Thursday, August 20, 2015
Going the Distance: On Healing, Hugs and Divine Intelligence
Since I tripped and fell on my training run last Saturday, I have been blessed to witness physical healing and the Divine Intelligence within me that allows that physical healing to happen. The road rash is gone. The scrapes on my knees and right hand, on my nose and lip are completely healed and the deeper scrapes on my left hand are almost healed.
The first thing we did after completing our 6.5 mile run because there was nothing that was going to stop me from going the distance that day as we train for the Bermuda Half Marathon was to go into the ocean:
I could feel the healing happening from the moment I walked into the water. I dove in and swam with Tom. As we sat on the beach and watched the waves, I could feel so much of the past that needed to be cleared out come to the surface of my mind.
On Monday, I covered the wounds with waterproof band-aids and went for my workout at the WaveHealth pool. I knew that being in water would continue to calm my mind after the fall and promote healing as I let my body kmow we were totally fine!
During my meditations this week I was reflecting on why I was feeling so anxious about training for another marathon. I'm in much better shape than I was 6 years ago and I'm partnering with Jeffrey, Principal and Owner of Spratt Muscular Therapies LLC, the best muscular therapist in Boston each week. And then the realization hit me...
It's where I hit the wall every time in my recovery .... that is ... until now!
I was carrying the burden of guilt for first my dad's suicide and most recently in 2011 the suicide of my nephew. Until I started playing around in my meditation with becoming aware of the messages hardwired into my brain from the violence, from my dad's suicide and then not only my nephew's suicide but how my brother shunned me at the funeral after I gave my heartwarming, truthful and tender eulogy, I could not move beyond what happened to me. I could not allow myself to fully embrace the beautiful intention that Jeffrey set for me after my first treatment with him, "I want you to run unencumbered."
One of Jeffrey's greatest commodities, as he calls it, are his hugs. He is 6'3" (my brother's height) and overflows with Divine Love and Energy that comes through him both when he works on my body and when he hugs me.
On Monday, as I was leaving WaveHealth, I just happened to bump into him in the hallway. He gave me one of his signature hugs.
I often say that Jeffrey's hands are like erasers that erase all that went before and allow me to create a new way of Being and a new body. Well his hug was a powerful eraser to heal the effects of when I went to hug my brother and he closed his eyes and folded his arms. I have always been wonderful at forgiving others but not so great at putting down the burden of guilt and blame I carried with me for decades.
Just as I work with Divine Intelligence to heal the scrapes and cuts from last Saturday's fall, I work with Divine Intelligence to heal my heart. I open my heart to all that was and embrace the grace that showers upon me in the present moment. I am in awe of the healing of these cuts and scrapes and bruises. I am in awe of the healing power of Divine Love that flows through each of us to ourselves and each other.
I love myself and take excellent care of myself tending to the wounds and feeling the healing, making the shift to this new way of being unencumbered by my past.
I know now I deserve to run free and unencumbered.
This time, I am clearing the path and going the distance!