Today marked the beginning of building miles for the Bermuda Half Marathon in January.
Having a destination race of 13.1 miles on the calendar makes a huge difference in my mindset about running. I've already printed out the race course map:
Every night before our meditation, Team McManus reviews the course map with the handy reference Bermuda map we received at the Finish at the 50 Expo.
During today's training run, the longest run since my injury in December, I felt myself going the distance. I felt joy in running and excitement about building endurance.
A chance meet up with one of our dear friends who is part of our running family, Margo Feeney, ran with us for part of our run. Her presence was a gift and certainly made the miles fly by. I usually stop at one mile on training runs and take a water break but not today. We were so busy chatting, enjoying the beautiful summer's day and running that I didn't take a break until mile 2. I ran up each of the rolling hills around Jamaica Pond and was so grateful for the shaded parts of the run. It was 88 degrees as we ran.
Tom and I reminisced about our training runs around Jamaica Pond when we trained for the 2009 Boston Marathon. Perhaps one of my favorite memories was when we lost each other a-round Jamaica Pond, the operative word being around because how can you really lose someone when you are running around a Pond? When you are Team McManus it's easy - From "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility:"
And who could EVER forget us losing each other around - emphasize the word a-round Jamaica Pond. Tom had stopped at the car to fill up the water bottles and get some snacks. He had his iPod on really loudly. I was in the zone and ran by him. I saw him looking for me in the opposite direction and yelled to him that I was over here. I felt so great and the weather was wonderful that I did not want to interrupt my rhythm. Finally, my daughter who had been going at her own pace came running up to me - where were you she asked? (well duh, we're going around in a circle) Dad is worried sick about you. He thought that since you had to go to the bathroom (and the bathrooms were not open yet) that you went off the trail and went to pee in the woods). We finally all caught up with one another and laughed so hard.
Running around Jamaica Pond inspired this poem which is included in the soon to be released, "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life": Courage - January 5, 2009
The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.
A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements, as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.
The branches now bejeweled with ice bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow
hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.
A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.
There are rolling hills, shade and sun; a perfect place to train in summer.
I can feel the heal and feel the ease now as I run. I love training this body and am so excited for the physical and emotional transformation that happens with every run.
I'm building confidence, strength and happiness feeling the joy in the journey.
It's amazing what happens when we focus our energy, intention and attention on a goal. All obstacles melt away. The happiness and joy I feel on this journey sends a healing message to my cells to do whatever is necessary for me to go the distance.
4.5 miles in the books! We are up to a 2'20" plank, 50 crunches and 2 sets of 30 clams before we go on a run. Tomorrow we strength train. Monday is cross training in the pool for me. Tuesday strength training again on land and Wednesday the core and hip flexor work before an early morning 5K run to work on speed.
Next week - 5 miles -- As Helen Keller said:
It all feels so right and good to me! Our time today was 1:11:11 - a sure sign from the Universe that I am in sync and in step being exactly where I am meant to be open to the awe and mystery and magic of this wonderful life.
Cheers! To life! Feel the heal!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
I just did a #tbt on Facebook to a blog post I wrote a year ago about the Marathon Sports 5 Miler. It's absolutely amazing to see my transformation from a year ago. I know in every fiber of my being that Team McManus will return to the Marathon Sports 5 Miler and what a triumphant run that will be for us.
I wasn't planning on writing any more books. I was running but setting the limit of one more Tufts 10K and then do 5K's. I had all of these limiting beliefs which of course at the time I did not realize were limiting beliefs.
There was this quote I used from Woody Hayes in the post about success - it's what you do with what you've got.
And I would have to edit Woody Hayes' quote: Success is having the courage to dream beyond appearances and "what you've got" and create something new!
Shortly after my knee injury in December, I was blessed to meet Ryan J. Means, DC who likes to be called Dr. Ryan. When I thought of seeing a chiropractor, I thought of having my back cracked. As we stood and talked at the book release for "Journey Well", Dr. Ryan's passion and enthusiasm for his work was infectious. He explained to me that chiropractic care is for the whole body and yes he could help me with healing my knee injury.
