Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about crossing the river of change with fear at your back. "Crossing the river of change requires that you leave the same familiar predictable self— connected to the same thoughts, same choices, same behaviors, and same feelings—and step into a void of the unknown. The gap between the old self and the new self is the biological death of your old personality. If the old self must die, then you have to create a new self with new thoughts, new choices, new behaviors, and new emotions. Entering this river is stepping toward a new unpredictable, unfamiliar self. The unknown is the only place where you can create—you cannot create anything new from the known.”
Part of my memorized self was feeling less than.... and harboring jealous feelings to those who have not experienced the extent of trauma and challenges that I have experienced. I shared with Jeffrey Spratt,MT, my confidante, healer and dear friend that when I thought about clients who could just show up and let go on the treatment table and enjoy the "yumminess" he offers as part of his treatments, I felt jealous and frustrated. After yesterday's treatment which was another profoundly transformational massage therapy session, I had a new experience. I felt incredible strength and honor in all that I have overcome. There are more and more moments of being able to thoroughly let in Jeffrey's touch to heal and experience the yumminess complete with goosebumps. There is powerful positive momentum happening in bringing to light all that needs to be healed and transforming the terror and the memories so they no longer are a driving force in my life. I already notice how trauma triggers quickly come and go. I draw strength and comfort from my time on the table and reprogram myself from being conditioned to pain and fear to experiencing being nurtured, feeling at ease, and feeling unencumbered by the horror of my past. What a blessing that I don't have to bear any of this alone anymore but rather have Jeffrey bear witness and hold the space for me to process it all while he provides compassionate presence. What a gift!
We have unearthed the horror of it all but in addition, and most importantly, we have unearthed my treasures!
I feel a new connection to my left leg and can feel my muscle memory from before the sh** hit the fan in my life in my feet and all the way through my legs. I feel "factory new." We are healing the terror and bathing the wounds with the power of positive quality touch, compassion and the healing power of Divine Love.
Navigating the river of change and experiencing life in a new way is at once frightening and exhilarating.
It takes courage to go on this journey but the rewards are so very sweet.
Two weeks from today I will be at the Rosedon Hotel in Bermuda trained and ready to run my second CONSECUTIVE Bermuda Half Marathon. It's going to be epic! For six months I trained for 5 days with running, swimming, Arc Trainer, Bike and strength training. Twelve miles in the pouring rain last Saturday was magical. This is my new normal. Travel and work and representing Spratt Muscular Therapies; sharing my journey, training and living a full, vibrant life feeling whole and (w)holy integrated at 63 YEARS OLD!
Crossing the river of change with fear at my back, my bestie Tom by my side and partnering with master muscular therapist Jeffrey Spratt! I am excited for what 2017 will bring!
To your health and wellness,