Sunday, December 11, 2016
Reclaim Advantage! Reclaim Life! From Humiliation to Inspiration
Yesterday was an epic 11.5 mile training run for Team McManus on our road to the Bermuda Marathon Weekend.
At 3 miles in Newton, Tom stopped to take a photo of me with these Christmas decorations on someone's lawn but instead, he decided to take a video of me:
When I looked at it on Facebook when we got home, I asked him if he could please say something about the fact that I was just standing there not saying or doing anything because I thought he was taking a still photo. I felt that the head tremors that are in the process of healing were VERY noticeable. I felt self conscious despite the reality that the whole point of the shot was to watch the Penguin photobomb and that the video received a lot of love and likes.
I realized I needed to just let it go and that no explanation was needed. This morning Tom's eyes filled with tears as he suggested that people who are watching the video know the courage and strength it takes for me to be out in 20 degree weather (with a feels like we didn't really want to know about) and run 11.5 miles; training for my 2nd CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Marathon Weekend. He said that rather than my seeing the head tremors that I see a woman of strength and courage whose journey inspires others.
When I first met Dr. Ryan Means, a chiropractor and healer in every sense of the word, back in February of 2015, he saw beyond my current physical state and focused on possibility, on healing and transformation. With his adjustments, his KT tapings, the care and compassion he so freely offered reminding me that I am worthy of healing, I moved beyond all appearances of an MRI of my left knee and the toll that paralytic polio and violence took on my body. He turned me onto the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza and Dr. Candace Pert.
In my weekly treatments with Jeffrey Spratt,MT using the Spratt Method of Muscular Therapy, the method he pioneered that we discovered is highly effective in healing the effects of trauma, we unearth and heal the traumatic memories that left emotional and physical wounds in their wake. The emotional wounds leave physical scars in the body. With compassionate presence and strong yet tender skilled, intuitive hands, elbows and anything else Jeffrey needs to use to bring about healing through the power of positive quality touch, I am able to heal the thoughts, beliefs and feelings that had led to suffering. I am able to, as Dr. Joe Dispenza says, break the habit of being myself and cross the river of change so I can live in freedom, peace and equanimity.
In last week's treatment I recalled how my parents and grandmother humiliated me. Now I am not talking about verbal humiliation or criticism although that certainly does take a toll on a child's developing psyche. I am talking about humiliation through rape, beatings, abandonment and neglect. I also suffered humiliation and bullying at school after contracting paralytic polio. I left my Kindergarten year before the school year ended in 1959 as a beautiful ballerina with long shining hair healthy and whole and returned to 1st grade on Canadian Crutches, a full leg brace with a pixie hair cut since my mother and grandmother decided that my long hair was just too much trouble to take care of.
Jeffrey reminds me through touch and through words that I am beautiful, worthy, deserving, strong and how I inspire him with my journey. He helps to heal my broken heart and to open these memory files to add a new attachment now - one where I am no longer alone to face what happened to me and one where I feel empowered to reclaim my beauty, my life, my body and my Being the way I was always meant to be embracing myself with love and compassion. Then the memories no longer leak wreaking havoc with my nervous system creating suffering in my life. New neuromuscular connections, the pathways that needed to heal after contracting paralytic polio, and the parts of my body that were brutalized and tortured can now finally heal and as we like to say, my body becomes factory new! Jeffrey creates a safe and powerful healing environment that joins with the intention that I set forth ten years ago after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease - to leave my 20 year award winning career at the VA to heal my life!
The wound of humiliation is deep and painful BUT all wounds heal when we stop protecting them and allow nature to take its course.
Even though I was very self conscious about how I looked in the video, I realize that those tremors are nothing more than the manifestation of what happened to me. A badge of honor if you will AND most importantly are healing! After an emotional release in last week's treatment bringing into conscious awareness feelings I was afraid to experience before now, I felt peace and there was not a trace of a tremor. I felt a cataclysmic connection happen at the top of my spine repairing the damage from the polio virus and the violence.
It's a miracle that I can reclaim my advantage and reclaim my life after all the events I endured. It's a miracle that I can shift from feeling humiliation, shame and embarrassment to knowing that my journey of triumph over some of the most horrific events one human being can endure is inspiring others, giving them hope and opening the door to their freedom.
To your health and wellness,