But first I would walk the path of Western medicine albeit very briefly.
The Universe hit me with a 2 x 4 when I went to see a physical therapist.
I landed on my feet literally and metaphorically in Dr. Ryan's office. Adjustments on my spine and kinesiotaping were just what I needed to get me back on the roads. My plan to return to the roads in mid-April moved to mid-March. Ryan, along with a Facebook friend suggested I read Dr. Joe Dispenza's "You Are the Placebo."
I realized that as long as I stayed at Spaulding Rehab, my focus was on rehab and continuing to identify with my diagnosis. God bless the Aquatics Therapist but because she did not like running and had sustained an injury while running, she was sending me the energetic and verbal messages that I should not run again.
I shifted my workouts to our Town pool and then was blessed to find my way to WaveHealth's pool where I create my own cross training plan building on the best that Spaulding's Aquatics Therapy had to offer.
Things that I usually struggle with in the creative process just flowed. The cover was a joy to create and once I got still I was able to hear the message and purpose of publishing "Feel the Heal."
Introduction
In December of 2006, my mind, body and soul were crying out for healing. I was diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as Western medicine defines it. It was my wake up call to find a path for healing. In February of 2007, I discovered the healing power of writing poetry. I foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run while using a cane, a leg brace and at times a wheelchair for mobility with the first poem that I wrote called, "Running the Race."
I call my pen my divining rod for healing. This anthology is a collection of poems old and new that inspire my healing mind, body and Spirit from childhood paralytic polio and sexual, physical and emotional abuse from the time I was 8 years old until my dad’s suicide when I was 17 years old.
I have learned that when we bypass our analytical minds and are able to see beyond appearances, magic and miracles happen. I’ve been blessed to find my way to people who believe in me and who provide me with the unconditional love and support that stimulates the body to heal.
My hope and intention is that as you read these poems, you too will feel the heal, experience the possibility and be inspired to open your heart to a world beyond what we see and know.
With my love
Mary McManus
Putting in page numbers has always been a challenge in the past but somehow, the numbers seemed to magically appear as they need to be. I know that the Universe is speeding along the process of bringing "Feel the Heal" into the world.
It's time for final editing and soon I will present in its final form, "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life."
I am so blessed to be able to share life and run with my husband Tom. We've been together for almost 40 years now. He was a runner before we had twins and then started running with me to train for the 2009 Boston Marathon. While I've had to take time off from running here and there, Tom has been keeping his pace and staying fit and healthy. He's getting faster as he is getting older and he is the perfect pacing partner for me to help take my running to the next level with speed and endurance.
I was doing my Wednesday runs alone. Then we needed to train for an evening race so I met him after work and we'd do our training run in the evening. But it's not my best time of day to work out as is true for many people.
We figured out what time we would need to get up and have time for meditation, a core work out and then a run leaving time for Tom to get ready for work. We are so blessed that he works at Boston College, a short 10 minute commute by car from where we live!
I woke up before my alarm and did a meditation until it was time to "get up" and meditate. We had a peaceful 15 minute meditation before doing our plank (and I sneaked in an extra 5 seconds since Tom didn't have his glasses on ... something he would pay me back for later .. said with a wink and a smile), 45 crunches and 2 sets of 30 clams.
I fueled with a half a banana and a piece of toast, set my Nike+ and out the door we went.
It was a gorgeous morning although it was almost 80 degrees. There was a lot of cloud cover but there were moments of seeing the sun glistening off of the Route 9 Reservoir.
There is a shift in my body since I know I am training for the Bermuda Half Marathon in January. I have fully embodied and embraced being a runner knowing that these shorter runs are used for speed.
There were two women who passed us and were running at a pretty fast pace. I got my mind in gear to overtake them. It felt amazing to push the envelope and let my mind and body work in harmony to take me where I wanted to go. I felt a fierceness in my body and Being. I felt invincible living in that moment running happy and running free.
