While I was waiting for my copy to arrive, Dr. Ryan sent me an email with the image for Changing Your Body by Thoughts Alone. I have it up on my fridge:
Dr. Ryan helped me to get back on the road again and asked me why are you settling limits? I felt the stirrings within me, despite all appearances to the contrary, that I needed to go the distance again.
What were the chances that I'd meet someone who believed as I believed in the power we all have within us to "go down the rabbit hole" and bring into physical reality what is our heart's desire as we align with the Force within us. Obviously 100% because it happened.
When I trained for the 2009 Boston Marathon I experienced phantom pains from polio and from reconstructive leg surgery on my left leg. I would meditate and visualize and work through them as best I could. It was an incredibly rough road but one that ended with crossing the finish line on April 20,2009. I believed with every fiber of my being that I was going to run and finish the Boston Marathon. And so it was....
After my nephew's suicide in 2011, I lost a lot of traction on my healing journey and went from a place of creation to a place of reaction. But it was all a part of the journey and I wouldn't or couldn't trade any of it for the world. I learned so much along the way.
This morning when I got out of bed, I experienced nerve pain in my left foot. My first response was, "Hmmm now that's interesting." I could feel polio memories surface. After rolling out the foot with a ball and doing self massage I decided to do an exercise that Dr. Joe shares that stroke survivors who had a paralyzed arm used.
I sat down on the floor with my legs stretched out before me. I separated the toes on my right foot and told my left foot to observe what it was doing. I'd focus on the straightness of my big toe on my right foot and separate the toes and then mimic the movements with my left foot. Of course it was very limited but no matter. I used this same technique to grow a new gastroc muscle. I started out imagining being able to go up and down on my left toes doing a gastroc strengthening exercise. Eventually, I was able to go up and down and my gastroc muscle has grown back despite what it showed on MRI last year and being told it is impossible to grow a new muscle. Well I'm here to tell you - everything is possible.
After a few minutes of talking to my left foot and icing and rolling it out again, we headed out for our 11 mile run in glorious sunshine. What a blessing for December 5th!
At one point during the run I felt a sharp nerve pain go through my foot. "Oh my God this is so exciting," I thought to myself. "My nerves are reconnecting to my muscles!"
I focused on the wave instead of the particle as Dr. Joe talks about; rather than thinking oh my goodness we only have 3 weeks more of training and then do taper and I've got a neuroma or plantar fascitis....I said to myself everything is fine. I am in the flow and I know that I AM going the distance of 13.1 miles on January 17th.
I enjoyed the beautiful sun sparkling on the Reservoir. I enjoyed my unplugged time of wonderful conversation with my bestie Tom and imagining how it was going to feel in Bermuda.
All of a sudden I realized the pain was gone! I was sore and my muscles were tired by the end of the run but you'd never know that I had an MRI that showed bone spurs, degenerative changes from osteoarthritis, a lipoma, scar tissue and surgical changes, an atrophied gastroc muscle, and a few other pathological findings in my left knee. You'd certainly not know that several years ago I experienced cervical spine pain with it radiating down my arm and had to go for injections every six months. You would never know that I am a survivor of paralytic polio and 9 years of domestic childhood violence, two family suicides and 9 years ago was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair having been diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease.
You know why? Because I AM the placebo and was blessed to find my way to healers to partner with me to unleash the body's natural capacity to heal and to find my way to teachers and healers to turbocharge my healing process.
Today I ran 11 miles - more miles than I have run since 2009!
Today was a gift and it always feels like Christmas morning when I can get up and go on a long run especially in perfect running conditions.
After today's run I can say with absolute certainty, I am ready for Bermuda!
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