“In both Running & racing & life it is about focusing on having fun staying within yourself & relaxing."~Geoff Smith
I allowed my training to get a little too intense last week. I felt so good in my body and I pushed with a tempo run and then hill training. After a treatment with Jeffrey Spratt, MT Owner and Principal of Spratt Muscular Therapies, LLC, ice, rest, meditation and visualization along with realizing that there are still tears in my left leg, my left leg and knee felt much better. And I want to keep it that way.
In last Thursday's treatment with Jeffrey, I realized that I had been so immersed in my past experiences that I did not have an opportunity to grieve all that I lived through. Now that I am partnering with Jeffrey, everything is healing and everything is moving through leaving healthy, clear energy in its wake. As Jeffrey worked to bring relief to my IT band letting me know it was pretty beat up, I said to him that I had an epiphany, "I no longer have to be afraid of my left leg." I went on to say, "Wait let me frame that in the positive. I have total confidence in my left leg. We have created a new left leg." "Factory new," Jeffrey replied. I felt my heart swell. Yes! I am a brand new car from the factory without a dent or a scratch on me. Jeffrey also echoed that he has total confidence in my left leg. As Jeffrey provided CranioSacral Therapy, I felt Spirit inviting me to finally let go of all of the pain and terror within me. I had a mystical experience on the treatment table hearing Spirit say, "The Force is strong in this one." I watched the scene between me as Luke Skywalker and my father as Darth Vader with Darth Vader falling into the pit. "Evil can never prevail," I said to Jeffrey after my treatment. It was the most transformative treatment I ever experienced. I could see myself on the Biggest Loser jumping through the paper of the "before" photo and then emerging transformed. I felt as though I was lost in time and space allowing a shift to happen and to, as Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about in "You Are The Placebo," cross the river of change. I felt reborn and innocent.
Since Thursday, I have felt healing and opening happening in my left leg. I deserve to only experience the soreness and discomfort from great workouts and runs. I no longer need to carry the burdens of the past. I remembered there were bone spurs on the MRI and so I am setting out to dissolve them just as I had in my cervical spine.
I had an early morning dream. I have had a recurrent dream of being in a car that accelerates and I have no control over the car. The car either crashes and burns or I wake up before it ends with sweating, heart pounding and shaking. But not today! No ... I was driving on Commonwealth Avenue near Kenmore Square in front of what is now a dorm but used to be the Howard Johnson's Kenmore Hotel. It was where we stayed when we dropped my brother off to attend BU in 1969. I was driving and there was this car speeding and driving next to me. It had total control of my car. I could feel the energy of the driver of this other car wanting me dead. (In real life my father said to me while in a drunken rage, "I'm going to kill you.") I could feel that my legs were paralyzed so I had no control over my car. I had to initially surrender to what this other car and driver were doing to me. But then I drove into the underground T stop on Comm. Ave. I did not know how I was going to stop the car since I was paralyzed. I reached down with my left hand and put my hand on the brake and then pulled the emergency brake. I explained what happened to everyone around me. They were so caring, kind and compassionate. One person held out his hand and said, "Give me your car keys. I'll get your car out of here." Tom appeared and helped me to get my belongings out of the car.
I woke up breathing deeply feeling that so much pain had drained from my left leg and from my heart. Tom and I meditated before we headed out to do our 7.5 mile run. I told Tom that it's time for me to enjoy running. I have to let go of my time and just take it easy and run from the inside out allowing my body to do whatever it needs to do. We also decided that we'll continue to do tempo runs and do hills on training runs but no more hill repeats - at least not until my gastroc muscle on my left leg gets stronger so that it can support the rigors of hill repeats. Just a few months ago I had no gastroc muscle on MRI so it's a blessing to feel the strength return.
It was a gorgeous morning for a run. We decided to go down Beacon Street along the Boston Marathon course. We had an absolutely perfect run. We paused for water stops at every mile, had our luna bar at mile 4 and unlike last week when I hit the wall at 6.64 miles, I sailed through every mile. We are taking less time at the water stops and I felt light, unencumbered, free and enjoyed every moment of our training run. Despite how beat up my left leg felt after Tuesday's training, I felt confident, strong and had no pain in my knee. I felt the hills in my gluts, my hips, my core and my hamstrings but there was no stress on my knee joints.
I was absolutely amazed to discover that I had taken a minute off of last week's training run. We had incorporated more hills and this was a much more rigorous course than last week. I did not push my pace at all. Here I am feeling accomplished and satisfied with our wonderful 7.5 mile run as we move ever closer to the Bermuda Marathon Weekend.
I got into an Epsom Salts ice bath, took a hot shower and stretched.
Tom was scheduled to have a 60 minute massage with Jeffrey to help him prepare for his BAA Half coming up in a month. He told me that he wanted to share the time with me and have me get a ShakeOut. I told him he needed to have his time on the table but he said that 25 minutes with a ShakeOut is more than enough time for him to recharge and get ready for his race. He pointed out that Jeffrey gets more done in 25 minutes than most massage therapists accomplish in 90 minutes. Jeffrey was delighted to give us both ShakeOuts and was excited to hear about my dream, about today's training run and how last Thursday's treatment had such a profound effect on me. He told me what a privilege it is to partner with me on my journey. After my ShakeOut, I told him this was heaven on earth.
So there you have it my friends. Another 7.5 miles in the Bank of Bermuda for the Bermuda Half Marathon coming up in 124 days (but who is counting?) I am so happy to have experienced a new ending to a dream that plagued me for decades that opens the portal to complete healing and all possibilities for achieving goals on and off of the roads. It's a new beginning - a whole new world. I am deeply grateful.
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing odyssey in "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" and continue the journey in "Journey Well." These two inspirational books that will motivate you and move you to tears along with my books of inspirational poetry are available on Amazon.