I usually stop at 1 mile and take a water break but I wanted to finish our first lap maintaining momentum. I took another sprint as we neared the tree marking the end of our first lap.
The second lap felt better than the first and we found our pace and our stride together. We sent out intentions of peace, harmony, love and courage to the world.
A brief pause for water after the second lap.
I am healing the connections to my thermostat that can overheat or in cold weather leave me shivering cold. I dumped water on my head to cool everything down and it was time for our huge hill heading back on our run.
Tom asked me what we eat for breakfast...I said well I had toast and a banana and now I am eating a blueberry hill ... We laughed.
I ran up the hill and actually had a huge negative split for that last mile.
Remember I told you that I pushed Tom into an extra 5 seconds for our plank. Well I suggested we stop at the light at the top of the hill but since it was still red, Tom pushed me to cross over Route 9 despite my feeling that I needed to stop.
I kept pace with him and it was a moment filled with joy and magic!
See I have had this amazing shift in my mind from trying to keep up with him or asking him to slow down to my pace to seeing myself as a 12 minute/mile runner. I do checks with myself to make sure that my beliefs and my actions are working together. The founder of L Street Running Club and a dear friend of ours has the motto of maintain...maintain...maintain but my motto is retrain...retrain...retrain as I shift the image of myself from a survivor of paralytic polio and violence to a woman transformed "setting goals not limits," to quote Dave McGillvray, race director of the Boston Marathon and author of The Last Pick. My average pace for the run was 15:13 which was my pace on race day. It's all happening!
Today, I felt the magic of a morning run that set the tone for a beautiful day of rest, relaxation and creativity after racing on Friday and having 4 days of training for the Bermuda Half Marathon in the books. How blessed and grateful I feel to share this journey with Tom.
Cheers! To life! Love yourself well!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.
I am writing "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," and "Going the Distance," chronicling my journey on the road to the Bermuda Half and the Newport Marathon 2016.
As I am putting together poems for my "Feel the Heal:An Anthology of Poems Old and New," it is amazing to see how my heart and soul's desire for health and wholeness spoke through the divining rod of my pen despite outward appearances of being in a leg brace, using a wheelchair at times for mobility and being told that I was going to experience a decline in functioning. I could have believed what they told me. I could have believed that my body was destined for muscle atrophy and weakness; that I needed to adapt my Cape house or move into a Ranch. I could have gone for the sleep apnea study and gotten a C-pap machine to use at night to keep my body oxygenated. I did agree to a toe up leg brace and using a wheelchair initially to figure out what I needed to do to get myself out of the predicament I had gotten myself into (said with a lot of love and compassion). They were right about me needing to quit my job only I reframed it from quitting my job to try to stabilize symptoms where they were to quitting my job to heal my life.
I came across the last poem in "Set Sail for a New World: Healing a Life Through the Gift of Poetry"
and will include it in "Feel the Heal":
Dare to Dream
Step out of all the muck and mire
Dare to set my soul on fire.
Dare to live and feel my dream
Forget what is or what may seem.
Pull the impossible out of thin air
Of God's inheritance I claim my share.
To dare to shout and spread the word
To dare to share what I have heard.
To live in Love and Faith and Trust
To love myself – that is a must.
Dare to live a passionate life
To easily maneuver through any strife.
To hold my dream close to my heart
And live with God one from the start.
Not slave and master but equals be
To live a life in harmony.
To dare to dream a life of peace
And know that wars can all now cease.
Disease no more but health now reigns
And Love erases all life's pains.
Living in love and loving in life is my heart's one desire
Dare to dream and live this dream to snuff out the funeral pyre.
During this morning's meditation, as I was reflecting on this incredible voyage of healing, I felt a wellspring of joy leap from my soul and bathe all the cells of my body. I felt happiness and gratitude for situations that were challenging seeing them with only positive outcomes. I felt the healing happening throughout my body and felt renewed confidence in my body and heart's ability to recover with more ease despite whatever challenges I choose to take on or life presents to me.
