Saturday, March 4, 2017
Reclaim Advantage! Reclaim Life! Rewiring with Love
Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, something Western medicine calls a progressive neuromuscular disease. The years of self loathing, of dissociating mind from body in an effort to survive the hell of my childhood and adolescence and the effects of paralytic polio caught up with me. Everything was stuck and stagnant in mind, body and soul.
Eight years, in April of 2015, after being on this quest and writing poetry with fervor and passion asking when would I ever reclaim my life yearning to run unencumbered and free and to heal the once devastating effects of my past, Jeffrey Spratt, MT entered my life. In truth we entered each other's lives. He had pioneered a method of muscular therapy, aptly named the Spratt Method of Muscular Therapy but he had not claimed the fullness of his gift. My mind, body and soul were crying out for healing and so the Universe in all of her wisdom brought us together.
After the past several weeks of intense and profoundly transformtative massage therapy sessions, I was ready to surrender and accept all that happened to me AND to completely trust Jeffrey and allow his healing hands and compassionate presence to love me well. It wasn't pretty to reach this point. The week before I had gone so far as to say to Jeffrey, "I don't even know why you want to have anything to do with me. Oh yeah. Who else is going to help you write your book?" But what happened was I embodied the violence and equated that with my feeling vile. Horrible ugly things happened to me and I believed I was horrible and ugly despite each week Jeffrey infusing me with loving care and compassionate words. Through the combination of the power of positive quality skilled touch and caring words, I am able to transcend the past and transform mind, body and soul. It's a process and takes time.
As Thoreau said:
Jeffrey and I love to use metaphors and analogies about the work. As he was treating me with CranioSacral Therapy, I began to experience spasms on my upper left body. We made the comparison to what happens when wires are trying to make an electrical connection. We've stripped the corrosion off of the wires but I'm not quite to the point yet and I emphasize YET where all the energy can smoothly flow. We are both very aware that my body is still releasing the stored energy from the trauma and restoring itself to goodness. For more on this please check out the work of Dr. Peter Levine.
While being mindful to not interrupt the natural healing process of my body, Jeffrey moved to tenderly massage my left arm and worked to encourage the flow of energy. New memories and new imprints abound facilitating new neuromuscular connections and allowing me to file away the traumatic memories so they are no longer adversely affecting me.
When I first set out on my healing quest, my pen was my Divining Rod for healing as I imagined and visualized myself as healthy, whole and free in my body - and I wrote, among many others, these poems:
A New Lease on Life
what God has wrought
let no man put asunder.
Old wallpaper stripped
once a trickle now flows
flickering lamps rewired
no longer dim
light bathes this old house.
sitting on the porch swing
In a moment of unbridled joy
barefoot and free
they become One.
Rewiring With Love
When I don't act in love and I'm not being kind
it's as if there's a switch that goes off in my mind.
My connection with God gets shut off so fast
with a prayer on my lips, I know this can't last.
When negative thoughts seek to spark a good fight
they take over my being and snuff out the light.
I take a deep breath and a prayer I say
to rekindle the flame, to re-light my way.
What causes my mind to go grim and dark
the night from the past, it still has a spark.
No longer to flame that spark with my fear
I now know God's presence is always so near.
I just have to ask through Thanksgiving and praise
and feel all is well – no more doubt shall I phrase.
To trust and to Love with the fullness of heart
any time of the day a new day I shall start!
Thank You dear God, for the peace in my life,
Love, Truth and Wisdom to temper life's strife.
With You in my heart, I bless and I praise
erase the harsh judgments or doubts I may raise.
Send out love vibrations, to one and to all,
the currents heal, uphold when we fall.
Release all the heartaches, forgive and embrace
You're the master electrician I connect with Your Grace.
From Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
New lease on life
gutting my earthly home
strip her down to the bearings
get my bearings
in the present moment
view from the balcony
landscape of peace and serenity
I am home.
Before I found anyone to partner with on my journey, I would meditate imagining God as my master electrician who was going to help me to rewire everything. While I did a great job on my own, I had to have healing hands and a compassionate presence to partner with me to rewire my system, once so battered and bruised, tortured and tormented, with love. What a blessing that ten years after setting out on a healing odyssey, I reclaim my advantage and reclaim my life feeling whole and holy integrated.
To your health and wellness,
My latest book, 'Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance' is available on Amazon chronicling my journey to health and wellness as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma and a woman who refused to quit!