race to orchestrate and command. He was totally focused and present in that moment. We were all that mattered to him.

And that's who Dave McGillivray is...I have seen him in passing in his role as race director and admire his ability to put on his game face and get the job done. The 2013 BAA 10K was a daunting event to put on I'm sure, yet he made sure that Boston moved forward as a running community.

Dave spoke at the L Street Running Club pre-Marathon meeting. He shared with us his health challenge of the last year when he was diagnosed with severe blockages in his heart. "I got myself into this mess," were his thoughts after his cardiac catheterization, "and I'm gonna get myself out." He explained the difference between being fit and being healthy. He shared with us the view of last year's events through his eyes but he wouldn't dwell there. He looked ahead to the weekend and Marathon Monday. "This is our race," he told our Club. He stood on the side after his talk. I went over to him and quietly stood next to him for a few moments until there was a lull between speakers. I had a copy of his book "The Last Pick" and asked him if he would sign it. I told him I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon as a mobility impaired runner.

"You did?" he said. "Good for you." He signed my book, "Set goals, not limits."


In Friday's KT taping session with Dr. Ryan of Elevate Health Cambridge, I told him that I was so happy to be working my way back to a 5K and I would cap off my distance at 5 miles for the Ogunquit Beach Lobster Dash.

Without missing a beat, as Dr. Ryan did Graston Technique on my feet to help move me out of old patterns and allow my body to find its way to its natural state of wellness and goodness he said, "Why set limits?"

We are each reading "You Are The Placebo" by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

It seems that I need to keep reminding myself over and over and over again about my body's tremendous capacity for healing. I shared with Dr. Ryan that on MRI, the polio virus took out the medial gastroc muscle on my left calf and that I was working on visualizing a new one. "If I could dissolve a breast tumor, why can't I grow a new gastroc right?" I shared the story of when in April of 2007, I had an abnormal mammogram and everyone told me what a wonderful oncology team was available to me at MGH Cancer Care Center. I was dealing with the diagnosis of post polio syndrome at the time and no way in hell was I going to throw breast cancer into the mix. So I spent the week before I had to return for my mammogram visualizing my left breast as having only healthy tissue and sending love and healing to my left breast. There is a strong family history of breast cancer and there was no way I was going to be next in line. When I went back, they took images every which way they could and it was gone.

Dr. Ryan suggested that we tape my gastroc because the KT tape can be used to decrease inflammation (and by the way the swelling is gone from my left knee using icing before and after exercise and with the taping for runs), to brace a joint and also to activate and stimulate the muscle. I title this picture, Mary Mary quite contrary how does your gastroc grow?



Contrary because I have "gone against" much of the advice I received from the medical community as a polio survivor which involved setting limits with the caveat, "If you use it, you will lose it."

As Dr. Ryan worked on my feet I said, "Wow." He asked me if the pressure was too much and I said, "Oh no. I just went to that place within me that ran the Boston Marathon." I told him there is nothing in the world like training for and running a marathon. When I thought about it I felt exhilarated and then had a moment of "I can't run another marathon." I realized that I was remembering running a marathon in my body as it was then not the body I am today and certainly not the body that keeps changing, evolving, getting stronger and healing all that went before; the body that has infinite possibilities.

Who would have ever thought I could get up off of the toilet seat without holding on? Oh and that comment I made in the blog about if it doesn't happen on a particular day .... forget that ... why set limits? I keep practicing and I only take yes for an answer using Henry Ford's quote as my guide:


Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

Countdown to Boston: Resilience, Joy and Determination!

Remember the theme from "Cheers"? Where everybody knows your name.... Well today out on Beacon Street on part of the Boston Marathon course nobody knew anybody's name - well except for that special moment when I saw my friend Jess Lanzoni out on Beacon Street - yet everyone knew each other. Wearing my 2009 Boston Marathon Jacket and that knowing smile of a marathoner, I got in my 2.75 miles (more about my run in another post) among those either getting in their last long run for Boston or tapering to the big day two weeks from Monday.

People in the greater Boston area awoke to thunder, lightning and pouring rain. Hafsa Lewis Labreche, running for the Brittany Fund for Trauma and Recovery had posted on Facebook yesterday for us to please pray for not pouring down rain for the entire time of her 20 mile run. I thought Mother Nature was very amusing after the winter we had to put on this display early this morning as marathoners are preparing for Marathon Monday but I remembered that everyone had joined in prayer for Hafsa's run. I heard the thunder fade into the distance and the rain end. I smiled.

Runners were running the course in both directions. After I had reached my halfway point, I turned around and was greeted by throngs of runners training for this year's Boston Marathon. We'd smile, high five and I'd see that eye of the tiger in everyone who passed me. No words were exchanged but we knew...we carried in our hearts the magic that is the Boston Marathon. True to this year's slogan, There's only one Boston.