I allowed myself to enter that delicious void where mystery and magic and mysticism happen and all stress melts away. The Love of the Divine takes over and I feel connected to the Source of my Life the Source of All Life.
How amazing that back in 2008, I had a vision and put out this powerful intention for myself and the world.
I continue to manifest healing in my life and my fervent prayer is that my healing brings a vibration of love and harmony to the world; to all those in need of healing and a sense of celebration and joy with those who are fellow light travelers.
So throw off the bowlines and leave safe harbor. Dare to dream and feel that wellspring of joy bathe you with light and love. Set sail for a new world of infinite possibilities and adventure.
You will be so glad you did!
Cheers! To Life! Love yourself well!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.
Be on the lookout for "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," available soon on Amazon
I am writing "Going the Distance," chronicling this miraculous phase of my healing journey on the road to the Bermuda Half and the Newport Marathon 2016.
During this morning's meditation, I was reflecting on momentum and as if the Universe echoed my thoughts, I found this quote after I finished my meditation and was looking for something to post on Facebook for Monday Motivation:
There are many wonderful quotes about momentum:
Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal momentum of the human soul and mind.Bryant H. McGill
When you're that successful, things have a momentum, and at a certain point you can't really tell whether you have created the momentum or it's creating you.
Annie Lennox
And one more in honor of our New England winter weather:
I took one rest day after last Friday's race and yesterday I was back at strength training on land. I maintained my reps and weights and plan to do so for this recovery week but I want to keep the momentum going from how I felt during Finish at the 50 and the anticipation of running the Bermuda Half Marathon in January.
While I had motivation and excitement for running the 2016 Newport Marathon next October, having this interim goal has lit a fire in my belly and motivates me to take my training to a whole new level.
After doing a plank that I now hold for 2'15" and 45 crunches, I had my nutritious breakfast and headed to the pool at WaveHealth.
During my meditation, I imagined what I needed for the day. A parking space and the lap lane free for me to do my workout. There was not one but two parking spaces on Northern Avenue near the Seaport. While there was a family on vacation playing in the pool, the lap lane was free. I got in my zone and did my workout.
It's interesting to observe what my default thinking used to be. Don't overdo it. You might injure yourself. You just ran a race, you need recovery time.
But now my thinking is, come on girl - you've got this! You are training for the Bermuda Half Marathon. I was even talking to myself out loud after I did several laps of freestyle getting my heart rate up and someone walked in at that moment. I just smiled!
I can feel the healing and momentum happening within me mind, body and Spirit. Fears melt away. The waters heal and fortify me and are a perfect complement to marathon training.
I was astounded although I really shouldn't be of how easy and affordable it was to book the flights and hotel.
I called to make our reservation and Lesiline remembered us! She said that they even have a discounted rate for those participating in Marathon Weekend!
Crossing the finish line of the Bermuda Half Marathon - a race I imagined running since 2010 although it was going to be the full marathon in 2013 but hey I am not going to quibble with the Universe - is my sweet prize. I focus on healing and building strength and endurance every day between now and January 17th when Team McManus toes the starting line of the 2016 Bermuda Half Marathon.
I have a lot of work to do between now and then and feel absolute joy in the journey. I am keeping this momentum of healing going strong with my greater goal of the Bermuda Half Marathon.
How do you keep your momentum going?
Cheers! To life! Love yourself well!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.
I am writing "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," and "Going the Distance," chronicling my journey on the road to the Newport Marathon 2016.
After manifesting a day better than imagined at the Finish at the 50, we decided to revisit Team McManus' race calendar.
Spectacle Island was a spectacular day last year. It was my first trail race ever. I received an email about this year's race and put out the word to my dear friend and chiropractor, Ryan Means to see if he'd like to join Team McManus for the race. His reply on Facebook was, "Mary This look so awesome! And registration includes transport and lunch? All we have to do is show up kick butt? I'm IN! How do I register for #TeamMcManus"
I am deeply grateful to Dr. Ryan as he likes to be called for helping me to get back on the roads. His confidence and belief in the body's tremendous healing power, his kinesiotaping technique and his suggestions for cross training exercises were a huge factor in my successful run on Friday.
