Thursday, July 2, 2015
My Running Chronicles: Must Believe - This is the Moment!
In Billy Mills video about his upset in the 1964 Olympics he states how he wrote down in his journal, "Must believe!..."
Tomorrow is race day! When I cross the starting line, it's a symbol for all that I have been able to heal, transform and transcend. For the first time, I am not running as a mobility impaired runner or as a survivor of paralytic polio and violence. I am running free, unencumbered with joy, pleasure and gratitude. For the first time, I am partnering with a sports massage therapist who also believes in the body's incredible capacity and power to heal. Jeff suggested that we visit a parking garage to visualize the ramps we will run at Gillette Stadium.
On Sunday, Tom and I did one better and we went to Gillette Stadium to mentally prepare for race day:
We imagined how it will feel to cross the finish line and how we are going to crush those ramps - Godzilla style!
I am celebrating independence from my past and old beliefs; beliefs that I continue to shed when they emerge. My body is strong and getting stronger every day. I am growing new cartilage, melting scar tissue, building core, upper body and lower body strength. I shed the beliefs that I was told 8 1/2 years ago and beliefs I internalized as a result of my experiences and what I needed to do in order to survive that no longer serves me. Instead I am feeling deeply blessed and grateful for the healing that I have co-created with the Source of Life within and around me.
I must believe that I can now trust my body, not just on race day but every day and that, as Emile Coue told his patients, "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better."
I must believe that I can run fast and swift like Mercury:
and delight in this wonderful affirmation from Louise Hay:
I've trained well and I've trained hard.
I am ready mind, body and Spirit.
I must believe that I am a runner and this is the beginning of my running career. I must believe and remind myself that I am confident, sure and swift of foot now.
I must believe that I am ready for 46:52 on 7/3/15. This is the moment ... damn all the odds ... this day or never I sit forever with the gods... I do believe!
Cheers! To life! Love yourself well!
I chronicle the first 7 years of my healing journey after being diagnosed with post polio syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease as a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and 9 years of childhood domestic violence in Coming Home:A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility.
In Journey Well, the journey continues in the wake of my nephew's suicide on 3/4/11 and the events of 4/15/13. Through my journey of healing and transformation, we learn that no matter what life circumstances happen to us, we can always find a way to journey well.
I am writing "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems," and "Going the Distance," chronicling my journey on the road to the Newport Marathon 2016.