Several runners from Team MR8 passed me. I applauded and cheered them on. No words were needed. We all knew. We exchanged glances, and then smiles and high fives. It's what Martin Richard would have wanted; no more hurting people peace and being united for the good of all.



The wind kicked up and I was running against the wind and uphill but there was an energy that carried me through to the end of my run. Boston's resilience was evident once more as the sun was shining and despite the wind, everyone seemed to know Spring is returning to Boston. We weathered another Boston winter and came out victorious just as we weather the wake of the events of 4/15/13 and continue to run the race set before us with endurance.

After my run I came home, showered and got ready to meet Hafsa and Brittany at the base of Heartbreak Hill.

Their smiles were radiant! Hafsa had done her longest run yet with 3 more miles to go to put her final long run in the books and Brittany ran with her on the hills for FOUR miles! Talk about strength and resilience. Although I had not met Hafsa in person and only met Brittany once at her fundraiser, we hugged each other with the love that family has for one another with a familiarity and a knowing sharing the joy of feeling Spring returning to Boston. We talked about the power of prayer and how on Marathon Monday the energy of the crowd along with all of those praying for her journey will be like the tailwind that was at her back today carrying her through the Newton Hills

While Boston now has a new normal as we countdown to Boston runners' resilience, joy and determination was palpable along the Boston Marathon course. Out of the cloud of destruction that happened on 4/15/13, the sun is shining and runners, survivors and their families transform the darkness into goodness and light.

It is:
2 weeks
15 days
379 hours
22757 minutes
1365428 seconds

and counting ... until Boston runs as one again.

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.

"Enjoy your swim!" "Whether you think you can or think you can't - you're right!"

Before going to the Evelyn Kirrane Aquatics Center for cross training yesterday, I had my mind set on swimming laps.



The last time I swam laps was when I was at Badger Day Camp when I was 9 and 10 years old. It was an Olympic size pool that trained many Olympian swimmers. We swam width laps.



To be honest, I wasn't sure what would happen. I'd been in Aquatics Therapy at Spaulding since August of 2013. While we did cardio circuits in the pool and Aqua Jogging, there was no continuous full body stroke swimming. I knew I could run a marathon so why not swim laps right?

As I checked in, the young lady behind the desk smiled warmly and said, "Enjoy your swim."

After I took the pre-swim shower, I was looking for my swim cap in my bag. I panicked. It wasn't there and I know they have strict rules about anyone with shoulder length hair having to wear a swim cap. Where was it? I thought perhaps I left it on the bench after my swim on Tuesday. I went to lost and found. It remained lost. The open swim ended at 3pm so I knew I didn't have enough time to get dressed and go to CVS to replace it. As my mind momentarily went to oh well I'll take the day off, I felt this feeling swell inside of me that I have to swim today.

As good fortune would have it, my recent mantra of the Universe and I together meet my needs with ease bore truth. They sold swim caps at the pool. Whew that was a close one.

To ensure that I would not back out of my commitment to do laps, the lesson pool was in use by children with physical challenges. I was so moved as I walked by a woman holding a little boy in the water as the sun streamed into the room, "Doesn't this feel wonderful? Feel the sun on your face." I counted my blessings and walked over to the lap pool.

I knew that it was heated but not to the temperature that I was used to at Spaulding or even the lesson pool. But I was determined to get in there and swim laps.

Now here is where the story really gets good and I am feeling a rant coming on which is very unusual for me.

One of the "symptoms" of "post polio syndrome" is cold intolerance. I shivered and shook and couldn't regulate my body temperature. In "Journey Well" I share how even without the temperature changing in the treatment room and it being set at a comfortable temperature at Sollievo Massage and Bodywork, I would experience the room as freezing cold at times and couldn't maintain my body temperature. This dramatically shifted over time.

In last week's treatment, during the Zero Balancing portion of my treatment, I felt my Spirit Helper/Guardian Angel's presence. She has been with me at least since I was 5 and contracted paralytic polio. I had a very Cinderella like moment as she said, "I have a secret to tell you. You are not living with the late effects of paralytic polio."

She is right! I am reminded of Henry Ford's quote:



Several months ago, Joseph said to me, "I don't want to push or pull you to a place you're not ready to go yet but I see you without your story." And then last week commented, "I can feel your body is healed. Your mind and your heart just need to catch up."

I was trying to find the length of the Spaulding Aquatics Therapy pool to compare it to the laps I swam yesterday, and came across this article, "Exploring benefits of aquatics therapy for poliomyelitis patients."