Before I started working with Dr. Ryan, I was about ready to accept my new baseline of not running, of being afraid of my knee injury, not having confidence in my body and starting to believe myths about aging, and settling to use a cane to walk Spectacle Island with Tom since I wouldn't be able to run anymore.
One of my Facebook friends and Dr. Ryan were each recommending that I read You Are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza. Reading the book and watching his videos have been a huge game changer in my journey. It reminded me of what I know to be true and turbocharged what I set out to do 8 and a half years ago after receiving the diagnosis of post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease.
Tom and I love Falmouth on Olde Cape Cod. We had thought about doing the Cape Cod Marathon Relay with me doing the first leg of the relay but that's when I was setting limits not goals. Once we decided that I'd be running the Newport Marathon in 2016, we decided to do Falmouth in the Fall. It is the same route as the Falmouth Road Race but without the crowds. It's a time to enjoy the splendor of Cape Cod. It's a 7 mile scenic race that I have always wanted to run. Tom ran it twice and it will feel great to be off of the sidelines and run the race by his side. Back in 2010, we ran along the course together as part of my training for the Tufts 10K. We will be doing a lot of long runs on hills as we train for Falmouth in the Fall.
The Rock 'n Roll Marathon in Washington DC in March was going to be our next race but Spirit has other plans. We are heading to Bermuda in January for the Bermuda Marathon Weekend. We will be doing the Half Marathon! Bermuda holds many special memories for us. There was a legally blind veteran I met when I first started working at the VA as the Visual Impairment Services Team coordinator. He had suffered a massive stroke and was in coma for 3 months. When he emerged from the coma he was at first totally blind and then slowly regained his sight. His brain had difficulty processing information. He had been the Director of Pharmacy for the City of Boston and told me in no uncertain terms that he was sick and tired of being treated like a patient. So I put him to work as a volunteer for the Telefriend program at the VA. He had a gift for counseling that he discovered only after his stroke. Funny how life works sometimes huh? I taught him how to dial a phone with a large print overlay and got very creative in how he could achieve success in his volunteer role to accommodate to his other challenges that were a result of the stroke. We had a lot of fun and he also helped to save lives being a peer support to other legally blind veterans and elder veterans who were housebound and isolated. There were two veterans in particular who told him they were thinking about suicide and we were able to get them hospitalized. One of them is alive and thriving today.
Herb fished with the Sea and Surf Anglers Club of Boston and they competed against the Blue Waters Anglers Club of Bermuda. There was racism in fishing tournaments back in the day and so they started their own fishing tournament alternating between Bermuda and Falmouth. When Herb heard that I hadn't been on a "real" vacation, he brought in a map of Bermuda and said that my family had to take time and spend some money and go there. He would hook us up with his friends on the Island. That was 18 years ago. We took several trips with the Club and hung out on the dock. Here is the link to his obituary that is a tribute to an inspiring man.
The last trip I took to Bermuda was in October 2007. I had my first training session the day before we left with a personal trainer and had muscles I had no idea existed in my body. I could barely walk off of the plane I was so sore and couldn't wait to get into the pool at the Rosedon Hotel. I was still in my leg brace and used a wheelchair when we traveled. How phenomenal to return whole, vibrant, transformed and running a race I said I would run since 2010.
In February we return to Olde Cape Cod this time to Hyannis where Tom will run the Hyannis Half Marathon take two after last year's race was cancelled. I'll be delighted to be support crew and enjoy Camp Hyannis as it is affectionately called.
We want to return to Finish on the 50 next July and make that an annual tradition for Team McManus which will be our last race before toeing the line at the Newport Marathon 2016 next October.
Training has become a top priority for me.
I am enjoying every moment of this fantastic journey now. My heart overflows with gratitude and my Spirit is on fire!
I am going the distance this time because I know in every fiber of my Being that what you think you become, what you feel you attract and what you imagine you create.
Here's to faith, magic and manifestation...
Cheers! To Life! Love yourself well!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
I am writing "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," and "Going the Distance," chronicling my journey on the road to the Newport Marathon 2016.
“Toni Morrison said, "The function of freedom is to free someone else," and if you are no longer wracked or in bondage to a person or a way of life, tell your story. Risk freeing someone else. Not everyone will be glad that you did. Members of your family and other critics may wish you had kept your secrets. Oh, well, what are you going to do?” ~Anne Lamott
We were both social workers. We were both told we had progressive neuromuscular diseases. We both said "No!" and choose to find paths of healing and freedom. We had not met in person until yesterday before the start of the Finish at the 50 5K, introduced by a mutual runner friend, Ilene on Facebook.
I let myself sleep in yesterday morning. Tom and I did a 30 minute meditation in which I realized that my previous default settings were fear, fatigue and tremors. Now I am able to experience the natural ebb and flow of energy throughout the day allowing for times of high energy and down time. I felt in every fiber of my being that I am vibrant, healthy, strong. I no longer look for when my body is able to rest but rest when my body needs it. I am partnering with the Greater Mind as Joe Dispenza calls that wonderful Divine Love within each of us and creating new pathways that are filled with love instead of violence. Everything is healed and everything is healing. I am so in love with this process and the results are happening. I have a new found confidence in myself and in life. I feel empowered and I feel so hopeful on this journey. I am transforming my destiny from who I was filled with fear, fatigue and tremors to a woman who is brilliant and dazzling and fully alive enjoying every moment and savoring every sensation. I'm also feeling such joy and happiness in the process of creating this new body and falling in love with myself, my creation and my life. I then went on to visualize our perfect day ahead.
It set the tone for the day and what wondrous events happened!
Despite feeling pre-race jitters, I kept an even keel and sat outside listening to music while Tom had time to unwind from his work week. As I had predicted, there was no traffic on our way to Patriot Place. We picked up our bibs and walked around the Expo. The Boston Globe was there offering a subscription to the Sunday Globe and as an incentive, two tickets to tomorrow's Red Sox game. Sure why not we decided and will be going to the game tomorrow!
Next up was the Bermuda Marathon Weekend booth.
Now what's pretty amazing here is that I had set my sights on running the Bermuda Marathon for my 60th birthday in 2013. But then life happened. I never thought about it again. Tom and I had stopped by their booth at other Expos and quickly dismissed ever going back to Bermuda never mind running a race there. Never say never! Tom started chatting with Clarence "Stoker" Smith and I joined in the conversation. We both felt a tug at our souls and the more we talked with Clarence and Race Director Anthony, the stronger the tug. We reminisced about when we used to go there with the Sea and Surf Anglers Club who had a tournament with the Bermudian Blue Waters Angler Club. I felt goosebumps and a warm feeling all over. Anthony told me that I'd be better off running the Half Marathon rather than the 10K because of the steep hills on the course. I told them that the last time I was in Bermuda I was in a leg brace and using a wheelchair to travel. Clarence's wife said, "Look at you now girl." We exchanged information and Clarence told us he'd take us out on his boat when we came down for the weekend. I chatted with Anthony about the weather in January. "Look," he said in that delicious Bermuda accent. "I was told you people still have piles of snow near the Seaport Hotel from this past winter. I can guarantee you this. You will have no snow in Bermuda in January."
We sat down in the parking lot with our beach chairs until it was lunch time. Our waiter at CBS Scene was amazing and as it turned out he was a veteran who had been injured in the military but was having trouble filing a claim. I gave him my card and told him what to do to move forward on his claim and why it was important to receive the benefits he is entitled to. I had my pre-race chicken wrap with a salad with honey mustard dressing which had been my pre-race Wednesday evening run meal.
What next? Gun time wasn't until 6:00 pm.