The exact cause of post-polio syndrome is unknown. However, scientists suspect that years of strain on these motor units cause them to be unable to meet the demands of their new terminal axon sprouts, leading to eventual malfunction and permanent weakness. Approximately 440,000 polio survivors in the U.S. are at risk for developing the syndrome.

The article goes on to be filled with cautionary tales about not overdoing it.

I tend to go the other way on the doing it spectrum and most recently am becoming exquisitely tuned into taking myself to the edge and just a bit farther to avoid injury but studies have shown over and over and over again that what you tell your mind, what you believe, will happen in your body. I was blessed to move to the Spaulding Hospital downtown from the Framingham Clinic where my therapist, Allison Lamarre Poole told me she would not treat me like a polio survivor and held the belief for me that I would and could get stronger. I would be very curious to explore what would happen if all polio survivors received the message that they have the capacity to heal from the original polio virus.

Interestingly enough, the physiatrist who treated me after contracting paralytic polio in 1959, Dr. Eugene Moskowitz created quite a stir in the post polio community with his op ed piece in the New York Times as I wrote about in "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

The Westchester Post-Polio Group is grateful to Dr. Eugene Moskowitz (Letters to the Editor, March 3) for providing the public with a concrete demonstration of the negative and patronizing attitude many of us have encountered from physicians. If Dr. Moskowitz finds ''no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cords,'' we suggest that he read ''Proceedings From the First Annual Symposium on the Late Effects of Poliomyelitis,'' in which highly respected members of his own profession advance excellent medical arguments and research reports in support of exactly that theory.

Here is what my beloved Dr. Moskowitz wrote:

Caution and Hope On Polio 'Signs'
Published: March 3, 1985

I read with interest the article entitled ''A Group for Polio Survivors Who Have New Symptoms'' (Feb. 10).

Having supervised the rehabilitation of poliomyelitis patients at Grasslands Hospital during the epidemics of the 50's and 60's, probably including the ''then'' infants mentioned in the article, I would like to add a word of caution and even hope as an afterthought.

Firstly, there is no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cord. After 30 years, one must accept some loss of endurance, increased fatigue and even some discomfort induced by other unrelated medical problems. This is true in the athlete with repeated injuries, in the obese person with back problems and even in the jogger with foot ailments.

Any individual with paralytic disability in an extremity will experience the normal process of ''wear and tear'' except that it may be more difficult to adjust to it. Just as one learned to compensate for the initial impairment so must one adjust to the later, more subtle changes rather than develop an emotional hangup of being a ''polio victim.''

EUGENE MOSKOWITZ, M.D. Mount Vernon

HOPE - that's right HOPE!

And remembering that message, I psyched myself up to do laps. I felt amazing gliding through the water feeling my core and remembering to use my hip flexors, feeling the energy all along my legs rather than overuse my knee joints. I paused and stretched and kept an eye on the lesson pool for when I could return to my "safe" exercises but the Universe would have none of that (and in truth neither would I). Using a combination of breast stroke, freestyle and backstroke, I did laps for 30 minutes and completed approximately 10 laps.

Only then did I return to the lesson pool with its warm waters that felt wonderful. I did squats, used the noodle for quad strengthening and push ups and did a lot of stretching after my 5th consecutive workout.

I felt a swimmer's high and really proud of myself for going out there and doing something I had not done since I was 9 and 10 years old in a pool that reminded me of my Badger Swim Camp Days. I got a great cardio and all around full body workout.

As I was leaving, an older woman was at the front desk who I knew from back in the day when our kids went to school together asked, "Did you enjoy your swim?"

I'm sure she could see from the look on my face that the answer was an unequivocal yes!

Journey well!

My latest book, "Journey Well" is now available on Amazon along with all of my inspirational books. 50% of book proceeds are donated to the Massachusetts Resiliency Center, a safe, welcoming space for survivors of the Boston Marathon bombing to heal and stay in touch with one another; a virtual hub for a widely dispersed community whose lives have been impacted by the tragic events of April 15th and the events that followed.

When terror struck the world's oldest and most beloved marathon on April 15, 2013, it was a defining moment in Mary McManus’ life and the lives of all those in Boston and around the world. It was her wake up call to return to the sport and community that have been medicine and a lifeline for her throughout her marathon of healing the late effects of paralytic polio and experiencing 9 years of domestic violence as a child and adolescent. Mary captures the essence of Boston Strong through her experience of the 2014 Boston Marathon and as she profiles the people who are Boston Stronger. Through her blog posts, poems and journal entries woven together with excerpts from her memoir, “Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility,” you will experience, through one woman’s journey of transformation and healing, that no matter what happens to us, we can all learn to journey well.