We walked around. I had forgotten to bring a towel for after the race. We went into Eastern Mountain Sports and while we decided we could use paper towel from the rest rooms for apres race refreshment and not pay $26.00 for a towel, we did bump into a woman wearing a Merrimack Valley Strider singlet. We introduced ourselves and said that we have dual citizenship with L Street Running Club and the Striders. After we wished each other a good race, she posted on Facebook that she bumped into a Strider at the Finish at the 50 and we became fast friends.
Time to relax before race time...We took our chairs and sat in the shade in the middle of the plaza. There was a woman on Canadian Crutches dressed in red, white and blue. We made eye contact and then she walked away. I was about to text my friend and fellow L Streeter Michelle to see if she had arrived and wanted to meet up but something stopped me dead in my tracks. A few minutes later I hear, "Mary is that you?" "Yes, I answered". "I'm Sheryl."
I knew immediately who it was and was more than a little shocked to see her standing before me after she had posted on Facebook the severity of her symptoms with the flare. She told me that she had the whole family signed up for the race and didn't want to bail. She told me that she was feeling so self conscious in the ladies room (where she had gone to collect herself and to also check Facebook to see if I was at the Finish at the 50) and felt like she didn't belong there. We had a long talk. She refuses to accept that this is her new baseline and she has to adapt to it. She is exploring all paths for healing and I told her about Dr. Joe and his work and the book, "You Are the Placebo." She told me that she had no idea I was running the race because she wasn't able to stay on Facebook very long during her flair.
She was feeling so anxious about the race. I told her to imagine her best race ever and to feel it in her body and in her Being. We hugged. Said I love you and wished each other a great race.
It was hot out and Tom and I decided to go in the car and put on the air conditioning for our pre-race meditation. I reminded myself of something I heard from Dr. Joe Dispenza, "You've rehearsed this so much that you just let your body do what it knows to do. You won't even have to think about it."
Pre race fueling with luna bar and orange slices - check. Filled up water bottles - check. Last pee before gun time - check.
Everything was effortless.
We lined up between the 9:00 and 10:00 minute/mile pace. Typically I would go in the back with the walkers but I am not a walker. I am a runner.
The energy was wonderful and I got in the zone telling myself that I wanted to just go out and run and have fun enjoying every minute along the way. Sheryl and her family were cheering us on at the start. I got very emotional saying to Tom, "She knows I've been there..in a leg brace and wheelchair and here she is seeing me at 61 setting my sights on a PR!"
There was an unexpected uphill at the beginning of the course. I found myself in the middle of the pack running swift, running with relative ease although we were all joking about the hill. "Who ordered this hill at the beginning of the race?" one runner quipped. "What the hill?" quipped another. The pack was pretty thick (and I was staying with them!). Tom paced me and we were passing runners. Yes we.were.passing.runners. I remembered though about a training run at Wollaston Beach when it was hot and I had used a lot of energy early in the training run to pass a runner. After Tom paced me to pass several runners, I told him that we needed to settle into our pace. I felt like I was flying an airplane and we had reached our cruising altitude needing to pull back on the throttle.
It was hot and I wanted to run swift but also to run smart. I felt incredibly free in my body. The time on the clock no longer mattered. I was running from the inside out and wanted to enjoy every moment of my first race as a runner - not as a survivor of paralytic polio and violence. My body knew what to do and I was going to leave the time on the clock be whatever it was going to be. Our MVS friend passed us on the ramps. She said she forgot how hard they were. We said we were choosing to focus our perspective of easy rather than hard to get through.
The ramps did bite as my MVS runner friend said on Facebook but I dug deep, was focused and knew that after the uphills there was going to be a sweet very long downhill. There were adequate water stops so I was able to cool off as well as hydrate.
It was amazing to run around the top deck of Gillette Stadium and see the finish line and the jumbotron.
As we came onto the field the announcer said here comes Tom McManus and Mary McManus of Chestnut Hill, Mass. I savored the moment and heard my friends Michelle and Anne cheering for me. I hit the mat at 50:00 knowing that was gun time. It was a matter of how long it took us to hit the start mat but ultimately I didn't care. I had the best time and what a day filled with magic, mysticism and wonder and it wasn't over yet!
Anne gave me a huge hug and what a blessing she snapped this photo as we were crossing the finish line!
Michelle came over and offered congratulations! She had posted a video on Thursday with her doing a dance for exercise and before the race I asked her on Facebook if we could do a celebration dance on the 50 yard line. She said absolutely so here it is:
We were telling her about this amazing woman Sheryl and that we needed to wait for her and the next thing we knew, she was crossing the finish line with her son! She said that she did what I suggested. She imagined her best race ever and her body knew what to do. We were crying and hugging and celebrating. Her daughter had twisted her ankle so she was worried about her with her husband finishing the race. We sent out positive energy and in short order, they too crossed the finish line.
We celebrated with photos:
More hugs. More love. More joy and hope...
Sheryl told me that she had no idea how she was ever going to emerge from this most recent flare which had lasted the longest she could ever remember. She now has hope ... and I would like to add incredible courage to show up and rock the race as she did. She would not accept what the doctors were telling her and despite how she was feeling, she made up her mind that she was going to be able to run the race.
My life is blessed for having shared the day yesterday with Sheryl and her family. It was a day filled with Divine Love and synchronicity. It was a day to celebrate hope and independence. Feeling the heal. Healing the fear and letting Love prevail.
We said our goodbyes and Tom and I had a delicious post race meal at Skipjacks. Salmon. Mashed potatoes and sauteed spinach with sparkling water for me. Of course we had to share a dessert because that's why we run, right?
Before the fireworks we went to our car to get into some dry clothes. We thought the fireworks would be over Gillette but they were over Patriot Place.
That moment that your husband says to you, "Come on let's run up the stairs to see the fireworks," and you just go ... yeah that moment to capture the celebration of freedom with beautiful creations:
Oh and about that PR? Tom and I agreed that the way I was running, I had hit my PR. He was trying to calculate how long it took us to cross the starting line. The excitement mounted as I looked for our results on coolrunning.com that was followed up by an email from the race. My official time was ... wait for it ... 47:19 - 27 seconds off my PR but almost a minute better than my 2014 Corrib Pub 5K time. Besides, I manifested something way more important than a PR!
My friend Susan posted on Facebook: Happy! Happy! Happy! From my own experience it took a bit of speed work and several races before I got back to my racing pace. In fact, I have gotten even faster than I was leading up to my injury, so just be patient. It is amazing that you were only 28 seconds off your PR! That just shows how strong you are.
And then Sheryl posted this:
One of the most amazing days for me on so many levels! I was feeling so inadequate to be there. Post flare, dizzy, wobbling around, bloated, you name it I was feeling it.
But I vow to get up, dress up and show up if able. This was something I continue to need to teach my kiddos! It will get better! This too shall pass and together we can get through anything!
Then I met up with Mary McManus and her husband Tom McManus. An amazing couple so full of love, life and faith!
When I spoke my doubts aloud, Mary said to me,"don't focus on your doubts, instead visualize your last best race."
That's what I did. I got into the zone of my last 10k that I PR'd. I got into a rhythm with the crutches I didn't even think possible. I ran with Aidan and together we took off. Wonder Woman and Superman finished so strong. I reached my runners high, that pain free bliss where I was invincible! I will run another marathon someday! Yesterday reminded my brain of that! The brain fog is clearing and while it still at take a while to get there, I am on the right path. I am not alone on my journey! and then she added: You did amazing!!!! I cannot express how thankful I am to both you and your husband. From each touch giving me positive healing energy, to every sweaty hug! The impact you had on my family was so amazing and incredible! I am sorry you didn't hit your PR but what you accomplished yesterday will forever remain in the memories and hearts of the Morley family. Love and relaxation for a great holiday week to you both!
Cheers! To life! Love yourself well!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.
I am writing "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," and "Going the Distance," chronicling my journey on the road to the Newport Marathon 2016.
